Match #8

[James]

GENRE: High Fantasy
Restriction: The story must take place on the open sea.

Deadline: Sunday, 17th May

I think that's a simple explanation. We want a high fantasy story, whatever you may want to tell, but it needs to be set on the ocean.

[Kaez]

Wind rustled past Whisper’s ears as she fell. Her wings immediately began to stabilize her descent. Blood pounded in her ears like ancient drums. Humid air came to her in gasps. Eyes wide, she scanned the night sky.

That was when the screech of a Seaharpy pierced the quiet. A dark form flitted across the starscape, almost too fast to follow. Almost.

Whisper braced herself just before the shape slammed into her. They fell. Poisoned talons raked her armored sides. Fetid breath brushed across her neck like a foul gust. The snap of fangs clacked, as if eager to be plunged into her vulnerable skin. Eyes glittering with murderous desire were inches from hers. Behind those eyes, the world swirled madly. The sliver of the moon tumbled into a dark black ocean and back again. Clouds and sea. Stars and waves. Life and death.

They were seconds from impact when Whisper lashed out with an open palm. Her hand connected with the Seaharpy’s gaping maw and shot a lance of pain up her arm. Teeth gnashed together violently and its claws detached enough for her to wiggle from its grasp. Stunned, the Seaharpy fell away from her, carried by the wind. Its scream grew faint as it plummeted toward the sea, out of sight. The sound abruptly cut off with a crash of water.

Snapping her wings out before she joined it, Whisper executed a swift somersault. The wind beckoned to her call and slowed her descent as if it were catching her in a massive hand. Clear for the moment, Whisper took a shuddering breath. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest. Little, involuntary whines slipped out with each exhalation. Her neck thudded in an adrenaline-fueled frenzy.

I’m okay. I’m okay. Calm down, Whisp’. Take stock.

Pain flared in response from her left wing. The appendage throbbed, oozing a yellow ichor. She grimaced. Seaharpy poison would cling just under the skin for hours, painfully working its way through her wing and leaving large bruises in its wake.

Another piercing screech from above caught the breath in her throat.

High above, the airship she’d called home for the last few weeks thundered through the skies on its huge, twin turbines. The blades cut through the air with an audible hum, even magically dampened though they were. One side of the airship was covered in a grey film, like half a soap bubble that still hadn’t popped. Casted fire and explosions of lightning popped around the undefended side.

Seaharpies swarmed the balloon that held her home aloft like gnats around a dying animal.

Larger forms of her Valkyries zoomed around the smaller Seaharpies in defensive formations. They cut small swaths through the disorganized swarm in an effort to keep the monsters at bay—the crew weren’t about to leave their ship to the monsters flapping madcap through the sky. As she watched, another of the Seaharpies ceased its unsteady flap and careened toward sea.

That’s it. Whisper smiled fiercely at the crew’s precision. Just like I taught you.

Before she could congratulate herself further, something latched onto her legs and pulled, hard. Yelling in shock and pain, Whisper looked down. A flash of fangs was all she saw before she was pulled into the sea.

Water thrashed against her as the monster pulled her further into the depths. Bubbles left her and saltwater filled her mouth before she could close it. Claws tugged at her leg and sent pain shooting through it with every tug. She could barely hear over the disorienting screech of the Seaharpy and the water’s churning.

She was in their territory now, down in the darkness under the ocean.

Fear slashed through her resolve as memories of others pulled away similarly whipped through her mind. It happened to others, not her. She was the best, the fastest, the smartest, the toughest. It couldn’t happen to her. Now anger swept through her, at the Seaharpy, at herself. The next tug came and she slipped further down.

“No!” The ragged cry tore from her throat with a flurry of bubbles as she beat her wings and paddled upward.

A sudden current slashed through the water at her urging. Bubbles tumbled around her and the grip on her legs loosened. She didn’t waste the chance and beat her wings again, causing the ocean to swell around her.

The Seaharpy tugged harder. Frustrated, shrill cries came from what seemed to be every direction.

Whisper closed her eyes and gritted her teeth against the sonic assault. Another tug came, but she was ready for it. This time, she pulled back.

Once again, the water exploded away from her, and she made it above the surface for just a moment. A stream of moonlight struck through the darkness and fell over the monster’s vicious features beneath her. The Seaharpy shrieked and hid its ghastly face with a leathery wing as if burned by just being seen.

Biting her lip and shrugging off the growing pain her wing, Whisper flapped and paddled. The currents, both wind and water, caused by her wings pushed her up like a giant springboard and she screamed a battle cry, rising through the air and dragging the Seaharpy in her wake. Now it was the monster’s turn to feel her pain.

A talon dug into her left leg, nearly causing her to falter. She veered to the side in an attempt to escape, and fell immediately back into the water. The sea pressed in against her, holding her fast. She tumbled, and couldn’t figure out which was was up, her wings tangled around her.

