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Post by James on Jul 15, 2012 17:54:27 GMT -5
I'm probably going to continue Sam and Daenzil's adventures in 1500 words or less. Or would you take off points for including characters I've written before that are in an original(ish) universe, Agro? I don't see any reason to do so. |
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Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Jul 15, 2012 18:56:42 GMT -5
My idea for the city topic was an urban fantasy story about a minotaur who turns a city into his personal labyrinth  ... that would have been awesome. Yeah, I just got like half a dozen ideas of where to take that. |
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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Jul 15, 2012 19:07:49 GMT -5
How about I toss it in the bin, and anyone who wants to give it a shot can feel free?
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Post by James on Jul 15, 2012 19:17:03 GMT -5
How about I toss it in the bin, and anyone who wants to give it a shot can feel free? I'll feel bad as soon as I start writing it. |
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Post by Bloodeye the Bai Ze on Jul 15, 2012 21:25:39 GMT -5
How about I toss it in the bin, and anyone who wants to give it a shot can feel free? I'll feel bad as soon as I start writing it. Speaking of feeling bad... uh... here's the second part to my story I left out due to size and lack of city stuffs. ... yeah. The elevator door opened and Daddy walked out with her in his arms.
It was late. Past bedtime late. Maybe even past Mommy and Daddy's bedtime even.
She clung to his neck in a saddened hug of despair as they descended into the deep abyss, with only little lights in the ceiling and floor to show them the path.
"Hey love dove... I know it's late... I'm sorry. We're getting to the car right now." Daddy said on his phone. Mommy must be on it. She must be mad that it was past bedtime. She gets cranky when she doesn't sleep.
"No... *sigh* No we didn't find him."
The girl clung to her Daddy's neck even harder. Everywhere. They must have been everywhere in the city. The trains. The park. Everywhere! But Toucan... wasn't there.
She felt inside what she could see on the out: descending deep into a black hole. Without Toucan, who would she play with? Who would she eat supper with? Who would she hug at night when she went to sleep?"
How could she live?
This city... was a bad place. It took Toucan from her! She couldn't help but drain angry tears into Daddy's shoulder.
"Yeah she's taking it pretty hard.... No. I know she should have kept an eye on him better it's just... I gave her that bird, remember? I have a soft spot for it too. No! I'm not- look she's not happy. I'm gonna get her into the car and we're coming home. Yeah... yeah... I'll see you soon. Love ya."
They reached Daddy's pretty red car, but the dark even made that scary. He opened the back door and placed her in her car seat, but she refused to let go of his neck.
"Sweetheart. You have to let go."
"No! Toucan! Toucan, Daddy!" she bawled. Just wanted to look one more time. Just one more time. The city was so scary at night! Toucan would be so scared! This ugly place wasn't for a pretty bird like him!
"I know, I know." Daddy cued as he unwrapped her from his head. "But we looked everywhere."
"But, but..," she squished her face so hard it hurt. Her eyes sprayed forth big soppy tears all over as she cried. "TOUCAAAAAAAAN!!!"
"Sweetie... I'm sorry. He's gone."
Those words only made it so much worse. She didn't know she could cry so hard in her life, but she did. Her sparkly shirt was slick wet from her crying and her nose ran so fast it poured like her eyes did.
Stupid city! Daddy should have never brought them there! The city took Toucan and now she'd never see him again!
Daddy wiped her face with a tissue gently. His hands felt soft and caring like they always did. He never liked to hear her cry. He was always so fast to try to make her laugh even when she didn't want to or give her a big hug to calm her down or kiss a boo-boo when it hurt. But now... what could he do?
"You must be thirsty," he said as he glanced over at the small cooler in the front seat.
She shook her head no.
"You should drink some juice, sweetie. You'll feel better."
"No I won't." she sniffed. She wouldn't feel better ever again.
Daddy reached into the cooler and pulled out a box of juice. As much as she didn't want to admit it, all the crying had left her mouth dry and icky. She took the box and sipped the little straw sadly. She was so focussed on thinking about the terrors that poor Toucan was going through, she didn't even realize that Daddy was also focussed on staring at something on the floor of the front seat.
He was quiet, but slowly reached down and picked something up.
