[3] The Writing Discussion Thread

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

Hey kids...
The revised version of my Arena Entry 2 (Witch Trains) is available for reading here: wp.me/P5ULJ2-6t

Let me know what you think of the new original ending.

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

Mar 30, 2016 19:17:05 GMT -5 ASGetty ((Zovo)) said:

Hey kids...
The revised version of my Arena Entry 2 (Witch Trains) is available for reading here: wp.me/P5ULJ2-6t

Let me know what you think of the new original ending.

So... Just thought I'd check in, I can see at least a couple of you clicked that link.
Anyone have any feedback on the new/original ending?

[The Counter Cultist(Sawyer)]

I'm reading through both on my break right now zovo, I'll try to get some thoughts together by the time I head off to lunch around 11ish(central)



EDIT: I liked it. Quite a bit better than the original to be honest. It gave a nice Chekovian feel to the gold nugget(which honestly just felt like it was there and that was it in the original ending.) and as someone who liked Mikah I liked the fact that you made him a part of the escape. I'm also happy you pretty much kept the original closing lines in the new ending.

Sorry if it isn't much, I've never been the best at critiques.

[James]

Mar 30, 2016 19:17:05 GMT -5 ASGetty ((Zovo)) said:

Hey kids...
The revised version of my Arena Entry 2 (Witch Trains) is available for reading here: wp.me/P5ULJ2-6t

Let me know what you think of the new original ending.

It definitely flows a lot better. I prefer it more to the actual witch train one.

I guess, the only thing that jumped out at me was that it seemed odd Kagiso and the narrator didn't try to take the truck as well? I mean it obviously gave you a nice bit of symmetry with the start and 'you're safe with me, Little Cub'... but, dudes should have took the truck as well. They gave him a massive golden nugget and they're still out in the bush, all alone, with potentially bad people hanging about.

It's just one of those cases of "great imagery and construction of a story" vs "what people would actually do".

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

I considered this, but Kagiso was the one making demands and he's confident of his abilities in the bush.
Doesn't need the possibly stolen, might be wanted by the authorities truck.
That's how I logiced it in my head at least.

Thanks for reading though. I appreciate the feedback.

[James]

io9.gizmodo.com/reminder-rudyard-kipling-was-a-racist-fuck-and-the-jun-1771044121

My god, don’t forget that you are British and not a “lesser breed.”

Hoooooly shit. That is some poor reading comprehension there. Recessional was pretty much as anti-imperialism as you could get for a mainstream celebration of imperialism and the whole "lest we forget" is "well being British won't count for nothing if you forget about Christ so how about you stop being so 'we're so awesome'."

And while I freely admit that it's a problematic song, 'I Wanna Be Like You' was a great song to five year old me. Five year old me was not thinking about racial tensions. Five year old me did not know about racial tensions. Be like five year old me?

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

Apr 14, 2016 16:31:00 GMT -5 James said:

io9.gizmodo.com/reminder-rudyard-kipling-was-a-racist-fuck-and-the-jun-1771044121

My god, don’t forget that you are British and not a “lesser breed.”

Hoooooly shit. That is some poor reading comprehension there. Recessional was pretty much as anti-imperialism as you could get for a mainstream celebration of imperialism and the whole "lest we forget" is "well being British won't count for nothing if you forget about Christ so how about you stop being so 'we're so awesome'."

And while I freely admit that it's a problematic song, 'I Wanna Be Like You' was a great song to five year old me. Five year old me was not thinking about racial tensions. Five year old me did not know about racial tensions. Be like five year old me?

I've always felt it's a little ridiculous to call out dead people on the mainstream sins of the past.

The Jungle Book was published over 100 years ago so, yeah, Kipling was probably super racist. But then, so was basically everyone else. There's literally no point in drawing attention to it, at all. What we should be paying attention to is whether or not the current adaptation has been able to identify and determine whether or not the offensive elements are contextually relevant and, if not, expunge them.

[James]

Apr 14, 2016 16:53:32 GMT -5 ASGetty ((Zovo)) said:

The Jungle Book was published over 100 years ago so, yeah, Kipling was probably super racist. But then, so was basically everyone else. There's literally no point in drawing attention to it, at all. What we should be paying attention to is whether or not the current adaptation has been able to identify and determine whether or not the offensive elements are contextually relevant and, if not, expunge them.

Bingo.

And I also feel like, if you want to still defend the original text and read it to your kids, you can. Just provide them with the context when they're older and it also becomes a good lesson.

Which, I feel like that article was nearly saying. "Don't censor, provide context". But then said how is this still being filmed in the 21st century, which kind of sounds like self-censoring.

I think political correct, on the whole, is a -good- thing. But I'm getting really tired of the outrage and virtue signalling, and the trying to erase the past. Don't make the past disappear. Make the past into a lesson. "Here's a book by Kipling. He was a man of his times and you can see some troubling views reflected in that. Consider how we've moved on."

Although, Kipling was probably a bit of a progressive for his time. He did genuinely adore India.

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

Well, she argues that there are certain theme's which cannot be removed from Kipling's work or a modern adaptation and she uses the whole, "Mowgli's inherent human supremacy is analogous to the Whiteman's Burden; where it's up to Mowgli to be more civilized than the animals." Which feels like a reach to me, but it could easily be removed from a modern interpretation by simply making the anthropomorphic animals behave less animalistic manner.

Basically, she's implicating all modern reinterpretation because she, personally, isn't creative enough to figure out how to fix them.

[JMDavis ((Silver))]

This was an amazing response to that article.

[James]

I'm saddened by the lack of Mad Max gifs in our gif vernacular.

This is a good start.

[The Counter Cultist(Sawyer)]

Apr 14, 2016 19:31:10 GMT -5 James said:

I'm saddened by the lack of Mad Max gifs in our gif vernacular.

This is a good start.

I've been bookmarking any good gifs I come across. Maybe I'll start actually using them.

[James]

io9.gizmodo.com/googles-offering-money-for-the-best-movie-scripts-about-1772118348

The Life and Times of a Certified Pardot Salesforce Consultant

[Matteo ((Taed))]

You know that's it's Salesforce Certified Pardot Consultant.

I know that you know.

[James]

I said all the right words, just not necessarily in the right order.

I'll give you that, sunshine. I'll give you that.