Another screech came from somewhere around her, this one seeming to be tinged with relief. Now she was beginning to get dizzy from effort and lack of oxygen. Her vision began to swim and the talon dug deeper into her leg with excruciating slowness as the Seaharpy pulled her down.

Whisper shook violently, one last attempt to break free. She only managed to shake it off for a moment. The Seaharpy hooked another claw into her arm, stubbornly not letting her go. Its dark shape hung on her like a fiendish shadow. Leathery skin and scales rubbed against her, sandpaper against skin.

I’m going to die.

The thought hit her like a hammer blow. She would die alone, in the dark. She’d never see the sky again, never fly. A single, simple mistake and she’d failed her crew. Failed the captain.

Worse, she’d failed herself.

An explosion of grey energy stopped her thoughts in their tracks. She blinked against the sudden illumination and vaguely heard the Seaharpy scream in pain.

Oh, there you are! the voice carried telepathically into her mind.

Ylen? Whisper yelled incredulously in her mind.

Of course, my dear! I’m here to rescue you! Teleportation was never my strong suit, but I can manage just fine, it seems!

Spectacles glistened just ahead of her in the light of a wand, and suddenly she could breath. As her vision cleared, she recognized the bushy mustache and distinctive swirl of grey hair bobbing slightly in the ocean. A smile was plastered across the man’s face.

Before Ylen could thank him, the maddened Seaharpy slammed into Ylen. Fangs sunk deep into the wizard’s neck and he yelled in agony, bubbles rising to the surface. A spark of magic speared upward like a firework from his wand.

"Ylen!" Whisper roared, paddling toward him with wings and arms. She was so close to him, yet she could do nothing. Thinking quickly, she redirected a current of water toward the Seaharpy. It was harder to do than wind, but she was wasn’t going to be deterred.

Water rushed across her feathers as she took control of the thin stream. She flapped and sent a burst streaking toward the Seaharpy. The effort felt like it nearly snapped her wings, moving even that much water, but it was enough to rip the Seaharpy from Ylen’s limp body and send it away, into the ocean.

Whisper gritted her teeth and shook her head to clear it of its sudden lightness. Her wings snapped closed and her anger dissipated into worry. Her eyes were immediately drawn to the two gashes on the wizard’s neck. They were oozing a yellow fluid into the water, just like her own wound. Her wing throbbed in response.

You’ll be okay, Whisper thought, more to herself than the now-unconscious Ylen. She grunted and swam upward, tugging him behind her. When she breached the water, she drew in a grateful breath. For a moment, she was worried about carrying him, but after a quick experimental lift of the thin wizard’s body, she was in the sky again. Wind crisscrossed her wings from every direction as if welcoming her home. Her wings twinged in response, but there was no time for an extended homecoming.

She rose and spotted the Southern Belle in the distance. The half-eggshell of the shield was still up and there were less Seaharpy silhouettes. Unfortunately, there were less Valkyrie ones, too.

It didn’t take her long to catch up, even with Ylen carried in her arms. Despite her determination, though, her breath came in heavy gasps and she almost doubted she could reach the ship. One final stretch lay before her, swarming with Seaharpies. Gritting her teeth, she dashed into the fray.

High pitched screeches battered her from all sides as she joined in the aerial ballet. Whistles and booms of exploding spellcasts and Thunderkegs filled the air. None of them were close to hitting her, thankfully.

A pair of Seaharpy’s glanced in her direction. Screeches pierced the air and they immediately began flapping toward her on wings the color of night.

Whisper cursed under her breath. She was nearly helpless while holding the wizard. “Serrah! If you see me, now would be the time to help out!”

When no help was forthcoming, Whisper growled and tried to figure out a way to fight with her burden. She was flying right at them. They’d be on her in seconds.

“Okay, let’s see how you like this!” she yelled at them.

A burst of wind blew toward the two. One of the Seaharpies dodged it, but the other was caught full-on. The unfortunate monster stopped as if it had slammed into a wall and fell, stunned. The other continued toward her with a screech of victory.

Before it could sink its claws into her, a flash of red burst across the Seaharpy’s side. Flame exploded across the monster’s leathery skin, catching like a brushfire. In seconds, the Seaharpy was immolated and screaming, a meteor heading toward the sea. Whisper wished fire killed them, but Seaharpies were nearly impossible to just defeat.

The deck of the Southern Belle rose before her and she slowed herself. Breaking, she set Ylen on the wooden floor and looked up as two familiar figures came up to her.

“Whisper! You’re all right!” Serrah squeezed her into a hug. Her featherbrown hair was disheveled, but her slim form was dwarfed by her acid-gouged armor. “When we saw you get pulled down—.”

