Andy88
Junior Scribe
Posts: 36
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Post by Andy88 on Apr 5, 2012 19:45:14 GMT -5
Hello, just wanted some feedback on a little project I'd been working on. It is a long story but I have divided them into smaller chapters and separate passages (POVs). Seeing as this is an early rough draft, feel free to let loose everything you think is wrong with this text.
skip to last post for file attachment
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Andy88
Junior Scribe
Posts: 36
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Post by Andy88 on Apr 5, 2012 19:53:06 GMT -5
P.S. I changed the name of my main antagonist from "Natalie" to "Alicia." If you see any random 'Natalie' sticking out let me know so I can edit it out.
P.P.S. And yes, I am more than well aware that the text is not complete, but I'd like feedback for the parts I have finished writing first, don't want to start something bad and write 200 pages of the crap.
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Post by J.O.N ((Dragonwing)) on Apr 5, 2012 20:07:32 GMT -5
P.S. I changed the name of my main antagonist from "Natalie" to "Alicia." If you see any random 'Natalie' sticking out let me know so I can edit it out. Ctrl + F "Natalie" will help you.  |
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Andy88
Junior Scribe
Posts: 36
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Post by Andy88 on Apr 5, 2012 20:09:30 GMT -5
P.S. I changed the name of my main antagonist from "Natalie" to "Alicia." If you see any random 'Natalie' sticking out let me know so I can edit it out. Ctrl + F "Natalie" will help you. Wow... I'm an idiot. Thanks, finished editing it out on my master copy. |
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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Apr 5, 2012 21:42:11 GMT -5
Is your Word doc version double spaced? You should just upload the file. More people would be likely to read it than the current wall of text form. For whatever reason, it's just mentally exhausting reading something single spaced like that on a website.
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Andy88
Junior Scribe
Posts: 36
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Post by Andy88 on Apr 5, 2012 21:44:52 GMT -5
Yea... plain text doesn't really space properly, my bad. Attachments:
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Andy88
Junior Scribe
Posts: 36
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Post by Andy88 on Apr 12, 2012 13:44:02 GMT -5
I've made several changes from the last draft so I'm re-uploading. One important note is that I deleted the prologue as it felt a bit out of place. Don't worry, I'm still integrating the content of that chapter into the story. P.S. the title isn't final, in fact it probably sucks so just disregard it.  Attachments:
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Andy88
Junior Scribe
Posts: 36
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Post by Andy88 on Apr 15, 2012 22:48:07 GMT -5
Hmm, that awful eh?
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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Apr 15, 2012 22:59:16 GMT -5
Not at all. I'll be blunt, though: you're new around here and your story is 16,000 words long. I'm afraid not many people are going to be willing to take the time to read the whole thing. Especially given that its probably in a fairly unpolished form at the moment. I know it sounds cliquey and unprofessional, but you only really have the cache right now to ask people to risk their time on reading something fairly short. Honestly, even for most of the site regulars, I'm not going to help edit 54 pages unless they specifically ask me as a favour.
Do you have any specific parts of this story that you want feedback on? Maybe a particular scene that you were proud of or had trouble with? Or maybe some shorter fiction that you just feel like sharing?
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Andy88
Junior Scribe
Posts: 36
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Post by Andy88 on Apr 16, 2012 9:28:44 GMT -5
Thanks for the pointer. In that case, I'll just start pulling some excerpts I'm insecure about and ask for edits, probably in a new thread.
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