|
|
Post by James on Feb 21, 2014 14:54:10 GMT -5
I really like the colony ship drifting lost through space. Perhaps it teeters on the brink of civil war as pressure rises.
What if you were to throw out a fake-out early on? Have the scientist be displaced into someone already on the ship. He works with his girlfriend (her knowing who he is or not) to try and salvage the situation. It all goes to hell. He takes a bullet and dies.
Fade to black.
Comes back into the alien body of someone on another planet. Now, he's lost. He knows the full gravity of what's happening on the ship (there's both technical/resources disaster and human disaster on the horizon). He's not sure if his girlfriend survived his shooting or not.
And he has no idea where he is.
|
|
Allya
Senior Scribe
My Little Monster!
Posts: 2,271
|
Post by Allya on Feb 21, 2014 14:58:21 GMT -5
Don't fear sounding critical. This is exactly the type of discussion I was hoping for.
So for me the main point of the show is to visit alien worlds, cultures, and experiences through their eyes while trying to grasp them with our minds. It could also show the impact of their brief interaction with humans if we were to go with the "alien consciousness temporarily in the human body" concept. I was even thinking that at first the main character isn't sure what's happened. He just knows things don't feel right. In fact, I was thinking about a mid-season or season finale episode where he visits a planet with some sort of hive consciousness (be it plant, bug, what have you) and they detect the "other," a term for which they have no word. While he's doing whatever happens in that episode there is one being from the hive experiencing "alone" for the first time. How does that change the species when he returns? (How do these interactions affect humans?) I was thinking at the end of the episode, right before he leaps, he learns that they had detected another. This information brings fragmented memories of the accident flooding back (perhaps even from the hive because they've shared these images from her mind) and he realizes for the first time that he's lost and so is she.
As to the ship, I think having more of a purpose would be a good idea. I hadn't really fleshed her part out very much and it definitely needs more meat. It would also give him more of a reason to return to his body if she or people she cared about were still in danger. Although, for simplification, something along the lines of the degradation of consciousness after prolonged drifting could provide the same thing. (Or perhaps whomever is minding the store on earth fears that the alien consciousnesses visiting somehow opens up earth to future invasion by virtue of their new knowledge and they are planning to off the main character.)
Basically, the subpolts of the interaction on earth, the girl, and even his eventual realization of his situation and subsequent desire to get home, are all secondary to the main drive of the show which is to explore alien worlds and concepts for the viewer.
Other questions I have though are 1) what makes him leap? 2) I'd like him to eventually regain contact with Oz while still leaping; how? 3) what's his freakin name? 4) Does Oz have ulterior motives back at home or is he just a good guy? 5) If the girl or someone else does work against the main character's actions throughout the show, why?
On the names - I'm not married to them. I liked Ayla because of the lunar / heavenly meaning. I liked Oz because of the "man behind the curtain" connotation as well as the old Germanic meaning of " God's power." I thought the main character's name could have a meaning associated with wandering or traveling...I have no ideas though.
Once the framework of the idea is in place, I'm hoping we can have fun devising new worlds for him to visit and things for him to experience.
|
|
Allya
Senior Scribe
My Little Monster!
Posts: 2,271
|
Post by Allya on Feb 21, 2014 15:00:09 GMT -5
Also, thank you for thinking about and discussing this. It's been kicking around in my mind for awhile but I've been too busy and the "world" has been too big for me to adequately explore all the ins and outs. I can understand why shows have groups of writers.
