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Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Feb 19, 2016 19:18:35 GMT -5
I really enjoyed Zovo's final story as it wasn't dragging in any way. I mean, yeah there's nothing really there to talk about, but I loved its length since so many others feel they have to write these massive walls of text with so much that just does not matter. The whole thing just felt like a quick joke and the absurd hard turn at the end just worked for me. Compare that to James' final story, and I got easily distracted by the way he constructed his sentences. Coming from the Skype call, I get now that he was trying to create a voice that wasn't his, and to me that showed. Compare it to Sex 2 or Strangers 2 and we have this very distinct creative voice. What I wanted to put in my review but wasn't really sure how to talk about is the waffling between narrator and character POV. Its hard to describe but its just kind of a feeling I get from the read. I think Sex Cult 2 was a better story, and I really did not like that one. Some of the other things I talked about on Skype I want to reiterate here since they're relevant for Zovo. I really liked your semi-final piece Zovo, I thought it presented some really cool ideas. The problem I struggled with was reviewing it and deciding whether I liked it for what was there, what you had written, or if I liked it for how I could have taken that idea and transformed it. It was probably my second favorite story that I really read behind James' stranger. Thanks man, I appreciate that. Honestly, I'm surprised that one was apparently as well liked as it was. The reviews I got had me doubting it was even good enough to advance and, honestly, as I was writing, the story kind of turned itself on it's ear. |
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Post by Sekot on Feb 19, 2016 19:24:27 GMT -5
Some of the other things I talked about on Skype I want to reiterate here since they're relevant for Zovo. I really liked your semi-final piece Zovo, I thought it presented some really cool ideas. The problem I struggled with was reviewing it and deciding whether I liked it for what was there, what you had written, or if I liked it for how I could have taken that idea and transformed it. It was probably my second favorite story that I really read behind James' stranger. Thanks man, I appreciate that. Honestly, I'm surprised that one was apparently as well liked as it was. The reviews I got had me doubting it was even good enough to advance and, honestly, as I was writing, the story kind of turned itself on it's ear. The ending certainly became really muddled and lost focus. But because it was after the sorta-reveal of Sophia's condition, I had also become a lot more invested in Cara's emotional plight. I think, revisited, it could be phenomenal. |
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Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Feb 19, 2016 19:29:52 GMT -5
Thanks man, I appreciate that. Honestly, I'm surprised that one was apparently as well liked as it was. The reviews I got had me doubting it was even good enough to advance and, honestly, as I was writing, the story kind of turned itself on it's ear. The ending certainly became really muddled and lost focus. But because it was after the sorta-reveal of Sophia's condition, I had also become a lot more invested in Cara's emotional plight. I think, revisited, it could be phenomenal. Yeah, see, the original idea was to have Cara be the robot. It all sort of spawned from Daniel's comment early on about "trading [her] in for a newer model." But as I got more and more into it, I liked the idea that it was Sophia instead of Cara; then that took me down a bunch of other roads. And, yeah, I sort of got myself bogged own in the details of the procedure... With Tadd and all that. Then it came time to reveal Sophia 2.0 but I felt like there was still a lot of story to tell. I had a hard time deciding where to cut it short. |
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Post by J.O.N ((Dragonwing)) on Feb 19, 2016 23:26:01 GMT -5
The ending certainly became really muddled and lost focus. But because it was after the sorta-reveal of Sophia's condition, I had also become a lot more invested in Cara's emotional plight. I think, revisited, it could be phenomenal. But as I got more and more into it, I liked the idea that it was Sophia instead of Cara; then that took me down a bunch of other roads. And, yeah, I sort of got myself bogged own in the details of the procedure... With Tadd and all that. Then it came time to reveal Sophia 2.0 but I felt like there was still a lot of story to tell. I had a hard time deciding where to cut it short. I knew I wasn't going insane. I mentioned that it felt that it was eluding to Cara being the robot at the beginning. But apparently I was the only person to pick up on that. |
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Post by Ad Absurdum on Feb 20, 2016 1:45:33 GMT -5
A (almost) defense of Birthday 1 (Elf Sluts)
“Have Your Cake, Gobble it Down, Then Choke”: really that now just feels more relevant to my writing process here than the actual story. I mostly got the reactions I wanted actually, which were a combinations of ‘what the fucks’ ‘and holy shits’ although it was a bit more of the concerned eyebrow raising type than the slow chuckle variety.
