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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on May 9, 2012 14:36:54 GMT -5
Draw the line where you wish. Making use of the song title "Gateways" isn't a requirement and how you view/enjoy/use the song is totally up to you, the author. If you want to use "Gateways" as part of your story, I might be interested. It really depends on what you want to do with it.
I went with a song that could go several ways. What you need to do is capture the moodiness of the song. If I can relate to the song while reading your story, then it's been a bloody good success.
Yes, this topic is difficult.
Also, reviews are up.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2012 17:19:33 GMT -5
Thank you, Reffy. The paragraph problems are purely because Word doesn't play nice with the forum and I didn't go back to look at it to edit it.
Though I have to tell you, you gave Agro 18 points, but my points aren't totaled up. There's just a "--". I mention Agro's score because you put him at 17 pts on the leader boards.
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Post by James on May 9, 2012 17:23:51 GMT -5
Thank you, Reffy. The paragraph problems are purely because Word doesn't play nice with the forum and I didn't go back to look at it to edit it. Though I have to tell you, you gave Agro 18 points, but my points aren't totaled up. There's just a "--". I mention Agro's score because you put him at 17 pts on the leader boards. The total is actually 17, though. I lost three marks. So the leaderboard is correct, just my own total is wrong, which isn't too important. |
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Post by JMDavis ((Silver)) on May 9, 2012 19:59:13 GMT -5
Didn't do much description... but the tower with the corpses and the ship were supposed to be from the image >_>
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2012 21:57:47 GMT -5
I am seriously in awe that I got the most points for that.  |
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Woeful
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Post by Woeful on May 9, 2012 22:05:12 GMT -5
Thank you for the review. This is one of the first times I have attempted to write a short story so I am completely pleased with the result. I had a blast creating Grace. She went through a huge transformation from Thursday to yesterday. I was never really pleased with the beginning and went with the minimalistic approach to get to the parts that interested me. One of the reasons for doing this was to get me out of my comfort zone and improve my grammar and word usage. I can see the difference from the beginning to the end.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 9, 2012 22:05:19 GMT -5
I am seriously in awe that I got the most points for that. Well, you did something different, something creative. It dealt directly with all objects in the picture. You didn't have any grammar problems and Reffy enjoyed it. u dun gud |
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Mena
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Post by Mena on May 10, 2012 0:34:23 GMT -5
The music conjures visions of Vampyres and damsels in distress.
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2012 1:14:40 GMT -5
A little background for my Gateways story: based on a DnD dungeon I made for my group about a year ago, "The Tomb of Kerakeled." Takes place in my own constructed fantasy setting, so any references will likely seem either nonsensical or irrelevant.
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on May 10, 2012 2:01:05 GMT -5
The music conjures visions of Vampyres and damsels in distress. I know right! I get so many visions of so many things. I'm trying not to talk about it here because it could influence stories >.< Heh Also, please accept my sincerest apologies about the maths mix-up. I dropped the bomb there. It should now show correctly! (Also-also, Silv! I kinda knew the tower was sort of that but it didn't really feel like it or fit. Not saying it's a bad story though! You should do what Croswynd did, for sure.) Glad you enjoyed the venture out side of your comfort zone as well, Woeful. I still love the idea you had and how you left it hanging. Where were you going to take it? What was the deal with the picture? Why did I feel like he never even stepped into the house? With a little work you could turn it into a full short story here like some of the others do. |
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Post by James on May 10, 2012 2:13:04 GMT -5
I think I might give this round a miss. I'm not really struck by the piece of that music anymore than any other piece of music.
... and I kind of already did the whole 'based off a song' in the last round too.
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Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on May 10, 2012 2:49:23 GMT -5
The music conjures visions of Vampyres and damsels in distress. I know right! I get so many visions of so many things. Funny, because all I can conjure are memorys from the Dimmu Borgir show I went to back in '04. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 10, 2012 2:53:34 GMT -5
The music conjures visions of Vampyres and damsels in distress. I know right! I get so many visions of so many things. I'm trying not to talk about it here because it could influence stories >.< Heh Also, please accept my sincerest apologies about the maths mix-up. I dropped the bomb there. It should now show correctly! (Also-also, Silv! I kinda knew the tower was sort of that but it didn't really feel like it or fit. Not saying it's a bad story though! You should do what Croswynd did, for sure.) Glad you enjoyed the venture out side of your comfort zone as well, Woeful. I still love the idea you had and how you left it hanging. Where were you going to take it? What was the deal with the picture? Why did I feel like he never even stepped into the house? With a little work you could turn it into a full short story here like some of the others do. What'd I do? |
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Woeful
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Nothing witty here
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Post by Woeful on May 10, 2012 10:10:50 GMT -5
I hope this explanation is not longer than the story itself.
