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Post by Kaez on Sept 27, 2016 1:12:41 GMT -5
Write a story based on the following blurb/synopsis:
June 1919. Representatives of the British, French, American and Italian government meet every day in the Quai d'Orsay. They are negotiating the final terms of what shall become the Treaty of Versailles. Occasionally, they meet with delegates of the smaller nations affected by the war. In the chaos of these final meetings, every delegate seeks to get their pound of flesh from the German Empire.
One of these delegates is Antonin Brzobohatý, a representative of the Republic of Oder. It has existed for three days and is founded on the principle of making Mr Brzobohatý very, very rich.
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Post by The Counter Cultist(Sawyer) on Oct 2, 2016 1:22:07 GMT -5
Antonin Brzobohatý was not a rich man. That was why he had come here to the Quai d’Orsay. The Great War had stopped, if only momentarily. Now the Allies were here working out how exactly how much flesh they would tear from Germany. Antonin was determined to get his own porton. The past three days had been so meticulously planned. From the ‘birth’ of his new homeland of Oder, to the few steps he was taking now. He would be walking out of here with enough reparations that he had his family would be able to buy a sovereign Czech nation.
Taking a deep breath, he gave his name and who he was representing to the front desk clerk, and was ushered into the main room. Everything was leading up to this moment right here. In a few minutes he would be grilled for information, being asked by various French officials for all sorts of confirmation of his nation’s existence. It was only a matter of time now.
“Will the delegation of Oder please stand?” Antonin stood, and smoothed out his suit. He was prepared for whatever obstacles these Allied maroons would throw in his face.
“We have reviewed your claims, and agree, you will receive a portion of the reparations we deem fair.” Antonin could only look at the official who was speaking, utterly dumbfounded. This was the moment he had stayed up the past three days for? A simple ‘yes you’ll get your money?”
God damn he was good, Antonin thought to himself smugly, straightening his tie.
“Thank you Mr. Ambassador,” he said, giving a slight bow. “May I ask how the reparations will be paid out?”
“Most likely in kind; you’ll receive a fair amount of coal, timber, or other such natural resources.” Antonin almost fell over as the ambassador, said that. Falling back into his seat as the delegates continued prattling on.
Out of the pot, and into the fire. Time to see how fast he could build a train station and fake city somewhere in Eastern Germany.
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Post by James on Oct 14, 2016 3:15:40 GMT -5
Sawyer
I'm in a little bit of a rush writing these reviews and I think we both know that there's not a lot to be said about this story. So I'll be brief and probably a little too blunt.
The prose is stated so matter of factly that there's no real pop to the story. He does this, this happens, he asks this, the end. This is just a skeleton. There's nothing to it. It's also just a let down. We're promised this great con, you even hint that Antonin had done some great work to set the situation up, but we see nothing of it. This story just exists and that's not good enough.
Saying that, I did actually like the ending. The idea that he had planned his con only to realise he now needed to pull off a bigger one is a nice way to wrap up the story.
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