“We weren’t even worried,” Skycrasher interrupted, a smirk on her face. The eyepatch she switched from eye to eye was sitting across her left this time, and her white hair was tucked under her flight cap. “Glad to have you back. The boys’ve kept it up while you were gone.”

Serrah glanced down at Ylen and immediately began issuing orders. “Hawker, bring me some bandages and some poultices! Kalyn, bring him below to the sickbay! What happened?”

The last was to Whisper, who took in another shuddering breath and nodded. “Ylen got attacked… down in the water… trying to save me. Got its fangs in his neck.”

The young Valkyrie’s lips set in a thin line. “Always an idiot. When he gets up later, I’m going to shave off his mustache.”

“You can save him?” Whisper asked, guilt squirming in her gut.

Doubt shimmered in Serrah’s eyes before hardening into a steady resolve. “Of course. You focus on getting us through this.”

“‘Atta girl,” Skycrasher murmured. She glanced down and rustled her own mangled wing. “You out of commission, Flight Leader?”

Whisper shook her head. “Not yet.”

Skycrasher’s smirk was almost taunting. “Then get up there and save my ship.”

Bouncing back into the air was as simple as breathing to her. So was slamming into stuff at high speeds, as she immediately proved by rushing another Seaharpy near the engines.

Mindful of its rough, leathery skin and scales, she turned at the last moment and hit it with an armored shoulder. The Seaharpy hacked up a smoky fluid as her shoulder connected with its chest. A sizzle hissed in her ear, the liquid thankfully falling on the armor instead of her skin. Stunned, the Seaharpy fell out of the sky. It seemed almost disbelieving as it dropped, like it never expected to be thrown from the air.

"Good hit!" Serrah yelled from the deck of the airship.

Whisper barely gave the young Valkyrie a glance. Serrah was wearing her armor and that was enough.

A yell from the other side of the ship drew her attention. Two of the crew were pinned against the balloon, Seaharpy talons gripping their arms. More Seaharpies were coming around to spit their acid at the hapless Valkyries.

She couldn't help them both. Not alone, anyway.

"Rigger, Vessler! Port side!" Whisper yelled at the two wizards standing on deck.

The duo, one comically skinny and the other comically large, shifted their efforts to the direction she pointed. The massive shield they maintained moved toward the helpless Valkyries.

Just before the attacking wing of Seaharpies spat their acid, the shield moved over the trapped crewmembers. The monsters holding them pinned against the side of the balloon screeched and squawked when the shield touched them, flapping away. Acid splatted against the magical bulwark and dribbled off to the churning waters below.

Mystical lightning crackled as Seaharpies flung themselves headlong into the shield, unaware or uncaring that it shocked them senseless. The shield wouldn’t be enough to keep them down forever, but it was enough to grant a breather for the two crewmembers. Too soon, the Seaharpies seemed to figure out the trick, and swiftly moved to attack the unshielded side.

One of the Valkyrie who’d been freed, however, wasn’t flapping away. Whisper rushed forward.

The Valkyrie disappeared below the edge of the deck and she followed it without a thought. She twisted the wind into a blast of air behind her. It rocketed her down to the panicking crewmember.

"I can't fly!" He yelled, words were almost lost in the wind. "I can't flap my wings!"

Some of the crewmember's feathers were eaten away. Holes littered both wings, a grisly sight.

The one place we can’t armor, Whisper thought with a touch of trepidation.

Wind sapped the saliva from her mouth as she gasped against the exertion. A few beats more and she managed to grab the crewmember. Dread drummed through her heart at ending up like him. The feathers would grow back... but not for months.

She couldn't be out for months. Time was already running low as it was.

"I can't fly!" Tears thickened his voice. "I can't fly, I can't fly anymore!”

Gritting her teeth, she concentrated on slowing them down and comforting him at the same time. "You'll be fine. They'll grow back. Just calm down. I'm here."

A faraway expression came over the Valkyrie’s face, as if he were looking through time. "No, I can feel it. I'll never fly again. I have to... I need—"

"You'll be fine," Whisper cooed, a touch of wistfulness coloring the words.

They slowed to a stop. The only sounds were the wind, waves, and Whisper's flapping wings. Waves stretched out beneath them, untouched and still beneath the moon's light. Peace stretched and lounged through the night like nothing had disturbed its slumber.

It's so quiet…

More screeches came from above.

“They’re coming back for us!” he cried out and shielded his wings.

When she looked up, flapping figures dove toward her, silhouetted against the moon resting high in the sky. The Seaharpies cackled in victory. Leather wings beat with maddened intensity. Fangs snapped and talons scraped against one another in an eager rhythm.

Despite the threat, Whisper closed her eyes.

“What are you doing! Move! We need to go!” the crewmember screamed, shaking violently.

