Post by Injin on Feb 17, 2016 2:56:40 GMT -5
Character 1
Despite being a well-known and renowned scholar, he's an adventurous, risk-taking, somewhat self-destructive type. When he’s comfortable, he’s a lighthearted, comedic, antihero kind of character who approaches life playfully and doesn't take like too seriously. When he’s uncomfortable, however, he can be highly opinionated and responds very poorly to authority, and reacts to crises by becoming cold and selfish, and is terribly stubborn to a fault. He can seem unemotional and detached to others, but this selfishness is more of a self-preservation tactic, and he is capable of being a very fierce, devoted, loyal friend.
His adventurousness and risk-taking culminates in self-destructive tendencies, and he's fond of using both drugs and magic to escape reality. He's the kind of character who a mage might describe as "spending too much floating in the ether". Unsurprisingly, he’s an unstable character, whose actions can be difficult to predict and adapt to the circumstances around him. In a library, he might become a thriving intellectual, and in the mountains, he might meditate under the stars. He’s the kind of guy who will save the day by skillfully and cleverly solving the dilemma facing his comrades, but will follow this by retreating back into his own world -- as good at getting them into trouble as getting them out of it. At any given moment, he might be spouting weird philosophies and be high or drunk, or he might be engaging in highly intellectual conversation. He’s not grounded in anything, and to a fault. He’s striving toward mysticism and spiritual heights, but at the same time can be quite self-centered and readily indulges in food and drink and sex. He’s constantly trying to push the envelope, but falls back to the superficial. From his perspective, he’s wobbling between achieving the mage's ideal of transcending convetnions and living in a world where he fully embraces every moment for what it is.
Character 2
A little more old-fashioned, a little more level-head, and a little more self-aware than his best friend. On the surface, he's a large, powerful, intimidating character and on a movie poster, might appear to be the "dumb bodyguard" to contrast the protagonist. In fact, he's something of a jack-of-all-trades. While it's true that he's got the pragmatic, practical skills necessary to get by, beneath his gruff exterior is a nuanced character who rivals the protagonist in intelligence and has a variety of interests and hobbies. Very well-learned and cultured, he's the owner of the caravan, along with the plants inside of it, which he cares for meticulously. He's stoic, calm, and centered, and keeps the group on the rails when they begin to stray.
He also happens to be a professional criminal. As the protagonist has a tendency of blowing through all of his funding within a fortnight, much of their travel is fueled by Character 2's skills as a conman, thief, trafficker of stolen and 'exotic' goods, and bounty hunter. He is motivated by a complex borderline-Randian disregard for conventional morality, and strong politics, which straddle the line between sympathetic and evil (it's easy to agree with him about the injustices inherent in medieval class and economic systems -- it's harder to agree with his willingness to kill on behalf of a shady criminal syndicate). His work provides the money, the caravan, and the connections necessary to secure their journeys, but at the cost of sometimes getting them into quite a lot of shit.
EDIT: Drop the 'criminal' and just leave the 'bounty hunter' - emphasize his 'straight man' role prioritizing law, order, and structure and lose the criminal neuroses.
Character 3
The odd-girl out. A new and somewhat disruptive addition to what was previously a duo, she's something of a gypsy with mysterious origins that seem to change every time she tells them. At first, she strikes one as a tomboy. She's rough around the edges (as any girl surviving largely on her own would have to be in a world like this) and has clearly seen, and personally dealt with, her fair share of rough shit -- but still lurking beneath the surface is something of a girly-girl, and when she's given the rare opportunity to indulge in that, she at least makes an attempt to take it. She's brighter and more energetic and optimistic than the other two, and rather than Arcanism, prescribes to her own variant of Orthodoxy. While the protagonist's magic is methodological and geometric, hers is fluid and organic. It takes the form of a strange natural luck she seems to carry with her, when the universe seems to simply bend in her favor, and more explicitly, in her storytelling.
Her storytelling is hypnotic and unearthly, and her tales are brought to vivid life in strange and subtle ways when she tells them. Gathering stories and meeting people with tales to share seems to be her primary motivation in the world (and there's a sense that her love for stories may come from her long-lost parents, another shady and possibly sad party of her backstory). She manages to tag along, initially, my evoking the pity of Character 2, who despite his gruffness and immorality, has a soft underbelly of fatherly instincts toward her. She wins her security and permanency in the group my impressing Character 1 with her unusual magics. While she trails a bit behind the other two in terms of learnedness, she's got a "street smart" cleverness to her that outshines both of them at times, and she quickly proves herself useful to both of their endeavors: she's naturally skilled at finding interesting stories and culture for Character 1, and her self-sufficiency over the years has made her a talented companion-in-crime to Character 2. She's accompanied by a pet cat.
Injin break down time
Erm. I mean.
Lets go about this one sentence or so at a time. I apologize ahead of time for being a harsh, judgmental asshole.
