The Madness

[James]

.

[James]

Just a little something. I'm trying to write every day, at least for a few minutes, and I really wanted to tackle something short. Under 1,000 words. This is the result. I'm actually really happy with it, I feel like for such a silly piece, there's a few layers depending how much Lovecraft you've read.

As always, comments are welcome! Feel free to post them in this thread.

[Croswynd]

That was fun to read, and quite silly, as you've mentioned. I don't believe much can be critiqued about the story because of the way it's written and its short length. You managed to stay in character throughout the entire email, continuing with the main character's overreaction toward these "upper management". I'm afraid I can't delve into the layers of Lovecraft you've mentioned, but it doesn't ruin the feel or understanding of the story.

I liked the character's slight focus on the black man, and his insistence that he wasn't racist. It wasn't overdone, and it further led credence to the instability and unreliability of the character's narration.

The only error I noticed was no space between the comma and cumulonimbus in "The Friday was a bleak and pitiful day,cumulonimbus clouds hanging from the sky as if to keep watch over us."

Other than that, I struggle to come up with anything resembling critique. Thank you, James. I enjoyed it.

[James]

Mar 6, 2015 15:27:17 GMT -5 Croswynd said:

That was fun to read, and quite silly, as you've mentioned.

Cheers, Tam!

It's nice to know that the story still works even for people who don't really know Lovecraft, and good spot on that comma.

Oh, also, there's an Inklings happening this weekend. You should go and check it out if you have the time.

[Jenny (Reffy)]

*Standing ovation!*

I know a fair amount about HP and I can tell you that this piece was utterly brilliant. My only comment is that you lost some of the huge and broad vocabulary after the first one or two paragraphs, which was a pity. Some of his works needs a thesaurus. That is my only complaint.

[James]

Mar 11, 2015 4:36:02 GMT -5 Jenny (Reffy) said:

*Standing ovation!*

I know a fair amount about HP and I can tell you that this piece was utterly brilliant. My only comment is that you lost some of the huge and broad vocabulary after the first one or two paragraphs, which was a pity. Some of his works needs a thesaurus. That is my only complaint.

Cheers Reffy!

On the Lovecraftian vocabulary, my aim was to have one "ridiculous word" in each paragraph, though I think the last two paragraphs did drop that rule, so good eye!

[Jenny (Reffy)]

I'd aim at having one crazy big word per every other sentence, which would slow down the reading to treacle speed but would be closer to his style. Also, the doom was well portrayed :] The purple-ness was excellent.