Ignoring him, she drew in a deep breath. In her mind’s eye, she saw all three of the Seaharpies above her, drawing closer, manic light dancing in their glares. When they drew close enough…

Whisper tilted her left wing on the upswipe just so. Air flowed through her feathers and up toward her foes. She did the same with her right a second later.

“Wake up!”


Snapping her eyes open, Whisper shot straight up. The wind gathered around her with one more flap, this time held like a rubber band stretched beneath her. Pressure gathered at the tips of her wings.

All it took was a simple release.

Whisper twisted mid-flap and dropped the crewmember. As she moved, the two Seaharpies on the right and left were battered off course. The third continued straight at her, confusion in its pockmarked face.

When she kicked out, it was like the sky exploded. A crack of misplaced air thundered through her bones when her boot impacted the Seaharpy, directly in the chest. Wind swung upward like a sledgehammer.

The Seaharpy’s chest flattened like a piece of hot steel beneath the blow, its spongy skeleton and insides stretched near to breaking point. Acid sprayed across her hind legs and tail. Wherever the acid touched hissed menacingly. Pain ate at her skin like bits of scampering embers.

Without skipping a beat, Whisper dove again. Her body strained against the speed, agony spreading like wildfire at the base of her wings where the armor didn’t protect.

The Valkyrie she’d dropped was screaming below her. He awkwardly attempted to flap wings that wouldn’t function. The waves reached upward as if to catch him and pull him under.

Whistling through the air like a missile, Whisper caught the crewmember under his arms. Seconds from impact, she heaved upward with every muscle in her body. She felt like she was inhaling fire, a stitch like a burning lance in her side. Tendons popped like firecrackers in her wings. Clenching her teeth against the strain, Whisper leveled off just above the waves. Wind caressed her brow, as if congratulating her for the catch.

“Thanks,” Whisper muttered, then looked down. “You okay?”

The crewmember’s eyes were closed and his breath came in short, terrified gasps. Tears streamed down his face. “No.”

She coughed out a laugh. “Yeah… I don’t blame you.”

When no answer was forthcoming, Whisper tiredly stared up at the star-streaked sky. Only the Southern Belle’s airframe shone underneath the moonlight. A cool wind sent the waves below lapping against one another, counterpoint to the muted thrumming of the airship’s engines.

“Looks like we fought them off.”

“Good.” Bitterness dripped from the words, sorrow not far hidden underneath. “Thank you.”

Grimacing, she flapped back up toward the airship. “Don’t mention it.”

*****

The stench of sweat seeped off of her as Whisper removed her armor. She didn’t bother examining it, but she knew it had to be covered in pockmarks like the ones she had on her hide. With a thunk, the heavy armor fell to the floor.

Exhaustion flooded through her, sudden and powerful.

Serrah tapped the bottom of Whisper’s chin. “No, don’t fall asleep. Stay awake.”

“How’s Ylen?” she replied, eyes still closed. How she wanted to fall asleep right on the makeshift clinic’s floorboards. Groans from other injured crewmembers caused her to regretfully open them again.

All around the crew quarters, hammocks held the crew. Nearly all of the the fighting crew had poultices on various body parts. Others were sleeping before their next shift. The sight reminded her that she wasn’t the only one too tired to stand. She focused back on Serrah as the young woman started speaking.

“Asleep now. Mother and I removed most of what we could, but he’s not looking well,” Serrah said in return. “He needs medicine I can’t provide to fully heal him.”

Behind them, Skycrasher cleared her throat. “Your mother’s a great medic, truth be told, but you’re right. Fortunately, we’ll make it to our destination soon. Maybe one if we don’t run into any more Seaharpies.”

“Not likely.” Whisper winced when Serrah dabbed her wing with an antiseptic. “Ow.”

“Stop moving,” Serrah admonished. “I need to clean this.”

Clenching her teeth, Whisper attempted to remain still. “We’ve run into too many nests for this to be a coincidence. Something’s behind the attacks.”

“It’s true I’ve never come across this many on this route before,” Skycrasher said with a brow raised over her eyepatch. “Maybe we’ll get lucky. Maybe we won’t. Two days, maximum. Can Ylen hold out that long?”

Finished with Whisper, Serrah stepped back and rummaged around in her medicine bag laying on top of a barrel. “I don’t know, to be honest.”

“Hard to imagine, coming from you,” Whisper cracked, to a disapproving frown.

“I don’t know because it depends on the constitution of each individual,” Serrah elaborated. “Ylen is tougher than most of his species, but he’s also older than most humans. I’ve done all I can to increase his chances, but it’s up to him to pull through. If he wakes up in the next few hours, we’ll know he can hold on.”

Skycrasher sighed. “We have been lucky, you know. None of my boys and girls have been lost. Making you Flight Leader was the best decision I made this month.”

“Not being able to fly might as well be lost,” Whisper stared at a sleeping crewmember nearby through dead eyes. “Isn’t there anything to do?”