It was blue and yellow, with a bright rainbow of colors striping it's banana-shaped front.
The girl's mouth dropped as fast as her juice did.
"TOUCAN!!!"
Daddy held the mischievous bird in his hand, awestruck at the sight himself.
"How did- we never came back to the car." he mumbled.
"Daddy!" she cried, her arms held out as far as the straps on her seat would let her go.
He handed her the toy and she hugged it as hard as she ever had. "Toucan! You're safe! I was sooooo scared and worried!"
Daddy was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that the toy had somehow mysteriously teleported into the car, but she held up her beloved Toucan to him.
"Daddy. You said Toucan was magic! Like he was with you! You were right!"
He was silent for a bit, then just grinned. "Yeah. I did say that, didn't I?"
As the trio pulled out of parking garage, the little girl placed her little friend up against the glass of window. The lights in the towers were so bright, it was like they had put all the stars inside to shine up the dark night. Like the dark scary things... the monsters and the boogeymen had no place here.
Maybe the city wasn't as bad as she thought.
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Jul 16, 2012 1:51:13 GMT -5
Why do all of my good ideas come to me while in the bathroom? I might need to move my office in there. I have my skeleton plot/idea just need to flesh it out and then trim it and then finally edit.
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Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Jul 16, 2012 1:55:55 GMT -5
Why do all of my good ideas come to me while in the bathroom? I might need to move my office in there. I have my skeleton plot/idea just need to flesh it out and then trim it and then finally edit. Keep a notebook and pen by the toilet. |
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Post by J.O.N ((Dragonwing)) on Jul 16, 2012 2:07:01 GMT -5
Why do all of my good ideas come to me while in the bathroom? I might need to move my office in there. I have my skeleton plot/idea just need to flesh it out and then trim it and then finally edit. Keep a notebook and pen by the toilet. Pooping is the perfect time to contemplate stuff, nothing is going to distract you when your on the toilet. |
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Astrael
Scribe
Darkness exists only when we choose to not cast light
Posts: 248
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Post by Astrael on Jul 16, 2012 3:57:29 GMT -5
(speaking of poop) Poop. I had the awesome idea for the topic and then write it in an epic to give it a more fantastical feel... and totally forgot I had to write prose =:  Now I have an awesome entry that is 200 words too long and doesn't meet the requirements. Any chance I could frame it in a story and still submit it? |
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Post by James on Jul 16, 2012 6:36:54 GMT -5
The reason the requirement is prose because I'd mark epic poetry very differently to how I would mark prose. I'm looking for different things between the two formats. I'm looking for different techniques and styles.
All of which makes me uneasy marking them under the same schedule for the same competition, as you've seen with Reffy and Flash Fiction.
Now, I'm not going to say no to an entry. But even if you frame it as a story, and it's still really isn't a short story, I am going to have to dock a point or two for not meeting the requirements.
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Astrael
Scribe
Darkness exists only when we choose to not cast light
Posts: 248
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Post by Astrael on Jul 16, 2012 21:57:32 GMT -5
I'll clean it up and put it in the story forum then take a piece and expand that into an entry. I write to win!
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Post by JMDavis ((Silver)) on Jul 17, 2012 0:26:06 GMT -5
I finished the piece, for the most part. Going to give it another read through and see if there are any errors. Only complaint I'm having is that I couldn't do everything that I wanted to do since the one scene I had started with ran up to 1400 words, and the next scene(s) I was going to use would double, if not triple, the entire thing... so I had to tell instead of show for the last bit |
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Orombur
Senior Scribe
Especially Mushu.
Posts: 2,417
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Post by Orombur on Jul 18, 2012 0:47:42 GMT -5
Running right up to 1000 words so far, and still a rather sizable scene to go. Hmmmmmm.
It feels good to be writing again though.
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Post by Injin on Jul 18, 2012 11:40:48 GMT -5
I was going to post last night, but then I saw the first entry to the challenge for this round. Told me I had to edit mine a little, if only so I improve some of the description portions of the story I wrote.
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Jul 18, 2012 16:38:46 GMT -5
A little over my target number for words but I just couldn't find a way to make it fit. Still reasonably happy with it: high-fantasy before the epic hero or great quest to save the world ... because those worlds still exist before the magnificent stories start. ;D
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