Allya's Stuff

[Allya]

Temperature

I tell you I am cold.
You tell me to wear socks.
I can put more on, you say.
But you can't take more off.

You are right. I can indeed wear more.

[Kaez]

'Temperature' is much more my style than your other stuff. The others are all very good, you're one of the best poets on this site without a doubt, but the whole tone of 'Temperature' fits my taste in things. Good stuff.

[Allya]

Thanks my husband loved 'Temperature.' It made him chuckle which was helpful because after I read him 'Hide and Seek' he was kind of upset. He's always known I'm agnostic but never quite understood and/or thought about what that meant. 'Hide and Seek' made him think about it and he didn't like it.

He said in his mind we're standing in the middle of an earthquake, things are falling off the shelves and I'm looking around saying "What earthquake?" I told him that in my mind I'm watching him jump up and down causing, things to fall off the shelves and claiming it's an earthquake. It looks ridiculous. It was a good analogy on his part though. I might steal it.

[Kaez]

Apr 16, 2011 7:40:38 GMT -5 Allya said:

He said in his mind we're standing in the middle of an earthquake, things are falling off the shelves and I'm looking around saying "What earthquake?" I told him that in my mind I'm watching him jump up and down causing, things to fall off the shelves and claiming it's an earthquake. It looks ridiculous. It was a good analogy on his part though. I might steal it.

As an agnostic-turned-atheist, I approve of this whole thing here.

[Allya]

Looks like The Right Eyed Deer likes my short Temperature poem for their Best of Flash poetry edition coming out in a few months. I wrote that one doped up on migraine meds and no sleep. Crazy world.

[Jenny (Reffy)]

Apr 17, 2011 11:52:33 GMT -5 Allya said:

Looks like The Right Eyed Deer likes my short Temperature poem for their Best of Flash poetry edition coming out in a few months. I wrote that one doped up on migraine meds and no sleep. Crazy world.

FRACKING CONGRATS!!!! Awesomesauce.

(I put a link on my blog today to this thread for my readers, in case they fancied actually reading something! I gave you a little grats there as well. Hope you don't mind.)

[Allya]

Aw thanks that's very nice

I can't believe my luck this month!

[Jenny (Reffy)]

It all tends to happen at once, huh? XD I had two pieces accepted for publication within the same week.

[Allya]

I had a conversation with a lady I work with on Friday. She told me she doesn't go to the third floor of her house because her mother's ghost is there. She says she doesn't go home until late because she doesn't like to be at home with her memories. She is an older lady who has very much reaped what she has sowed in life but I still empathize. Speaking with her made me write the following:


Third Floor

I don’t go up to the third floor anymore
Your shadow is watching from the stair
Haunted by memories
Visions of you and me
You’ve long since exhaled but your spectre still breathes

I closed my heart off with the door
Still I hear you moving up there
Dust may be gathering
Time slowly unraveling
Thoughts are so fleeting but you’re still with me

As I sit here all alone
Weighted by the past
I feel the world, it’s moving on
Reality slipping from grasp

So
I
Don’t go to the third floor anymore
Don’t care what you’re doing up there
Senses can lie to me
I’ll make sure that I don’t see
You are so easy to ignore
If
I
Don’t go to the third floor anymore

[Allya]

Dementia

Ghosts of faces and memories gone
So you tell me you know me
Who am I when all my thoughts have moved on
When I’m left a remnant, so lonely

If I had a life filled with laughter and love
Tell me why can’t I remember
Sifting through ashes to find some proof of
A fire, a spark, an ember

You may never stand in the same river twice
Still I swear I’ve been here before
Bracing the current, weary from fight
Unable to reach either shore

I watch the sunrise and watch the sun set
While memory time is erasing
Wishing for memories I longed to forget
What happens if I stop chasing

Trying to catch moonlight in my hands
You weep for my confusion
Maybe I’m better off in a land
Where fantasy replaces delusion

You may never stand in the same river twice
But I swear I’ve been here before
Drifting further away from the light
Still never touching the shore

Who am I when all my thoughts have moved on
When I’m left a remnant, so lonely
Ghosts of faces and memories gone
So you tell me you know me

[Kaez]

I enjoyed both of these. With Third Floor, I liked how it occasionally took on a sort of dismissive tone, especially toward the end with lines like "don't care what you're doing up there" and "you are so easy to ignore".

The word "you're" in the second line should be "your".

With Dementia, I found myself reading it as though it was a song. It felt song-like to me, and I'm not exactly sure why. I don't really have much to say about it other than, "I liked it." It escapes my ability to really pinpoint what it is that works or doesn't work.

Keep posting things. :]

[Allya]

Thanks for catching that Kaez. I'm still thinking about Dementia. I don't think I'm done with that one yet. I wanted to end the way I began bu I think I can put more in the middle. And yea I love the way some things sound like songs...too bad I'm terrible at coming up with an original tune!

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

I was gonna point out the you're/your thing; but I didn't want to Kurt Loder ya.

[Allya]

Lol. Nah I appreciate stuff like that. No one can catch all their mistakes!

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

Apr 25, 2011 15:25:02 GMT -5 Allya said:

Lol. Nah I appreciate stuff like that. No one can catch all their mistakes!

I'm just pleased you understood the reference.