“Not being able to fly isn’t the end of the world,” Skycrasher snapped back, staring angrily. “I should know.”

Whisper winced and resisted the urge to stare down at the captain’s useless wing. Losing her ability to fly hadn’t stopped Skycrasher from captaining her own airship instead.

“Sorry.”

Skycrasher waved it away. “Doesn’t matter. Let’s focus on what we can fix. Like the ship. We’ve taken a lot of damage from the successive attacks. There’s materials in the hold to fix her up enough to get us through the journey, but we should set down sooner rather than later. She might hold through, but...”

“Where can we set down where we won’t be attacked by Seaharpies?” Whisper asked.

“Glad you asked.” Skycrasher pulled a map from under her flight cap and spread it across a nearby barrel. She pointed at a piece of land in the blue sea. “Right around here is a good place. Seaharpies aren’t known to circulate around here on account of the volcano. But if you think we can make it, Flight Leader, we’ll head straight through.”

Whisper’s eyes fell across the wounded crewmembers all around her and she sighed, nearly crushed with defeat.

Why am I making the decisions, Captain? There were no answers in Skycrasher’s eyes—there was only a hint of challenge. Fine, she thought tiredly.

Whisper looked up at the two Valkyries waiting for her orders. The map beckoned to her, the place Skycrasher had marked seeming to be their only option. Fly through to the capital or risk setting down to repair?

“Let’s set her down there, then,” she ordered, hoping it was the right choice.

It had to be.

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

Salty sea spray rose up and around the sea serpent, acting like a mist as waves crashed down across its back. They did little to impede its twisting body as it shot through the ocean with deadly grace. Many monsters of the deep stalked the oceans of Segara, but it was rare for them to stay surfaced for so long, and even rarer to have humans who clung to its slick hair and scales. These humans were the Sarpa Pirates, feared raiders who follow Bethari, the dreaded Queen of the Serpents; the only human who has tamed these lords of the oceans.

Bethari stood at the head of the great beast, her left hand clutching at one of its ivory spines. Her stark emerald eyes matched her mounts and they shared the same fiery mane. Many who knew of her would say they also shared the same temperament. The queen was ignoring her hair as it whipped around her in the wind; instead her focus was taken up by the events unfolding before them in the sky. High above them Langat dominated the heavens. The worlds of Segara and Langat were lovers, cursed by the gods to only meet every half century, when they shared a brief kiss.

Though it was midnight on this side of Segara, the great star was reflected from the sister ocean above; a blazing azure light that burst into an aurora that danced across the skies between them. The continents that spanned the world of Langat looked like leaves cast across a pond, but with every passing moment the worlds drew nearer to each other and you could begin to make out great deserts, mountains, and forests. It was a sight capable of stopping nations as people watched in awe.

“Is this necklace truly worth the risk, my queen? With these serpents we can take what we want!” The question was posed by one of her crewmen behind her, his voiced raised over the sound of rushing water. Her head shaman looked back, his face covered in dried blood and his stark white body naked except a snake skin loincloth. He bore his sharpened teeth with a bloodied smile.

“With that necklace the queen will rule this world and all its oceans!”

“How long until it begins, Fari?” Queen Bethari's voice stood out against the roar of the wind, boisterous and confident that not even the universe would dare silence her.

“Soon. I suggest we dive now, we'll need all of the speed we can muster!" Fari, her navigator, yelled back. She grinned in reply and raised her right hand into the air; it held a bone spear as long she was tall. She swung it down and hammered the shaft against her serpent’s greenish-blue scaled head.

Behind her, her crew let out a cheer before pulling themselves tighter against the body of the beast. With a flick of its tail, the serpent dove down into the ocean. If the shamans hadn’t been ready, the water would've been like a suffocating wall to the people clinging to the serpent. Instead their magic flowed around them and compelled the sea to let the crew slip into it unharmed. It also meant there was no need for the pirates to hold their breath; each inhale rewarded their lungs with salt stained air.

The water rushed by as the serpent dove deeper and deeper into the depths, the light fading and the cold darkness beginning to embrace them. Their ears were buffeted by the sound of a thundering waterfall. The shamans sweated and strained to keep the ocean from crushing the crew. Bethari held firm, her eyes shut as she waited. A few more moments passed and she felt the twitch from her serpent’s spine. She ground her spear back into its scale and in one fluid movement it twisted around and began swimming back towards the surface, with a burst of speed that made their descent seem leisurely. The water roared past and the shamans chanting reached an intense pitch until it could be heard in the water around them.

Higher and higher they swam, the darkness left far behind them. The water began to thin and the light of the aurora burst into view as the serpent surfaced once more. This time far above the waves and climbing a great column of seawater pulled skyward by the tidal forces of nearby Langat. Staring toward the heavens, the crew could see Langat's own sea reaching out to meet them. The Divine Kiss, a celestial bridge formed by the oceans of the two planets drawn together.

