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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Jul 10, 2012 8:57:03 GMT -5
Kind of, but I think it was more just "It's been a thousand years. I'm lonely and sad. I'm going to lose my mind now." It was vanilla insanity, rather than any special quirk unique to AIs. If I was ripping off anything it was definitely Portal, not Halo. I think some of the lines near the end actually ended up very GLaDOS-like. I wanted to ask, did the little through-lines in the story work for everyone? I deliberately repeated certain phrases and themes because I wanted them to be like straws that the protagonist was grasping at as she lost her mind. Like the references to IQ and birthday parties and Pinocchio. |
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Mena
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Post by Mena on Jul 10, 2012 14:04:09 GMT -5
Okay, I won't say that I sucked, but I do agree with my issues with using proper commas and such. I've always struggled and I should have let my husband edit it for me because he is excellent in such matters.
Not sure about this next round, I have guests here for about a week.
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Post by James on Jul 10, 2012 15:15:57 GMT -5
I wanted to ask, did the little through-lines in the story work for everyone? I deliberately repeated certain phrases and themes because I wanted them to be like straws that the protagonist was grasping at as she lost her mind. Like the references to IQ and birthday parties and Pinocchio. Aye. I think it was pretty clear what you were using them for, and that they worked. Okay, I won't say that I sucked, but I do agree with my issues with using proper commas and such. I've always struggled and I should have let my husband edit it for me because he is excellent in such matters. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Grammar is my weakest point as well. On that note, while I would love to get 12+ entries for this round. I'm setting the forum's target of 8 entries. Let's try not to have a really high turnover, and also hopefully a few new people will write... as the prophecy foretold. |
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Allya
Senior Scribe
My Little Monster!
Posts: 2,271
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Post by Allya on Jul 10, 2012 15:54:23 GMT -5
I'm immensely satisfied with a score of 17 for what was essentially a mind-dump.
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Post by Injin on Jul 10, 2012 16:18:39 GMT -5
My score of 15 wasn't disappointing either. Lower than I expected, but not disappointing.
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Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Jul 10, 2012 16:23:18 GMT -5
My score of 15 wasn't disappointing either. Lower than I expected, but not disappointing. disappointing /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntɪ©¯/ [dis-uh-poin-ting] adjective: failing to fulfill one's hopes or expectations: a disappointing movie; a disappointing marriage. www.dictionary.com |
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Allya
Senior Scribe
My Little Monster!
Posts: 2,271
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Post by Allya on Jul 10, 2012 16:31:35 GMT -5
I'm considering a city of the dead, if only because it's so sunny outside.
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Post by Sekot on Jul 10, 2012 16:34:19 GMT -5
I have an actual idea, but I was saving it for my actual story and I'm reluctant to share. Though having the opportunity to test it as an idea might not be too bad.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2012 19:40:48 GMT -5
My sentences were supposed to be uncomfortably long. Like the walk the people were on. So, mission accomplished in that regard! Was kind of going for that thing often you see in poetry, where the structure and the content match.
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Post by Kaez on Jul 10, 2012 19:51:33 GMT -5
My sentences were supposed to be uncomfortably long. Like the walk the people were on. So, mission accomplished in that regard! Was kind of going for that thing often you see in poetry, where the structure and the content match. I dig that. |
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Post by Injin on Jul 10, 2012 21:21:06 GMT -5
My score of 15 wasn't disappointing either. Lower than I expected, but not disappointing. disappointing /ˌdɪsəˈpɔɪntɪ©¯/ [dis-uh-poin-ting] adjective: failing to fulfill one's hopes or expectations: a disappointing movie; a disappointing marriage. www.dictionary.comNow THAT is disappointing. My hope was to get at least 15 or at the most, 19. |
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Post by JMDavis ((Silver)) on Jul 10, 2012 22:40:08 GMT -5
Just had a thought. Maybe we should catalog older Challenge threads in the Monthly Assignment board or something? Wanted to go searching through older threads and just now realizing I gotta fight through a bunch of other threads to find 'em all.
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Post by James on Jul 10, 2012 22:49:00 GMT -5
Just had a thought. Maybe we should catalog older Challenge threads in the Monthly Assignment board or something? Wanted to go searching through older threads and just now realizing I gotta fight through a bunch of other threads to find 'em all. Done. I made a sub-board in the Lounge. |
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Post by Sekot on Jul 11, 2012 0:26:50 GMT -5
I have an actual idea, but I was saving it for my actual story and I'm reluctant to share. Though having the opportunity to test it as an idea might not be too bad. Ugh, I can't do it. Its a major reveal and I have to actually talk about the city before I can talk about The City. If that makes any sense. |
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Post by Kaez on Jul 12, 2012 19:22:01 GMT -5
Your story reminded me of 'Bubbles', Taed.
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