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Post by James on Dec 2, 2010 15:51:31 GMT -5
oh god help
im bleeding
no really i am
dont laugh
its not funny
oh god fuck
im gonna die
why wont you help
you know
this is negligence
or something
seriously
fucking help me
for the love of all
Oh, wait a second
this tastes rather good.
A nice tangy touch that
would go well with chips.
Coating them with that
extra delightful kick.
God?
Why is there ketchup on my sleeve? |
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Post by James on Dec 4, 2010 0:26:25 GMT -5
My Generation?
I think I was born
in the wrong generation.
I have nothing in common
with these people around me.
Perhaps I was lost in time,
or mistakenly picked the wrong stop.
I suppose as a travelling soul,
you do not have the greatest sense of time.
I do not understand the way,
these plebeians speak,
the sounds they make
do not suggest words.
They have strange tastes,
from vile tongue assaulting foods,
to the strange reoccurring beats
they attempt to call music.
I am a foreigner
in my own generation,
lost to the world
within a grim torment.
Look at the girl next to me,
wearing clothes I’ll never understand.
I bet her head is filled with thoughts
of pathetic gossip and slang.
I wonder what it would feel like
to be apart of my own generation?
I wonder if I would even understand
what she is thinking?
Excuse miss, if I may ask,
what thoughts run through your head?
What strands of knowledge form like
mists within your skull?
Pardon, je ne parle pas Anglais. [/b][/blockquote] |
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Dec 4, 2010 4:03:12 GMT -5
Agro, LOVED "My Generation?" :] There really isn't much I can say as to improving. I liked the wandering thoughts and the easy read it was and the ending which really just summed it up. I think its a very "thinking-man's" piece ... even if you did clarify with the ending.
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Post by James on Dec 4, 2010 4:59:41 GMT -5
I think its a very "thinking-man's" piece ... even if you did clarify with the ending. Really? I thought it's one of the most straight-forward ones I've written since I restarted writing poetry. I always find that so amusing with this genre. |
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Post by athelstan on Dec 6, 2010 19:52:54 GMT -5
My Generation?
I think I was born
in the wrong generation.
I have nothing in common
with these people around me.
Perhaps I was lost in time,
or mistakenly picked the wrong stop.
I suppose as a travelling soul,
you do not have the greatest sense of time.
I do not understand the way,
these plebeians speak,
the sounds they make
do not suggest words.
They have strange tastes,
from vile tongue assaulting foods,
to the strange reoccurring beats
they attempt to call music.
I am a foreigner
in my own generation,
lost to the world
within a grim torment.
Look at the girl next to me,
wearing clothes I’ll never understand.
I bet her head is filled with thoughts
of pathetic gossip and slang.
I wonder what it would feel like
to be apart of my own generation?
I wonder if I would even understand
what she is thinking?
Excuse miss, if I may ask,
what thoughts run through your head?
What strands of knowledge form like
mists within your skull?
Pardon, je ne parle pas Anglais. [/b][/blockquote] [/quote] This reminds me of Oswald Spengler. The definite tone of the mourning of the fall of the Western culture is there, as well as a feeling of alien-spirit. I am acutely familiar with this situation. Actually it almost sounds like it has a gnostic taste to it. A feeling of the world as a Lie and the search for something more authentic beyond it. |
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Post by James on Dec 6, 2010 23:50:26 GMT -5
when mother mary
watched with glee
as the black horse
and the wisemen
cleaned out their closet
she gave to me
bodies in the cemetery
i know theyre watching
sending out an sos
when you say nothing at all
suddenly i see
im not afraid of dying
let this boy die like a man
sticks and stones can break my bones
but i swear it was in self-defence
okay gotta go now
they want me in court
apparently for plagiarism
free society, huh?