Initially I spent a good five minutes staring at the picture trying to pick a story thread. Frankly nothing came to mind. The subject picture screamed steam punk. But I am ill equipped to write a story entirely in the steam punk genre. That said I knew that I wanted to write about people and I wanted the scene to focus on two characters, and decided to take a step back and focus on the picture itself.
The idea of the book store was to introduce 'Grace' and drive some tension into the story. I hope that it was clear that Grace knows something about Colin. I dropped the hint that she may have orchestrated the whole trip. I also thought that it might be cool to have 'Grace's' eyes match the smoke of the picture add a bit of mystery and increase the tension. A second idea that I wanted to get across was a suspension of time. In the store, the customers thin out and the clerks disappear. The action then takes place within a few inches of Colin's face. The idea was to create a tiny time bubble around 'Grace' so that she could influence Colin and ultimately convince a total stranger to walk 20 blocks in the rain to her 'house.' The seduction served as the simple means to the end. Pretty much an any guy's fantasy moment.
Once in the brownstone, the steam punk elements are little more prevalent. That took a bit of research. The ship's bells serve to conjure that the brownstone is not what it appears to be, and might be a vessel of sorts. I hoped to convey that 'Grace' was not in her place and time. I dropped back and hinted at it in the book store and then carried it through. I also wanted her to be otherworldly and empower her to act shamelessly and overtly, so she could be free. Her interrogation could be magical, psychic or hypnosis depending on your particular bend. I wanted it to be the reader's choice. I liked the hypnosis idea, it matches better with an early 1900's vibe and the psychic overlay had a magical feel to it to better sell the time travel/realm travel notion. Colin's waking up outside was more a trick to bring the story to an end. I had said everything I needed to say about 'Grace' at that point. I was sending Colin home for now at least. Getting him soaking wet in the rain (falling from the heavens as it were) and the water boarding with holy water was probably more obscure than it needed to be.
So what to do about the painting and why is it important? When I set up the painting in this way, it became the million dollar question. My idea, subject to change without notice, is that the painting is an accurate depiction of a future event (too accurate). The existence of the painting sets the future event in concrete, so that either good or bad consequences are certain to occur. 'Grace's' mission is to find the picture and unlock the future event (or perhaps decide not to unlock the event). The story would continue as a bread crumb trail. Grace is certain to find the picture. Along the way, she might "bump" into an alpha male character that leads her astray. She may have to have a little sex along way. That decision is dependent upon whether the scene would serve to pull the story along and tell us something about both characters.
The next scene is to introduce the male lead, have the reader learn about him and set up the first meeting between our male lead and 'Grace'. I am pretty sure that a wealthy Italian eccentric with a obsession for nudes wants a painting and our male lead might have need of a model. If this plot and story were to stay a short story, then the painting is not far away. If the next couple of scenes mixed well and the tension was right, the bread crumbs could lead to more twists and turns. At this point I haven't decided whether 'Nigel' (the working name until I can come up with a better one) is going to help or hinder 'Grace' (a false name btw) The only thing for certain is he is from our world and our time and has a peculiar artistic gift. The ability to make perfect counterfeit art.
Nigel might have the picture (or a counterfeit) upstairs. Grace may shag him for a chance to take a look around. Nigel might have sold the painting (or a counterfeit) to a street vendor in Rome. Rome is sexy by definition, so insert shag moment or not. Or he might have given the painting or another counterfeit to to his mother. Meet the family fall in love or hate the family double cross back stab. I am not sure where it goes. The idea of a romance, an erotic paranormal romance or something in between has my attention and I am dutifully following it and learning to write fiction along the way.
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Woeful
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Post by Woeful on May 10, 2012 10:42:19 GMT -5
Oh, and the music is really a challenge. To me it conjures series of fight or chase scenes between two equally matched combatants. The changes in the tempo represent the various fights or chases. The interludes are dialog and/or scene changes.
If I were to really jump outside the box, I see really complex poetry. Doing something like that is way above my head.
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