Sex in a Hammock
“You smell good.”
“Thanks. I bought this new deodorant. You know; for the ladies…”
“Oh, stop.”
“Ow! Okay. Pinchin’ me… That better not leave a mark.”
“Only fair. You’ve left your share of marks.”
“True. It’s just… What am I going to tell my other girlfrie— Ow! Okay, I’ll stop, damn.”
“You’re such an asshole.”
“You love it…”
“…”
“…”
“Mmmm… I do love this. I could just lay like this, right here, forever.”
“Your hip is digging into my thigh.”
“Sorry, how’s this?”
“Better. Thanks.”
“Mmmm…”
“…”
“Hey.”
“Hm?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“You just did.”
“No, I’m serious.”
“Ow. Alright, yeah. What’s up?”
“Have you ever had sex?”
“Oh… You meant, like,
serious, serious.”
“…”
“Yeah… Yeah, totally. A buncha times, actually. Why? Have you?”
“I don’t… I mean, yeah, once… I dunno. It was weird.”
“What does that mean?”
“Well, you know Ryan? Henderson?”
“From your History class?”
“Yeah…”
“Okay…”
“Well, last summer we were walking home from the fair… It was dark out and we decided to stop and just look at the stars and stuff. So we’re laying in the grass, talking… And then we start kissing and next thing I know we’re going off into the bushes and we…”
“You…”
“Well, you know. I mean… Sort of…”
“In the bushes? Pretty adventurous for a first time.”
“I guess… I mean, yeah, it was weird. Like, I didn’t say ‘no,’ but I guess I wasn’t really into it. I was curious, I guess… What was your first time like?”
“Well… Don’t know if I really remember it. So long ago. Ow! Okay, okay, just kidding… But if you think doing it in the bushes is weird, you should try doing it in a hammock.”
“Your first time was in a hammock?”
“No, this was like, six months ago. With my ex.”
“What’s her name?”
“What? Oh, you wouldn’t know her. Heather. She lives across town. Graduated last year. So, anyway, we sneak out this one night and met up at this random house somewhere in her neighborhood, they had like, a pool and stuff. So we saw that none of the lights were on or anything, and figured no one was home and we’d go for a swim. So we took off our clothes, right?”
“You snuck out?”
“Yeah, I sneak out all the time.”
“I thought you said she lives across town.”
“She does… Did. She moved, that’s why we broke up. She’s lives in Nevada, or something, now.”
“You don’t have a car. Did you ride your bike across town?”
“Oh! No. I was staying at my cousins’ house. He lives over there. That’s how we met; when I was over at my cousins’ place and we ran into her at the bowling alley.”
“Uh huh…”
“So, anyway, we’re swimming around for a while. Then I noticed this hammock there on the porch and I’m thinkin’, ‘Never done it a hammock before.’ Neither had she so we gave it a shot.”
“And?”
“Way harder than it sounds. The logistics are just all wrong. It’s… ‘complicated,’ is probably the best word. I had rope burns on my butt for like a week. But, you know how it goes…”
“…”
“…”
“So… When are we gonna do it?”
“Do what? Go bowling?”
“No.”
“Ow, ow, stop, I’m kidding… Shit…”
“You know what I mean, you ass.”
“I dunno… I mean, are you sure you’re ready for that?”
“I think so…”
“It’s just… After the Ryan story, and the bushes, and the weirdness… I just… I mean, I guess I just respect you more than that. So if you’re not sure… If you don’t
know, know…”
“I’m pretty sure.”
“Well, it’s just… I mean, I’m going to be eighteen in like, two months.”
“So?”
“So, you’re still a sophomore. I mean, if do it now are we going to stop doing it on my birthday? Talk about a crappy present…”
“I won’t tell anybody.”
“I know, I know, I’m sure you won’t… But what if someone finds out? That could get really… complicated for me.”
“So, what’s your plan? You just want to wait for three years?”
“No. Maybe… I mean, we should definitely have sex, it’s just—“
“No one’s gonna find out.”
“Okay, but… But what if you get really pissed at me? And we break up in like, six months? And—“
“You think we’re gonna break up?”
“What? No. That’s not what I mean. I’m just saying… Wait, do you hear that?”
“…”
“…”
“Cindy?”
“Shit, my mom’s home! Sit up. Quick.”
“Where’s my shirt?”
“We’re upstairs, Mom...”
“Who’s we?”
“Shit. Shit, shit.”
“She’s coming, fix your hair… Hey, Mom.”
“Hey, there. Who’s your friend?”
“Mom, this is Casey.”
“Hi, Mrs. Matthews…”
“Hello, Casey.”
“He came over to help me with my geometry homework. He’s the teacher’s aide in the class.”
“… I see. Well, good. According to your last progress report you can use all the help you can get.”
“Mom…”
“Where are your books?”
“…”
“Oh! They’re in my bag. I was, uh, just packing up to take off. Lemme just grab that.”
“That’s too bad. It’d be nice if you could stay for dinner. I’d love to get to know the young man who is nice enough to donate his time to help my daughter.”
“Oh… Uh, that sounds great. But I’ve got a thing tonight… I gotta…”
“Well maybe next time. I’ll walk you to the door.”
“Um, alright. So, I guess I’ll see you Monday in class, Cindy?”
“Yeah…”
“You have my number if you have questions. Just, don’t call after nine. My mom’s usually asleep.”
“Okay… Bye.”
“Bye. See you Monday.”
“Are you sure you can’t stay for dinner, Casey? We’re having spaghetti.”
“No. I really should get going. In fact, I’m already late.”
“Well, Cindy’s dad should be home soon. Watch the stairs… I’m sure he could give you a ride to wherever you need to go.”
“No, thank you. I’m good. Where’s my other shoe?”
“Here.”
“Thanks, anyway. It was nice meeting you Mrs. Matthews.”
“You, too, Casey.”
“Maybe next time.”
“That would be nice… Oh, one more thing, Casey…”
“Yeah?”
“I’m not stupid.”
“…”
“…”
“Yeah… I know.”