It was a bridge that linked two worlds for a brief moment which created an opportunity that was irresistible to Bethari. Only one nation, Oceania, had ever managed to unlock the arcane knowledge that allowed them to sail across The Divine Kiss, every other attempt saw only flotsam wash up on some strange shore, or a crew left to the cruelty of the void. The nation of Oceania spanned both Segara and Langat; the bridge providing them a rare opportunity to send important messages and exotic goods between their two worlds. For the nation, they believed the bridge was safe from any outsider. This time the Sarpa pirates had the power of the serpents.

The serpents were they only animal that had ever managed to cross between the worlds. Their immense power allowed them to push themselves high enough to escape the pull of their original world, and enter the tidal forces that keep the bridge open. By taming the serpents, the Sarpa pirates could conquer the celestial bridge and freely attack the ships that used it. Bethari stood tall atop the serpents head, ahead of her laid their target. An immense galleon filled with unimaginable riches. Without a command from her, the serpent slipped back into the water, it knew how to hunt its prey.

The crew of the galleon were caught completely unaware as the beast exploded from the water around them. Raising up and over the ship the serpent came crashing back down, its head slipping back under the galleon, quickly constricting it like a snake. Pirates leapt from the serpents back, down on to the deck, daggers and spears carved from bones clashed with the swords of the ill prepared crew. Clinging to the side of the serpent, the shamans began a deadly duel with the ships sorcerers. Fire and ice was flung through the air with deadly accuracy, only to smash against arcane shields. Bethari stood above it all, regal and indifferent.

From the upper deck by the wheelman, a man dressed in the same black coat as his men, but with a large captain’s hat, shouted out orders and began to rally the desperate crew into a proper fighting formation. On the lower levels, portholes were flung open and cannons wheeled out; they let out a crack and began to batter the serpent’s armoured scales. The serpent let out a piercing roar and began to twist and writhe, bending and breaking the wood of the ship and sending everyone fighting lurching about the deck. The beast's tail lashed out at the fore-deck, sending Oceanian crewmen soaring skyward into the void.

Leaping from its head, Bethari gracefully landed within the rigging of the ship before swinging and somersaulting. She fell from the ropes that lashed the masts and landed on top of a sorcerer, their body was crushed and broken beneath her. She didn’t hesitate and instead she rolled away pulling her weapon free. Dancing among her enemies, her spear lashed out with the speed and precision of a snake, finding gaps in their armour and skewering more of the crew on its bloody blade. She paid no attention to anyone who tried to slow her down continuing her warpath towards the captain of the ship.

She leapt over the guards at the bottom of the steps; they were too distracted by her crew who continued to press the attack. Sprinting up the stairs, she didn’t even slow down to face the two sorcerers flanking the captain. A wall of fire greeted her and she was washed in searing heat and fire. Her momentum didn’t wane, protected as she was by the magic woven into her serpent-skin clothes, and she drove her spear through the chest of the closest sorcerer. The other was left to the shamans. They drove a combined mental spike of fear and horror into the sorcerer’s mind, his defenses down after casting the spell at Bethari. With a scream of fear he ran and threw himself over the side of the ship.

The captain turned away from directing his crew and leveled his fierce gaze on Bethari. He stood a head above her and where she was lithe and fast like a snake, he was thickset and lumbering like a snow bear; his beard long, grey and bushy. With his left hand he drew a jagged sabre, and in his right he hefted a brutal hatchet. Any ordinary man would have needed two hands to lift the axe, but he gave it a slow twirl and faced Bethari with a wicked grin. In reply, Bethari readied her spear and crouched low as they circled one another.

“You made a terrible decision little girl, there will be no mercy for your actions today” the captain growled. The ship shuddered and rocked beneath them and the air was filled with cries of death and desperation.

“I have no time for words today old man! I will be taking your sea stone and anything else of value on this ship” Bethari responded in equal tone, her eyes fixed on the pendant hanging from the captains neck. The sea stone allowed its wearer to not only see the currents of the oceans, but also predict the weather. Only a few prized captains of Oceania had them.

“Yes, only a few minutes before the kiss ends I reckon. A few minutes I need to hold you before your reign comes to an end!” As he yelled, the captain closed the gap between them, his sabre a blur as it swung straight for the queen’s head.

She was barely able to move her spear in time to catch the blade on its haft, before twisting and jumping out of the way as the axe came down and split the deck beneath where she had been standing. Bethari launched a counter attack by driving the spear forward, but the man was able to batter it aside with his sword, a blow that left Bethari’s bones rattling. The captain didn’t just look like a bear, Bethari wondered if he was part bear as well. Letting out another roar, the captain charged the queen but this time she danced away, not letting him close the gap again.