Just from reading the prompt, I knew I wanted to subvert expectations. Unlike my prompt from Round 1, as well as a lot of other prompts in this competition, there was no immediate sign of conflict, no waft of plot. It just is. It’s a pleasant beginning. Too pleasant. Adorably innocent.
And, from my perspective, that just couldn’t stand.
With the subvert goal in mind, I immediately was drawn to a first, but ultimately failed concept. I wanted to keep the pleasant tone throughout the story, while also hinting at that the entire family were a bunch of satanic fucking murderers. There would be casual mentions of Sophia being like: “Mommy, can I go feed our guest downstairs?” “Absolutely, dear, just don’t play with the chains again. You know what happened last time…” Something along those lines. The problem was is that it was one of those stories that completely hinges on the twist reveal; the revelation. There’s no conflict aside from that, and I feel I’ve done enough of those stories already. I wanted something that could proper throw a rut into Cara and Daniel’s day.
The primary inspiration came from an Argentinian movie known as Wild Tales. I highly recommended you see it. It’s a movie composed of six short films, each immensely entertaining in its own right, and all united in their theme of revenge. Here we have characters often living as upstanding citizens before slowly devolving into primal, near animalistic instincts, fueled by the desire for vengeance. It’s a fun concept, the idea of our society being thin gauze layer of order haphazardly draped over a scabrous core of chaos. I love how unapologetically over the top they were, a near live action Looney Tunes, and that’s how the idea was born.
At this point I had about three and a half days left to write, and I spend that half-day constructing the plot. It actually came together really nicely in my mind; a slow burn beginning that just kind of unleashes in its second half to a total cluster fuck with a final corkscrew at the end. I knew how each character was going to die, and I knew how I wanted them to interact. The whole thing was pretty well plotted out before I started writing, aside from a few cosmetic details.
Writing went pretty smooth as well. I really wanted to exploit the full extent of the obnoxiously innocent prompt, and repeated it each time to introduce each new character, twisting the innocence on its head slowly.
Each intro also introduced a new perspective and I wanted each new perspective to be rawer than the last. That’s why Cara’s is written like its straight up a scene from a relaxed family drama. I wanted it to be hyper-romantic, the machinations of a perfect birthday, before really breaking the ice. Rosaline’s introduction tarnishes it a bit, although she still has the same naivety as Cara. She feels like the superior lover, but she’s hardly more than a chew toy to Dan, unfortunately. It’s not until Regan shows up, with a sort of clinical, dryness and detachment to our adulterous asshole know as Dan, that I wanted the true narrative to raise its ugly face, and show just what kind of shitstorm was going to start to unfold.
I briefly gave a summary to my girlfriend of what my idea was, and she commented how it sounded like a total massacre akin to the finale of Hamlet, with poisonous edibles and a swordfight, so I felt like ‘fuck it, give ‘em all Shakespeare names’. That also a slight bit of foreshadowing, with the gender-bending Viola from Twelfth Night showcasing Yuri, our true Russian instigator. I like putting little quirks like that in stories.
I wrote each character to be naïve to a fault, feeling themselves to be above the rest of the rabble. Cara insists she lives in the real world, grounded, and far too mature for any sort of wacky video game, but ends up relapsing and being the key player in a shitshow that becomes quickly more insane than any real life situation, literally carrying a sword around based on the thing she despises. Rose insists she’s Dan’s true lover, but is so ignorant that she buys him a cake that ultimately causes his death. Regan’s fetish for clinical professionalism causes her to justify increasingly immoral acts and ultimately dooms her. So that’s kind of why I had things unfold the way they did.
James said the story occupies a kind of grey area in black comedy, and I think he’s right, but I don’t really mind that. I wanted the story to devolve into something completely absurd. I wanted someone to look at the opening lines, then scroll halfway through and give a panicked look of confusion. I wanted the characters to become unhinged in a rather deranged way, reacting violently and obnoxiously to the increasingly demented happenings.
I guess it’s not really a defense, just my own thoughts. Even if it lost me the semi-finals, I kind of like what I have here. The story is its own beast.
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Inkdrinker
Scribe
Sepulcher: a stage enlived by ghosts.
Posts: 908
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Post by Inkdrinker on Feb 23, 2016 4:17:30 GMT -5
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