My short poems (for when the urge hits me)

[Dylaria]

((I figured I might as well start putting these up as I think of them. I pretty much break all poetry rules but if people want to leave tidbits on styles and how to improve I won't mind at all))

I am but a wraith
And everything falls through me
All ill thoughts, feelings

They all fall away
Like leaves from the tallest trees
For now I am free

Nothing can touch me
Drag me down into the pits
Sorrow has no hold

Tonight I am free
Finally allowed to soar
Is this levity?

The Shadows are gone
Vanished into my dark mind
It will return soon

But I will take this
I feel this strange emotion
Is this happiness?

I really don't know
It's better than usual
So I will take it.

[Kaez]

Poetry is poetry because its rule-less. Poetry is most everything. But you've actually got a consistent meter. So you've definitely got no concern Keep it up :]]

[Jenny (Reffy)]

I loved it ;D Not entirely sure why. I think it was the imagery and feeling it provoked.

The shorter sentences were perfect. I liked the structure. I did want possibly one more paragraph/thing on how the 'strange emotion' felt - but that's just personal preference.

[Dylaria]

Madness consumes all
Chaos has seeped in all things
Machines have broken

Repairs are starting
Long tedious and boring
I sit here typing

Soon I must do much
All of the reinstating
So much work to do

I hope this works well
That the price is worth the cost
Or I will be mad

[Dylaria]

(meh, screw meters on this one.)

If I had three wishes, what would they be
I already know without a doubt in my mind
Things that are most likely not as unique as I think

My first wish would be invisibility but not for fun
To not be seen is to not be stared at, looked down on
Best of all I can evade my own gaze, filled with petty hatreds

Second would be a place to be perfectly alone
A solitary place with only myself and the void anywhere
Somewhere to brood, a perfect space for one such as me

Third would be to see up to three months in the future
But not the normal future you see, this future is different
Three months after I depart forever, to see the true reactions

All my thoughts would be finished, the questions all answered
I would have not what I want but at least what I deserve
I have no right to ask for anything more.

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

I can't help but notice that your three wishes are essentially for the same thing.
Not really a critique on the piece, so much as an observation.

[Dylaria]

The fire of wrath burns in me
Venom waiting to be set free
In your veins so open wide
My bite will leave no hope inside.

When your heart begins to die
My glare will melt you to your core
And when you look into my eye
I will but laugh and lock the door

Your soul shall never break free
My hold is too strong to shatter
And you shall be trapped with me
For eternity nothing will any longer matter.

[Dylaria]

The dragon high above the sun
Is hunting for the perfect soul
The thunder beckons his return
Behold! The judgment of the world

While all the people try to run
The dragon watches them dig their holes
He burns them, ashes to the urns
Until they overflow and into the sky they are twirled.

The planet crushed beneath the dragon's coil
Sundered earth, broken skies
Eternal judgment has been dealt
The dragon's work now near done

The soul of the world in turmoil
Now just a glint in the great dragon's eye
The world is dead, nothing more felt
The dragon returns to high above the sun.

[Kaez]

The latter of the recent two seems to be pretty straightforward. Which isn't a bad thing, but it certainly is less thought-inspiring than the one before it, which I'm trying to work our right now.

In any case, you should write more of this. We don't have nearly enough poetry on this site, in my opinion...

[Dylaria]

Sterile room, white giants without faces
Scared and unsure you are greeted with a short sharp pain
Welcome to the world, the carnival of suffering!
Take my hand and look upon the path.
For this trip will condense a century to mere moments.

All things age, all things die. Do not fear these.
One is your timepiece the other the only mystery.
As age goes by you will see others looking similar to yourself.
They may hurt you in many ways or even come to your aid.
Still, they are slaves to the regulations from taller powers you will only comprehend with time.

The world around you is a torrent of idiocy and misery.
They raise some as saviors while they crown all liars.
With wisdom you will see though the mist, or in ignorance be consumed.

You will have choices in this world, although all are ultimately hollow.
Do you work toward the common delusions of what the fools think are power and happiness?
Will you suffer even as these goals show their falsity?
Or do you stand the tide and try to look past the veils?
To see the hollowness yet suffer in the knowledge that you have gained nothing?

In the end you return to that void, unwanted baggage in the ground.
Locked within a sterile black box or mere dust among the earth.
Salvation only after a century of suffering and a hollow salvation at that.
You will leave forever lacking positivity but much more learned.

[Kaez]

carnival or suffering!

That probably should be 'of'.

[Appolix]

Nice Poetry I liked it.

[Dylaria]

Oct 29, 2009 14:45:18 GMT -5 Kaez said:

carnival or suffering!

That probably should be 'of'.

Fixed.

Oct 29, 2009 16:47:42 GMT -5 Appolix said:

Nice Poetry I liked it.

And thank you. I do know I'm not much of a poet though.

[Dylaria]

For ages I stood by you, a dark guardian swept by shadow
Always I whispered in your ear the secrets to keep you safe
For you are my charge and my life's work, my one treasure.

I kept the sands of time from your visage, refused to let you age
The years passed and still decay could never touch you
Although all around you withered and died, you never came to harm.

I sacrificed it all for you, no regrets, no sorrow over what was lost
And for this I never asked thanks, only that one day you would see me there.
Yet you would spare not a single glance into my shadows, was I too well concealed?

It would have seemed so, you never noticed even when I screamed for you.
Finally I came into your radiance, the light burned me but if you would see me I cared not.
Yet upon my appearance you showed me nothing but disgust, wishing me to simply vanish.

So vanish I did, back to my gloomy lair which darkness now overtook
You hate me yet I cannot let you fall as it would hurt even worse than your prosperity.
For you are still my charge, my life's work and one true treasure.

[Mena]

I really loved this piece. Don't hate me for saying this, but it reminded me of Phantom of the Opera in a twisted sort of way.