|
|
|
|
Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Feb 21, 2014 15:16:10 GMT -5
Ok, so, I know I'm going to sound really critical because I keep pointing out things which don't seem to work for me, but I assure you, it's in the interest of quality. I'm not trying to poo-poo the project. Anyhow, here's a couple things I keep getting hung up on and primarily they all lead back to motivation. You've got this base-line idea for a scenario but I'm not seeing any reason to care about it. You've got a scientist quantum-leaping his way around the galaxy in search of both his lost girl friend and a way to "get home." Which is great, but... Why do I, the viewer, want him to get home? What's at stake? Why does it matter? His girlfriend is lost in space, perhaps more lost than he is, and he's looking for her (somehow?); but at the same time bouncing between bodies. This is sort of the same problem you have with alien consciousness back on earth; he can't really take any steps toward finding her because he doesn't even know where he'll wake up tomorrow. It seems like the two story points ("finding her" and "getting home") are sort of at odds with one another, each distracting from the other. Unless they are still linked somehow, how does he expect to have any chance of tracking her down through the entire cosmic expanse? Especially if she's bouncing around as well. My biggest question, though, on the girlfriend issue is; Do -you- know what happened to her? I can understand leaving the viewer in the dark, but you, the writer, -need- to know the answer ahead of time so you can steer the story in the right direction. If you don't, you end up with Lost type situation where you end up making it up as you go and have to reconcile your answer with all the bullshit you conjured in episodes past. Now the question of getting home. Why does he need to get home? I mean, yeah, it'd be nice to see him get back home and live happily ever after but if he doesn't... so what? What are the long term consequences, why is it important that he finds her and gets home? I guess what I'm saying is, your story starts with a whole ship being ruined and all the crew aboard presumably killed, then this guys gets displaced and begins bouncing around the universe... which is a -huge- backdrop. So you've kind of diminished the plight of your protagonist by making everything else so big. He's one guy, why does he matter? Now in the issue of making him a copy... That actually makes it worse. In that case he's a displaced copy of a consciousness, separated from his original who has no reason to assume the copy still exists after the link is severed. But if he's separate for too long he won't be able to re-integrate... so what? Does the original even miss him? I mean, he's a copy, not a piece-of. If I lose a photocopy of an original document, I don't give a shit, I make a new copy. So, you've got a character that -shouldn't- exist, displacing random alien minds and I'm supposed to care about that. I mean, if the copy is lost in space forever; it's probably for the best. Honestly, I care more about the beings having their bodies usurped by some alien techno-ghost than I do about the ghost himself. Which brings me to another issue; if the ghost is a copy, we'll presumably see the original back on earth doing stuff to find his girlfriend as well. Whereas we'll have this non-corporeal character out in space bouncing between bodies... It just seems hard for me to visualize how you're going to communicate that those two entities are the same person. . . but not. But wait! I have a solution that retains the essence of the premise but simplifies it a a touch. Scientist meets girl, they fall in love. But girl signed on for a deep space mission that isn't just some random deep space mission. It's a colony ship, sent to a specific target far away with the intent to colonize. There's a couple hundred people on board this ship; possibly thousands. Girl decides to go as she is not just some random girl; she a smart, quick witted technician whose presence on that ship is nigh-essential. So, Scientist devises a way to check up on her, and the whole mission, using his new astral projection technology; something about distance and radiation or something makes other forms of communication between the ship and earth impossible. During one of these communication sessions, something happens on the ship. Maybe it's hit with some manner of space debris. The ship is crippled, knocked off course, and unable to correct and no way to tell anyone. The ship wasn't designed to support life indefinitely, in time they're doomed. Worse, something went haywire with the astral projection machine in the impact; our scientist is displaced from his body (which is in a semi-comatose sate back on earth). So, now you've got the same elements in play but with motivation. His girlfriend is still lost in space, but instead of doing her own quantum leap, she's on a disabled colony ship trying to keep people alive (more story options!). Our scientist is a displaced soul trying to get home but now he has a real, heavy, reason. He needs to tell someone on earth what happened to the ship so a smaller , faster, rescue mission can be dispatched in time to save these thousand-plus civilians slowly dying out in space. The copy idea was totally off the cuff, so I'm not married to it or anything, but you're actually poo-pooing the exact thing that I find interesting about it. The copy is a copy, sure, but he's also entirely sentient in his own right. If we ever get a handle on mind-uploading in real life, that is how it is going to work; you'll make an identical map of the brain inside a computer, but the meat brain will still be hanging around outside. You put the meat brain in a coma to keep it from changing, and then you add the experiences of the copied brain back in before you wake the meat brain back up. That way there's a single line of continuity: meat brain cedes his "realness" to the digital brain when they diverge, and then they become the same person again when they join. So in the show, because the people at home initially think the astral projection died, they wake the meat brain up in the same state he was in before he went under. The projection wants to get home so he can have his body back, but the fact that there's now two versions of the same individual walking around, with two different sets of memories, creates the question of which one is real, and how they can/should be rejoined. Obviously, it's a different way of looking at the concept. If you want to tell a fun Quantum-Leap-style adventure romp, maybe it's better to leave the heavy philosophy of the mind themes out of it. I just know that it's something I'd watch if it was done well; I'm a sucker for this kind of stuff. And I think it fits with Allya's goal of exploring different alien cultures/modes of consciousness. You get into mind-body questions right off the bat, and you get to watch two versions of the same person become very different people. |
|
|
|
Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Feb 21, 2014 15:18:52 GMT -5
I really like the colony ship drifting lost through space. Perhaps it teeters on the brink of civil war as pressure rises. What if you were to throw out a fake-out early on? Have the scientist be displaced into someone already on the ship. He works with his girlfriend (her knowing who he is or not) to try and salvage the situation. It all goes to hell. He takes a bullet and dies. Fade to black. Comes back into the alien body of someone on another planet. Now, he's lost. He knows the full gravity of what's happening on the ship (there's both technical/resources disaster and human disaster on the horizon). He's not sure if his girlfriend survived his shooting or not. And he has no idea where he is. Maybe he has a surrogate body in the ship that he jumps into when he needs to communicate with the crew. Perhaps that body is killed and that's why he's now lost in transition. Nothing wrong with the machine, they just never accounted for what happens the consciousness if the surrogate body dies. So, the astral projection machine didn't malfunction at all, but there's only the one machine, it's keeping his original body alive and it requires a "vacant" surrogate at the other end which is why they can't just hook someone else to it. |
|
Allya
Senior Scribe
My Little Monster!