First off, Dr. Professor Philosophical Mage
Despite being a well-known and renowned scholar, he's an adventurous, risk-taking, somewhat self-destructive type.
Good base for a character. Man's Magical Indiana Jones. What is he like when he's not going on said adventure, I wonder?
When he’s comfortable, he’s a lighthearted, comedic, antihero kind of character who approaches life playfully and doesn't take like too seriously.
I promise that is the last time I use gifs in this post. Seriously though, guy keeps sounding like Magical Indian Jones. Perhaps with less snark and less heaviness/ intense secret sadness.
When he’s uncomfortable, however, he can be highly opinionated and responds very poorly to authority, and reacts to crises by becoming cold and selfish, and is terribly stubborn to a fault.
Okay Pete, this is getting freaking ridiculous.
He can seem unemotional and detached to others, but this selfishness is more of a self-preservation tactic, and he is capable of being a very fierce, devoted, loyal friend.
Perhaps I'm seeing this more than it actually is, but it really does seem like you built Magical Indiana Jones. Lets hope Paragraph Two tells us more to differentiate him.
His adventurousness and risk-taking culminates in self-destructive tendencies, and he's fond of using both drugs and magic to escape reality.
Ah, weakness. Good to have one right out of the gate. Try to avoid making it too debilitating, unless you want an episode or two where he's useless...well, that actually sounds pretty cool.
He's the kind of character who a mage might describe as "spending too much floating in the ether".
The aloof adventurous Druggy-Scholar. Pie in the sky type of dude philosophically, yet it doesn't clash too terribly with his personality. Digging a little into yourself for this, I see.
Unsurprisingly, he’s an unstable character, whose actions can be difficult to predict and adapt to the circumstances around him.
Unsurprisingly indeed. Difficult to predict for the reader, the environment he's in, or even himself? Does he know what he's going to do next?
In a library, he might become a thriving intellectual, and in the mountains, he might meditate under the stars.
Super Adaptatron. Kind of Zens into whatever place he's in. What if he's in a place where he can't get comfortable? I'm interested in seeing that.
He’s the kind of guy who will save the day by skillfully and cleverly solving the dilemma facing his comrades, but will follow this by retreating back into his own world -- as good at getting them into trouble as getting them out of it.
"Ah yes, I've saved us. Time to get high off my ass and piss off the local rabble. What do you mean, you need me to watch your ass while we pass through dangerous territory. Pfft, I'm sleepy"
At any given moment, he might be spouting weird philosophies and be high or drunk, or he might be engaging in highly intellectual conversation.
I'm starting to see a pattern. Its not necessarily a good one. He's TOO interesting. Everyone wants snippets of the Most Interesting Man in the World, they don't want to see a movie of it.
He’s not grounded in anything, and to a fault. He’s striving toward mysticism and spiritual heights, but at the same time can be quite self-centered and readily indulges in food and drink and sex. He’s constantly trying to push the envelope, but falls back to the superficial.
But can he get the latter though? I'm guessing it'll either be impossible or easy depending on his mood. I think this might be a problem. You want your character to be grounded in something. Something solid in some circumstance.
From his perspective, he’s wobbling between achieving the mage's ideal of transcending conventions and living in a world where he fully embraces every moment for what it is.
Okay then, last sentence of description. Some people are vast. Other people are a Charbythine Abyss. I'm starting to think that while this is an intriguing character, there's just too much about him to be a solid base of the story if its behind him the entire time. Good thing you have the trio.
Character 2: Mr. Jones, Bounty Hunter
A little more old-fashioned, a little more level-head, and a little more self-aware than his best friend.
Our story's grounding character. Nice to see him.
On the surface, he's a large, powerful, intimidating character and on a movie poster, might appear to be the "dumb bodyguard" to contrast the protagonist. In fact, he's something of a jack-of-all-trades.
Can't he be a little dumb at times? Or can they both be a little dumb at times? Good to have a skeleton key around, but he has to have some weakness to exploit for narrative purposes. Judging too fast, lets keep going.
While it's true that he's got the pragmatic, practical skills necessary to get by, beneath his gruff exterior is a nuanced character who rivals the protagonist in intelligence and has a variety of interests and hobbies.
So, a Gangster who quotes Shakespeare. The question, however, is how you present this nuance. It's difficult sometimes to get this right. I know I can't seem to.
Very well-learned and cultured, he's the owner of the caravan, along with the plants inside of it, which he cares for meticulously. He's stoic, calm, and centered, and keeps the group on the rails when they begin to stray.
Except, I imagine, when it comes to his food stocks.
He also happens to be a
Speaking to your edit, happens to be a Bounty Hunter is an interesting way of adding a needed moral ground opposite Drug Wizzzzzard.
