Inkdrinker's Stuff

[Inkdrinker]

This thread is now where I'm gonna throw all my stuff. If you want to look at my stuff and comment about it, do that. Here is the first of my stuffs:


Ver was about to head out into the city, as he did everyday, every week. Mostly. He went first to the eatery for some FOOD brand edible products. He sat down and looked over the menu, deciding on a MEAT with POTATOES and some VEGTABLES on the side. After lunch he treated himself to a piece of CAKE, and washed it all down with a standard large glass of MILK. He took the bus to work. It was all very stale, very the same. Nothing changes on his ride to work, nothing changes at work, nothing changes at dinner (MEAT, POTATOES and VEGTABLES) and not much changes at home either.
This continues until Tuesday when he spots a strange man at the eatery. He wears colorful clothing, rather then the recommended Grey. He tries to order a "hamburger with yam fries" and gets a strange stare and no response. He looked angry. Even though anger was abolished -along with all the other emotions- in 2134. The man was unique, a trait frowned upon, or would be frowned upon if people were allowed to feel displeasure.
Inspiration hit Ver for the first time ever, he didn't know what to do. Should he turn himself in? Ignore it? Follow it? He had never felt this way before, he wanted to build, to create. For the first time in recorded history since 2134, Ver quit his job and made a FRUIT and CREAM smoothie of all things. He ran to the local allstore and purchased parts of all shapes and sizes, "One of everything!" he shouted.
Sparks fly and days pass. He's done it, he doesn't know what he did or what he made but he knows he's done. He winds this new mechanical man and it slowly comes to life. "Hello," it says "I'm COG." "Ver," he replies "nice to meet you." COG reaches his clockwork hand out and Ver takes it, shakes it. COG's emotion meter raises from curious to happy.
Thump thump. Knock knock. Ver didn't know what to do, someone must have told the men-in-uniform about his spout of creativity. "Quick! Get in the closet and don't make a sound!" COG's emotion meter turned from happy to confused, "I do not understand but i will comply." COG ducked into the closet. "Open up we've got a 'motion report from this house." A not unusually large man-in-uniform stepped through the door and looked around. COG's emotion meter dropped down to frightened.
"All right I don't see anything out of the ordinary, but I'm still going to have to take you in to be questioned. You have the right to remain blank, anything you show can and will be used against you. Get in the car." Ver did. The ride was nothing special. COG wondered what happened to Ver. Frightened slides to puzzled (right above confused.) COG stepped out of the closet and looked around, no sign of Ver.
Cog did find one thing though: a search warrant dropped by the man-in-uniform. This made COG's emotion meter move from clueless to has-a-clue. COG knew what he had to do. COG slipped through the back window and out into the alley. COG scaled the building (has-a-clue to determined.) Hopping from one rooftop to the next COG slowly made his way to the men-in-uniform station.
COG made it there just as Ver got out of the car. Ver was in handcuffs, walking slowly towards the station doors. COG's emotion meter flew from determined to resourceful. COG grabbed a chain from a nearby... he didn't know what to call it, it looked a little like a well and a little like an elevator. COG hooked the chain to the edge of the rooftop and swung down, scooping up Ver just in time. The men-in-uniform didn't even seem to notice, they just ignored it. "H-hah!" Ver laughed, delighted as the swung up and COG grabbed the side of a building and let go of the chain. COG climbed with Ver in one hand as his emotion meter turned to delighted as well.
They ran and climbed through this urban jungle for seemingly forever. After a while they found it: the forest. Many saw their journey through the city and were changed forever. Creativity sprung up every which place. The men-in-uniform struggled to plug the leaks. They were never fast enough to catch every one at once. First color-cults then full on individuals began appearing. The city was in chaos. All because of one man and his strange invention.

[Matteo ((Taed))]

Well, that was pretty entertaining and you have David Tennant in your avatar, so I guess I can forgive the fact that it's a wall of text and that it briefly switches from past to present tense. Your grammar was actually decent, although I would suggest that in the future you double space between paragraphs. It's kind of an unspoken rule around here. Makes things much more readable.