Posts: 2,271
|
Post by Allya on Feb 21, 2014 15:37:35 GMT -5
Oooh. A meat suit on the ship. If we went that sort of route, what happens to the alien consciousness while they're inhabited? I really want to explore that alien view of humanity/humanity's reaction as well; I just don't care overmuch how it's accomplished. Can two consciousnesses occupy the same body at once? Could they just be a pissed off passenger of the hijacked body?
|
|
|
|
Post by James on Feb 21, 2014 15:47:47 GMT -5
Oooh. A meat suit on the ship. If we went that sort of route, what happens to the alien consciousness while they're inhabited? I really want to explore that alien view of humanity/humanity's reaction as well; I just don't care overmuch how it's accomplished. Can two consciousnesses occupy the same body at once? Could they just be a pissed off passenger of the hijacked body? In a book? Yeah. On screen? You're going to have to be really creative to not end up with cheesy voiceovers. I don't know if you want to consider the practicalities of working on screen as an exercise of creativity or just leave it. |
|
|
|
Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Feb 21, 2014 15:53:54 GMT -5
You don't need voiceovers. You could shoot it like Gaius and Head-Six in Battlestar. Just show both characters on screen at once, and they can converse normally, but have it understood that only the dominant personality is visible to others.
It does sort of make Oz redundant, though, since now you have two bodyless tour guide characters.
|
|
|
|
Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Feb 21, 2014 15:54:31 GMT -5
Oooh. A meat suit on the ship. If we went that sort of route, what happens to the alien consciousness while they're inhabited? I really want to explore that alien view of humanity/humanity's reaction as well; I just don't care overmuch how it's accomplished. Can two consciousnesses occupy the same body at once? Could they just be a pissed off passenger of the hijacked body? Perhaps he can only transfer to suitably "vacant" bodies. Ie: Alien bodies which are also unconscious or comatose; so the new bodies he's jumping into are typically beings who recently suffered an accident, or woken from a coma or other type situation. This give him something of an excuse for being different. "Oh, I must have hit my head pretty hard." I think maybe the alien consciousness -should- remain in the body, if only in the background (unconscious/comatose), and perhaps he can use those latent/dormant memories to know things like language and how to walk and such. |
|
|
|
Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Feb 21, 2014 15:56:28 GMT -5
Perhaps he can only transfer to suitably "vacant" bodies. Ie: Alien bodies which are also unconscious or comatose; so the new bodies he's jumping into are typically beings who recently suffered an accident, or woken from a coma or other type situation. Orrrrr ..... |
|
|
|
Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Feb 21, 2014 15:57:35 GMT -5
Perhaps he can only transfer to suitably "vacant" bodies. Ie: Alien bodies which are also unconscious or comatose; so the new bodies he's jumping into are typically beings who recently suffered an accident, or woken from a coma or other type situation. Orrrrr ..... Yes, he bounces around the universe inhabiting the bodies of retarded aliens. Oh shit, that's funnier than it should be. How would we even know? He'd be all trying to fit in, and other aliens would be keeping their distance at the grocery store and shit... lol. That's fucked up. |
|
|
|
Post by Kaez on Feb 21, 2014 16:03:29 GMT -5
Ok, so, I know I'm going to sound really critical because I keep pointing out things which don't seem to work for me, but I assure you, it's in the interest of quality. I'm not trying to poo-poo the project. Anyhow, here's a couple things I keep getting hung up on and primarily they all lead back to motivation. You've got this base-line idea for a scenario but I'm not seeing any reason to care about it. You've got a scientist quantum-leaping his way around the galaxy in search of both his lost girl friend and a way to "get home." Which is great, but... Why do I, the viewer, want him to get home? What's at stake? Why does it matter? His girlfriend is lost in space, perhaps more lost than he is, and he's looking for her (somehow?); but at the same time bouncing between bodies. This is sort of the same problem you have with alien consciousness back on earth; he can't really take any steps toward finding her because he doesn't even know where he'll wake up tomorrow. It seems like the two story points ("finding her" and "getting home") are sort of at odds with one another, each distracting from the other. Unless they are still linked somehow, how does he expect to have any chance of tracking her down through the entire cosmic expanse? Especially if she's bouncing around as well. My biggest question, though, on the girlfriend issue is; Do -you- know what happened to her? I can understand leaving the viewer in the dark, but you, the writer, -need- to know the answer ahead of time so you can steer the story in the right direction. If you don't, you end up with Lost type situation where you end up making it up as