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Post by James on Nov 12, 2010 16:24:14 GMT -5
You're starting to sound like William Carlos Williams. ... WHY PETE?! WHY!?^ Weird back-handed compliment... or insult. Or a mix. I can see that many would regard these poems as excellent... I just don't really care for the style. Well, from about 17 onwards. ... as much as I hate to say it, I'm finding William Carlos Williams a lot less terrible than I used to. You'll be writing about a green shovel soon. |
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Post by Kaez on Nov 12, 2010 16:30:50 GMT -5
... as much as I hate to say it, I'm finding William Carlos Williams a lot less terrible than I used to. You'll be writing about a green shovel soon. Shut your horrible faceparts. |
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Post by James on Nov 12, 2010 16:32:33 GMT -5
You'll be writing about a green shovel soon. Shut your horrible faceparts. ^ Not many people know this, but a William Carlos Williams original. |
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Post by Kaez on Nov 12, 2010 16:37:02 GMT -5
Shut your horrible faceparts. ^ Not many people know this, but a William Carlos Williams original. lol'd |
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Post by Kaez on Nov 13, 2010 19:58:47 GMT -5
22.
i have come from faraway places
traveling over land
and over sea
i have fought many great battles
long and tiring
just to get here
i have spent countless months
braving weather
and terrible pain
my journey has finally culminated
right in this place
i have arrived
now so help me god
i am going to fuck your shit up |
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Post by Sekot on Nov 14, 2010 21:15:42 GMT -5
I always enjoy those few lines that completely change the tone of your piece. They're greatly amusing.
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Post by Kaez on Nov 14, 2010 22:31:46 GMT -5
Thanks a lot, Sekot. I've been toying with them quite a bit recently; they are fun. :]
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Post by Kaez on Nov 18, 2010 16:05:40 GMT -5
23.
the verbosity
of the silence
was overbearingly intricate
and the complexity
of the noiselessness
i would unsuccessfully hypothesize
and analyze
the composition
of the symmetry of your terminology
without considering
the unmistakably conspicuous
candor of your conscientiousness
that resounded
punctuated only by
the appreciably suggested exclamation you implied
the entirety of
this operation herein described
undertaken between the expressing of a pair of elementary syllables
you exhaled
virtually instinctively
with the fluidity of an individuality being suffocated relentlessly by the very oxygen it digested
so please try
to excuse the obtuseness
of my facial expression between the deliberate evaluation of your instantaneous hesitation between 'fuck' and 'you'
i was only attempting
to adequately decipher the
identical clandestine designations you so resoundingly are articulating i am incapable of fully comprehending or at the very least appreciating
but a doubtful conclusion
would be to somehow anticipate
that in your scurrilous reaction to the foreignness of my countenance you might ascertain the deliberations i am rigorously undergoing and thats the very definition of an ironical situation |
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Post by James on Nov 18, 2010 16:17:48 GMT -5
A new favourite.
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Post by Kaez on Dec 2, 2010 12:22:40 GMT -5
24.
dear girl at orange julius
when i saw you
i immediately began to comprise
a variety of metaphors
for your nonchalant good looks
i noticed the t-shirt you wore
had a band logo on it
i also like that band
and enjoy displaying my opinions
i will wear their shirt tomorrow
and will go to orange julius
and i will be both charming and witty
and you will find me very attractive
sincerely
your soulmate |
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Post by Kaez on Dec 22, 2010 17:49:36 GMT -5
25.
i view the scenery
through an old camera lens
the blues of lakewater
the greens of the spring pines
tinted the color of aging photo paper
and glazed with warm distortion
the world feels older than me
weathered and chipping away
and i imagine everyone's fading smiles
in photographed youths of themselves
the expressions on their sunwashed faces
echoing a less colorful eventuality
when tired hands will clasp the memories
that have long forfeited their emotion
when they will stare blankly at younger faces
and try to muster within them the feelings
that they thought they might have had
in the shallowness of a captured dimension
with laughter and youthful friends about me
i see them only with the eyes of their older selves
and wonder if my poorly feigned smile
is the reason I find no joy buried in old boxes
i will dismiss experience for evaluation
and years later find photos capturing nothingness
and in forgetful romanticising
wonder why that is |
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Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Dec 22, 2010 19:40:34 GMT -5
24.
dear girl at orange julius
when i saw you
i immediately began to comprise
a variety of metaphors
for your nonchalant good looks
i noticed the t-shirt you wore
had a band logo on it
i also like that band
and enjoy displaying my opinions
i will wear their shirt tomorrow
and will go to orange julius
and i will be both charming and witty
and you will find me very attractive
sincerely
your soulmate I feel like I've read this somewhere before. . . |
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Post by Kaez on Dec 22, 2010 19:57:46 GMT -5
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Post by ARSmith ((Wolfeh)) on Dec 23, 2010 0:45:27 GMT -5
I've always enjoyed your poetry and writing, Kaez. Keep up the outstanding work. :]
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Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Dec 23, 2010 19:16:24 GMT -5
Yeah, that's not it. I've no idea either... though in my head there is definitely an image involved; as though I had seen it on -some- comic, or picture or something. Maybe it's just a lengthy deja vu? Ever had that, where you get that "I've done this before" feeling, but it persists for quite a while? |
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