Anyway, welcome to the site new human. I'd usually point you towards some community writing activities, but we don't have many of them going on right now except for The Arena, which unfortunately just started so it's too late for you to join in. If you just want to talk you can head over to the Writer's Lounge board (second from the bottom on the main page). There's a Writing Discussion thread for .... writing discussion. And other threads for just about everything else you can think of.

Oh, and if the site's organization is a bit hard for you to get the hang of, try the New Topics button at the top of the page. It will show you what people are talking about right now. Feel free to jump in. Although, fair warning, I'm being super nice right now but we're actually kind of a bunch of bastards. Don't take anything anyone says too seriously. Enjoy!

[Inkdrinker]

Thanks for the input and welcome, though I could have sworn i paragraphed it... anyway I'll work on it!

[James]

Jan 8, 2012 13:48:20 GMT -5 Inkdrinker said:

Thanks for the input and welcome, though I could have sworn i paragraphed it... anyway I'll work on it!

Proboards doesn't recognise indentations done on MS Word or any other type of software. That's why we tend to use double space paragraphs around here.

And I second Taed's approval for the Tennant avatar and also for having one of my favourite XKCD comics as your signature. Taed basically covered everything else so... welcome!

[Matteo ((Taed))]

Jan 8, 2012 14:15:11 GMT -5 James said:

Proboards doesn't recognise indentations done on MS Word or any other type of software.

Oh
	really,
Agro?

[James]

Jan 8, 2012 14:25:54 GMT -5 Matteo ((Taed)) said:

Jan 8, 2012 14:15:11 GMT -5 James said:

Proboards doesn't recognise indentations done on MS Word or any other type of software.

Oh
really,
Agro?

... that seems like an overly large indent.

[Matteo ((Taed))]

Jan 8, 2012 14:28:17 GMT -5 James said:

Jan 8, 2012 14:25:54 GMT -5 Matteo ((Taed)) said:

Oh
really,
Agro?

... that seems like an overly large indent.

That
      can
 be
    easily
         fixed.

[James]

... I know the space button when I see it, Taed. We should also probably stop de-railing this poor guy's thread.

[Matteo ((Taed))]

Jan 8, 2012 14:33:21 GMT -5 James said:

... I know the space button when I see it, Taed.

Of course you do, it's the one covered in chicken blood.

And yes, let's stop. So that I can have the last word.

[Inkdrinker]

Jan 8, 2012 14:15:11 GMT -5 James said:

Jan 8, 2012 13:48:20 GMT -5 Inkdrinker said:

Thanks for the input and welcome, though I could have sworn i paragraphed it... anyway I'll work on it!

Proboards doesn't recognise indentations done on MS Word or any other type of software.

I see. Good to know, thanks for the info. Also you two are are hilarious.

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

Jan 8, 2012 11:23:54 GMT -5 Matteo ((Taed)) said:

I'd usually point you towards some community writing activities, but we don't have many of them going on right now except for The Arena, which unfortunately just started so it's too late for you to join in.

But it's not too late to become involved in the judging process since it -is- open to the public and all.

[Jenny (Reffy)]

Hey. Not much of a comment or review but I really liked this. It was very interesting and would make a wonderful cyberpunk fairy-tale story with some fleshing out. Try slowing it down but keeping the whismical touch, which you nailed :]

[Inkdrinker]

Jan 14, 2012 14:23:49 GMT -5 Jenny (Reffy) said:

Hey. Not much of a comment or review but I really liked this. It was very interesting and would make a wonderful cyberpunk fairy-tale story with some fleshing out. Try slowing it down but keeping the whismical touch, which you nailed :]

Glad you like it. I did rush it a bit didn't I? I tend to do that, my brain is all about efficiency: finish it as fast as possible. It's a hard habit to break.

[Inkdrinker]

Here are a couple of similar (really short) stories.