you go and have to reconcile your answer with all the bullshit you conjured in episodes past. Now the question of getting home. Why does he need to get home? I mean, yeah, it'd be nice to see him get back home and live happily ever after but if he doesn't... so what? What are the long term consequences, why is it important that he finds her and gets home? I guess what I'm saying is, your story starts with a whole ship being ruined and all the crew aboard presumably killed, then this guys gets displaced and begins bouncing around the universe... which is a -huge- backdrop. So you've kind of diminished the plight of your protagonist by making everything else so big. He's one guy, why does he matter? Now in the issue of making him a copy... That actually makes it worse. In that case he's a displaced copy of a consciousness, separated from his original who has no reason to assume the copy still exists after the link is severed. But if he's separate for too long he won't be able to re-integrate... so what? Does the original even miss him? I mean, he's a copy, not a piece-of. If I lose a photocopy of an original document, I don't give a shit, I make a new copy. So, you've got a character that -shouldn't- exist, displacing random alien minds and I'm supposed to care about that. I mean, if the copy is lost in space forever; it's probably for the best. Honestly, I care more about the beings having their bodies usurped by some alien techno-ghost than I do about the ghost himself. Which brings me to another issue; if the ghost is a copy, we'll presumably see the original back on earth doing stuff to find his girlfriend as well. Whereas we'll have this non-corporeal character out in space bouncing between bodies... It just seems hard for me to visualize how you're going to communicate that those two entities are the same person. . . but not. But wait! I have a solution that retains the essence of the premise but simplifies it a a touch. Scientist meets girl, they fall in love. But girl signed on for a deep space mission that isn't just some random deep space mission. It's a colony ship, sent to a specific target far away with the intent to colonize. There's a couple hundred people on board this ship; possibly thousands. Girl decides to go as she is not just some random girl; she a smart, quick witted technician whose presence on that ship is nigh-essential. So, Scientist devises a way to check up on her, and the whole mission, using his new astral projection technology; something about distance and radiation or something makes other forms of communication between the ship and earth impossible. During one of these communication sessions, something happens on the ship. Maybe it's hit with some manner of space debris. The ship is crippled, knocked off course, and unable to correct and no way to tell anyone. The ship wasn't designed to support life indefinitely, in time they're doomed. Worse, something went haywire with the astral projection machine in the impact; our scientist is displaced from his body (which is in a semi-comatose sate back on earth). So, now you've got the same elements in play but with motivation. His girlfriend is still lost in space, but instead of doing her own quantum leap, she's on a disabled colony ship trying to keep people alive (more story options!). Our scientist is a displaced soul trying to get home but now he has a real, heavy, reason. He needs to tell someone on earth what happened to the ship so a smaller , faster, rescue mission can be dispatched in time to save these thousand-plus civilians slowly dying out in space. Viewers are writing nerdy critiques. SyFy Channel approval reaches Level 2. |
|
Allya
Senior Scribe
My Little Monster!
Posts: 2,271
|
Post by Allya on Feb 21, 2014 16:04:36 GMT -5
Limiting leaps into suitably unconscious hosts could get limiting rather quickly. However, leaving the alien consciousness in the body as a backseat observer / commenter could also provide the impetus for the next "leap" as they wrestle back control.
I think Oz's role would have to change but may not be redundant. He may also have to be moved to the ship.
Also, is it too corny for our traveler to build up a reputation as he goes a la "The Doctor"?
|
|
|
|
Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Feb 21, 2014 16:10:22 GMT -5
Also, is it too corny for our traveler to build up a reputation as he goes a la "The Doctor"? I think that might be getting ahead of yourself a bit. |
|
|
|
Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Feb 21, 2014 16:21:24 GMT -5
Also, yeah, I'm trying to determine what Oz's role would be.
He's basically back on Earth where his buddy went into transfer-sleep and never woke up.
They don't know there's anything wrong with the ship, all they know is Dr. Scienceman can't be brought out of his sleep.
I'm assuming they have some manner of brain monitor so perhaps they can tell that he's still out there and kicking somewhere which is why they don't just unplug him... Maybe their monitors can pick up the alien consciousness as well?
You know, like he's still got a very thin tether to his orignal body, but it's just not strong enough to drag him back... Like trying to climb a rope that can't support your weight.
|
|