Without their captain, the crew were beginning to wane in their fight. Already a few of the pirates had descended to the lower levels. They still put up a hard resistance and the pirates desperately tried to end the fight and still have time to loot the ship. Cannon fire continued to fill the air and smoke now enveloped the battle and the serpent who continued to twist and crush the galleon. The cannon fire was beginning to leave the beasts scales shattered and bloodied. At this point the body of the beast was all that truly kept the broken shell of the ship afloat. Throughout it all, neither side was able to intervene with the duel on the upper deck.

Bethari drove her spear at the captain’s leg and he swung his sword down to block it. Twisting at the last second she was able to slash at the opposite leg and he let out a snarl. He drove forward and herded her against the railing overlooking the lower deck. Trapped, she could do nothing but face him as he thrust his sword forward. At the last second she bent back, the blade slicing a few hairs from her head. She spun her spear up, driving it into the outstretched arm. Wrenching it free, blood poured from the wound and the sabre clattered to the ground, the arm uselessly hanging at the captain’s side. Anger clouded the man’s eyes and he swung his axe down once more.

The blade glistened in the air above Bethari’s head, her eyes wide in terror. Unable to move, it would have cleaved her in two, but the ship jerked and the serpent twisted once again, sending everyone stumbling. The axe buried itself into the railing as Bethari was thrown to safety. Getting back to her feet she watched as the captain tried in vain to pull the hatchet free with one arm. Balancing her spear, threw it hard; it slammed into the shoulder of the man. He stumbled back in shock, staring at the blade impaling him. He failed to notice Bethari charging at him.

Leaping with her dagger drawn, she drove her feet into the man and sent him staggering back against the side of the ship. With one hand she grabbed the necklace with the blood red stone attached to it and wrenched it from his neck, with her other hand she drove the blade into the captain’s neck, blood immediately began to spray from it. Jumping away from him, her legs forced him over the railing, his hand clenched at his neck as he fell down into the water.

Slipping the pendant around her neck, Bethari quickly looked to the lower deck, the last of the ships protectors had died with their captain. Her crew were quickly taking anything they could carry from the ship and strapping it to the sides of the serpent. The bodies of the slain sailors had been left where they fell. Before she could return to the serpent there was a violent shudder. Around them the water was receding and the galleon was being left to the mercy of the void. Before Bethari could get to the serpent, there was a tremendous crack of wood and the ship began to fall apart. The Sarpa pirates began yelling to their queen but the serpent let out a futile roar and the front of the ship broke away. Between the two half’s, the void began rushing in, the water no longer connected.

Bethari’s feet moved at their own will. She hit the railing running and leapt towards the break in the ship. The wood shattering and collapsing beneath it, the serpent writhed and dived back into the water falling around it. Hitting the lower deck with a roll, Bethari didn’t hesitate and instead flung herself from into the void with a dive. It wasn’t enough, and the water was just too far out of reach. She felt the icy cold touch of the darkness around her close in as her lifeline slowly slipped away. Her sight already began to fade. All she could see was dark spot that seemed to be reflected in the water below. With a defiant roar, the serpent emerged from the sea, its jaws flung wide. It came rushing up at her, a mouth of fangs as large as a full grown man. The last thing Bethari remembered was those jaws snapping shut around her. Then there was only wet and rotten smelling darkness.

The queen’s eyes snapped open and she struggled to her feet. It was difficult when the ground seem to give out beneath her, the floor a strange rubbery mat. Her memory came flooding back, her brief moment being suspended in the void, her serpent rushing out to her and then nothing. Smacking at the side of the wall she felt its slimy texture. She was inside its mouth. As if to show she was correct, the serpent parted its fanged jaw and Bethari was greeted with the horizon of the ocean, the golden rays of the great star creeping over it and washing the world in light. The head of her navigator popped over the side and stared at her, standing covered in serpent drool and smiling.

“She’s alive!” He was greeted by a cheer.

Her hands flung to her neck and she felt a wave of relief as she pulled the necklace from around her. Holding it up into the sunlight, she grinned at the small pendant.

"Fari," she called out triumphantly, "Which side are we on?" Betherai was done being a queen of pirates; it was time to become an empress.

[James]

Both

Okay, this review is being done slightly differently. You’re both going to get your individual reviews underneath this, but there was a shared problem I want to talk about:

Why should I care about your stories?

That sounds mean, but bear with me. Neither of these stories was “bad”. At times, there were some cool ideas or imagery. Both were written well enough. But I ask: where is the reader’s emotional investment coming from in this story?

Both stories dropped me in at either the start or the middle of action scene. This is really tricky to do well because action scenes are only tense if you care about the outcome. I haven’t met these characters before and I don’t really care what happens to them. Team Kaez, you at least try and paint a sympathetic picture so that by the end of the story, I’m sort of caring. Team Zovo, you had some neat ideas but I don’t ever really care about Bethari or her men.