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Post by James on Dec 9, 2010 22:51:43 GMT -5
I'm Just a Painter
no its meant to be like that
the ugly lines across your forehead
ghastly decolouration of the skin
teeth missing or yellowed
hair rapidly retreating from the view
what do you mean you dont look like that
you have the same dead green eyes
gaping chasms to match the scarring of your cheeks
black tongue slipping like the reptile you are
several warts resting heinously under your eyes
how cannot you not like the portrait sir
all the effort in capturing your depravity
the haughty coldness of your cheeks
the dreadful fury of your fangs
the hideous appearance of your soul
fine dont pay for it
what do i know
im just a painter
goodbye mr gray
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Post by J.O.N ((Dragonwing)) on Dec 10, 2010 4:42:05 GMT -5
Loved the Painter. *thumbs up*
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Post by theredbaron on Dec 13, 2010 17:11:49 GMT -5
^ Quite well and good there, Agro.
I got the feeling at the beginning that it would be another cliche love poem, and then you ruin that mood with wonderful witty words and phrases. I didn't understand if he liked the girl or not in the end, but hey, who cares? Quite nice, 'feller. ;D
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Post by James on Dec 23, 2010 1:27:46 GMT -5
on a dark star
i look off the edge of eternity
and eternity looks back at me
wizened hunched decaying
dreams lay shatter at its feet
but medals of success cling to a smile
gleaming shining victorious
a compromise holds the body together
the figure upright and yet sagging
proud tired undefeated
death will arrive shortly
robed and garbed in the nights sky
cruel kind welcomed
a sense of achievement floods me
glad for this chance to see
successes losses no-score-draws
although
thank rach this ain’t a mirror
i got a way to go
and a lot to do
happiness work family
joy sadness experiences
life life life
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Post by James on Jan 30, 2011 19:47:52 GMT -5
end of next month
ill be done
i promise
actually wait
not done
but quite close
seventy five per cent
at the least
probably
except if something very
important
arrives soon
lets say that my
birthdays
a deadline
that should give me
enough time
i suspect
unless
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Post by James on Feb 14, 2011 3:57:29 GMT -5
And I see…
A silver orb
within the sky.
A blind spot
in the darkness.
Grey tumourous masses,
marring beautifully
the glinting shining
fifty pence coin.
Until the sly wolf
fishes it up with its tail;
wolfing it down
in a single sorry tale.
Except the moon
still glints within the sky.
And the wolf
lies dead upon the grass.
who left the silver football
in the bloody lake?
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Post by James on Feb 15, 2011 18:46:37 GMT -5
A Special Offer
a guaranteed cure
to combat aging
one hundred percent effective
against wrinkles and dementia
quick and easy to apply
once done will last an eternity
open to all ages
and every blood type
the secret formula
is hereditary
only one side effect
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Post by James on Feb 17, 2011 3:25:04 GMT -5
Perspective
a house of broken promises
shattered dreams and lost souls
a home to liar and thieves
cutthroats replacing the innocent
a place of power-hungry fools
ignorant of the pain and suffering
a den to the ilk of our society
confident in their ability to control us
is this place parliament
no
its a prison
you idiot
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Mar 1, 2011 6:01:43 GMT -5
- The Painter Just awesome. Very spiteful and yet honest. Loved. - Soul Sister I was wondering wtf at the beginning ... a proper love poem? Glad you broke out of it! Heh. Actually, I love the "fun" that you poke at all the other love poems and how you picked it all apart. License/licence (Did you spell that right? ... Or are there just two spellings? My dyslexia is showing >.>) - On a Dark Star Interesting little poem. I liked the tempo that you set with it and the pattern with the three words at the end of each verse. I kinda wish you'd drawn out the last line a little (I read this out loud and actually did so without a prompt from your writing). A very sober piece. Definitely feels like running out of time and the march of the inevitable. - End of The Month *Snickers* ... Procrastination caught in a bottle? I enjoyed this one the most so far. - And I See ... That is all sorts of mind-fuckery. Reading it again ... but I don't think it will make much sense if I tried! Nice imagery though - if a little morbid. About pollution, maybe? Shrug. Weirdness but not un-enjoyable! - A Special Offer Very curious. Wishing you'd put more to this one ... what was the side-effect? Maybe I am missing something here. Feels like there should have been more to this one? - Perspective I giggled. Although, turning it on its head: it doesn't need to be prison either! There are liars and thieves, cutthroats, power-hungry fools, and ignorant twits - living in my very house and probably everybody else's too ..... ooooo - see that? Deep!  |
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