He is motivated by a complex borderline-Randian disregard for conventional morality, and strong politics, which straddle the line between sympathetic and evil (it's easy to agree with him about the injustices inherent in medieval class and economic systems -- it's harder to agree with his willingness to kill on behalf of a shady criminal syndicate).
This can still apply somewhat despite the criminality removal. Bounty Hunters don't always ask questions.
His work provides the money, the caravan, and the connections necessary to secure their journeys, but at the cost of sometimes getting them into quite a lot of shit.
So, unlike Drug Wizzzzzzard, this guy is solidly on his feet. Perhaps a bit too much. I think his solidness should also be reflected in a different sort of stubbornness, maybe a purposeful ignorance about some of the things his best friend deals with. Overly protective of his botany project. Maybe even something he reveals over time that'll break our hearts. Still, him being more human than the first guy is important. At least, seeming more human. Because that's what we are, after all.
More Human that the First Guy.
Character 3: More Human than the First Guy, aka Roma Runaway
The odd-girl out. A new and somewhat disruptive addition to what was previously a duo, she's something of a gypsy with mysterious origins that seem to change every time she tells them. At first, she strikes one as a tomboy.
We keep getting more human with these characters. [Redacted]An interesting take on the character so far, I'm interested in seeing her further flesh out. She being the Eternal Liar to the Out There Dude n Straight Man is a good addition to the mix.
She's rough around the edges (as any girl surviving largely on her own would have to be in a world like this) and has clearly seen, and personally dealt with, her fair share of rough shit -- but still lurking beneath the surface is something of a girly-girl, and when she's given the rare opportunity to indulge in that, she at least makes an attempt to take it.
Smart thing to do with the character is tease out this "girliness" for as long as you can before showing a full scene where she temporarily embraces her softer side. Maybe she becomes softer over time, maybe she stays the same. Your call, really.
She's brighter and more energetic and optimistic than the other two, and rather than Arcanism, prescribes to her own variant of Orthodoxy.
Theological Debate, Oh! Geospherism perhaps, something more focused on the planet they reside in?
While the protagonist's magic is methodological and geometric, hers is fluid and organic.
She can do magic *cue music*. Seriously, Protagonist's is methodological and Geometric? I'm going to have to dispute that based on your earlier description of his mind. Perhaps it still makes sense, in that his mind is chaotic but his processes are purely logical, but it seems that claiming it to be geometric might not be the best term. Interested in seeing where she learned magic and why its so fluid.
It takes the form of a strange natural luck she seems to carry with her, when the universe seems to simply bend in her favor, and more explicitly, in her storytelling.
Ooooh. So she's essentially The Bard. I'm curious to see where this goes, honestly, but I think you should try to avoid her being TOO lucky. I am sure you can straddle that line a little better than I fear you might not be able to.
Her storytelling is hypnotic and unearthly, and her tales are brought to vivid life in strange and subtle ways when she tells them. Gathering stories and meeting people with tales to share seems to be her primary motivation in the world (and there's a sense that her love for stories may come from her long-lost parents, another shady and possibly sad party of her backstory). No spoilers, dude. I think maybe having the focus of her storytelling be as purely emotional as you can write it. This is the one place she can let go of all that tension, if only for a moment. She can breathe. She can speak, unfettered.
She manages to tag along, initially, my evoking the pity of Character 2, who despite his gruffness and immorality, has a soft underbelly of fatherly instincts toward her. She wins her security and permanency in the group my impressing Character 1 with her unusual magics.
Pitymancy is every scamp's way into your heart. Can't make it too saccharine, but I have a feeling that she'll need to impress a third person who is temporarily with the party in order to make the trifecta of impressment a little easier to swallow. Good things come in threes.
While she trails a bit behind the other two in terms of learnedness, she's got a "street smart" cleverness to her that outshines both of them at times, and she quickly proves herself useful to both of their endeavors: she's naturally skilled at finding interesting stories and culture for Character 1, and her self-sufficiency over the years has made her a talented companion-in-crime to Character 2.
Might contrast to Character 2's street smarts in a different way, you'll have to weasel that out. As mentioned, C2 is no longer a criminal, so perhaps being a 1-2 punch to get their bills paid might be a good contribution. She needs to easily impress herself into a scene, she should almost never be awkward.
She's accompanied by a pet cat.
Make it a ferret.
Seriously though, out of the three I would want to read a novel about this character more than the other two. Right now I think you've left the first two characters a little too untethered and without pasts and that harms the way that they are portrayed here far worse than their character eccentricities. I think right now you need to pull all of these characters a little closer to the earth than they currently are, especially C1. Unlike the other two, I'm finding a lot more to like with her than to dislike. However, there's still the whole "Weakness not really weakness" vibe I'm getting from her and the other characters. Right now, yes, you are at the barebones stage, but the first two feel more cartoonish than they should be, somehow. I'm liking where this is headed.