This is actually something I’ve talked to Silver about a lot. Action scenes need stakes. Stakes need investment. If you want to start in medias res then you need to work your socks off to make me care.

Team Kaez

Beyond the above, here’s what I think.

Like I said, this was well-written. In fact, it was smoother than its competitor. But ultimately, I’m kind of a spectator. I don’t have much idea what is going on, who are these people and why are they fighting seaharpies. Usually I like that. I don’t want to be spoonfed everything. But I wanted more; I’d have liked a little more explanation.

It wasn’t really a story; it was a snippet. I didn't get a beginning and I also didn't really get an end. I got a whole lot of action-packed middle that was written fine, but I just didn't have any connection to it.

Also, and maybe I’ve missed something, but I’m scratching my head trying to understand why the wizard was in the ocean? Why wasn’t he on the airship? Did his teleportation spell kind of fuck up? Obviously not a huge issue, but it bothered me immensely. WHY ARE YOU IN THE WATER, YLEN!?

So, look. You’re a good writer. And this was an “acceptable” story. But I wanted much more out of it. The writing was better than the story and I always think that’s a waste.

Team Zovo

On top of the joint judging, there are a few other things I want to say.

I really liked a bit of the worldbuilding going on, such as “the Bridge” which sounds really cool. I’d just like to have it described a little better because that was a really big selling point. Also, yours was more of a story than the other entry. However, the first paragraph was kind of an infodump and it really upset the flow right from the start.

Beyond that, everything was a little too direct. The serpents went down and down into the sea and then a paragraph later they were swimming up and up. You can see why the reader feels oddly short-changed here. It's just moving at a quicker pace than I felt comfortable with. The dialogue was to the point, basically explaining the plot: “we have these serpents, we can take anything”, “well, I want the necklace and then with that necklace I’ll rule everything” almost.

Ultimately, the main flaw was what I said above. I struggled to care about this story, which made the action scene fine but dull. There was nothing here to make me think “damn, I hope these plucky and amusing bandits and their Queen survive” or alternately think “I hope these bastards die in a fire.”

It wasn’t a bad story, though. Don’t be down-hearted. It was just lacking a connection.

Result
I’m going to give the point to Team Kaez. I think the writing was a little cleaner, a little crisper. There wasn’t a whole lot in it, though. It could have easily gone the other way with a few minor improvements from Team Zovo.

[Matteo ((Taed))]

Team Kaez: That seaharpy bitch just would not die!

This story had a big, missing, So What factor for me. That's what my review is going to boil down to. If you're going to write a battle scene (a choice, I would argue, that is actually very risky for short fiction) then you've got to give me a reason to care about it. There was very little in the way of context, or stakes, beyond the moment to moment conflict. Here's a person. She's fighting a thing. Will she kill the thing? Yes she will. And we move on.

You even mentioned that they expected to have further, practically identical battles, before their trip between Some Place and Who Knows was complete. So this wasn't even a particularly important battle, it's just an unconnected scene without any investment. We live in a world of blockbusters and wide-ranging media literacy, which unfortunately means that just having wizards and flying people in your story is not enough to impress the reader, or to make them care about your story.

Also ... I feel ... compelled ... to point out that, once again ... a character was called by the wrong goddam name!

Before Ylen could thank him, the maddened Seaharpy slammed into Ylen.

Come on guys. You've got a whole team to check this stuff.


Team Zovo:

Salty sea spray rose up and around the sea serpent

You ruined alliteration for me.

So, naturally, I'm going to spend most of this review discussing the mathematics behind Roche limits.

Ahem

In 1848 Edouard Roche derived an equation for determining the tidal deformation of rigid-body satellites according to the formula distance equals 1.26 times the radius of the primary, times the cube root of the mass of the primary, divided by the mass of the satellite ...

No, but it was fine. Cool image, with the sea serpent and the water bridge. Although, you explaining the whole "worlds moving together, oceans bridging between them" thing several times, when I, at least, was on board after the first. I think you can have more trust in your readers. You did the same thing with the backstory, actually: front-loading a bunch of exposition that wasn't really necessary. Give us the image of this sea queen, and maybe drop a little history in once she starts attacking the ship. I think most people would have figured out the rest for themselves.

This actually made an interesting contrast to the first piece (something we've actually seen a few times in this competition) because I think it was sloppier, but it had an interest factor that was lacking in the other entry. Both of them told battle scenes, but in this piece the battle felt memorable, definitive, rather than just one of many. It was a key excerpt, rather than a day in the life. The stakes were higher, and there was a better gimmick (sorry, tidal bridge trumps Valkyries) to hold my interest.


Result: Both stories painted a clear picture, and conveyed the moment to moment drama of their action effectively. But while the first entry had more consistent prose, it lacked a hook to make me care about the story being told. The match goes to Team Zovo.