Solarei's Tumble:


"No, no, no, that simply will not do," the man argued. The man in question was the CEO of The United International Something-er-ather. It was all a bunch of junk if you ask me. "Bigger! Taller!" Screamed the man, but the other just shook his head and sighed. I had to step in, as the founder of Solarei industries, my word was law. Solarei dabbled in just about everything. We were all here to discuss the newest addition to the New Cintran skyline: Tremle Tower Two. Or, failing that, throw chairs across the room in rage as they were currently doing. I've had enough of these two, time to make my move. "Look, get rid of that third viewing platform, rotate the top ninety degrees, throw a couple more windows in, and put the receiver right along the side of the building!" I said. UIS and the second man (I never did catch his name) jumped at my sudden outburst. They watched as the hologram shaped itself into what had been said. "It's... perfect," They said in unison. "Yes, it is," I agreed.


It was perfect. But that didn't make me feel any better. I slogged in and out of meetings all afternoon. It was late evening now. I had a terrible head-ache. I decided to skip my usual routine of not sleeping and club surfing by going to bed early. Or rather two thirty in the morning. Try as I might sleep eluded me at every turn. For the third day in a row I didn't sleep a wink. I stumbled out of bed, hair in tatters and still wearing my suit. A shot of vodka in my coffee was just what I needed. I needed it but it seemed to have no effect after three sleepless nights. Out the door and down the elevator. I checked my appointments for the day: a four hour meeting about the up coming winter Olympics two months away, and a session with my therapist. To hell with that, it's Christmas eve, I'm going home! To my real home, not the countless penthouses and mansions.


I tried to hail a cab but stumbled into the street instead. A car stopped a hair away from breaking my ribcage. Obscenities were shouted by both parties. I continued stumbling along for three blocks, until i succeeded at getting a cab. "Bwah gwamf f-fer..." I tried to say to the driver. I tried again but he just stared at me with a look of worry on his face. I sighed and removed a business card and pen from my pocket. J. Solarei it read, in a quite elegant font. 619 fern street, I scribbled. The driver nodded and we were off.

It was one of the oldest streets this side of the city. A few old houses still clung to it, only place in the city you could still see them. This was because the district it was located in was too poor to even pay for new housing. We pulled up in front of the house, my house. It was in shambles. It was always in shambles it seemed, not quite as bad as now of course, but I have no childhood memory of it ever being in good condition. I paid the driver a handful of bills and got out of the car. He drove away. I walked up to the door and tried to open it: it was locked. I could have easily kicked it open but I had too much respect for the place. I checked in the small birdhouse we used to keep it in, and, sure enough the spare key was still there, rusty as ever. I unlocked the door and walked inside.


Dog. They used to call me dog. So many years ago on my first Christmas they called me that. All year my brothers had begged and pleaded for a puppy. They used what little allowance they had and got a dog bed. However, come Christmas day, they did not get a puppy. They opened the box with air holes with glee only to find me. I was only a small baby, born a few days ago in the hospital. My brothers had stayed home for a few nights with my older sister there to watch them as I was born. They were not happy with me, I was not there puppy. So they called me dog. They name stuck with me for my entire childhood. For the first few years of my life I even thought it was name. I had slept in a small closet on the dog bed, it was the only spare room we had. Once I grew old enough to know that my name was in fact, not dog, but James, I despised the nick-name. When I reached my fifteenth year I fled. I founded Solarei industries and here I am: top of the world.


I remembered all this as I walked to my old 'room'. I opened the door and had to crouch because the ceiling was so low. I fell over on to the old dog bed. The tears came soft at first, but became hard and steady. I threw my jacket off, then my shirt, belt, pants, until I was naked. I sobbed and shook in the cold dark room. It was my room though. I reached for a loose floorboard I used to hide things under and pried it open. I grasped it's contents: a bottle of old moonshine from a long forgotten neighbor. I opened it and smelled it. It smelled too awful to drink, so I merely poured it over myself. I lie there for countless hours and finally drifted into sleep.

I awoke to find I had slept until the evening of the next day. I got up, slowly, and began to collect my clothing and put it back on. I was sore all over. I walked out of the closet, hitting my head on the low ceiling I had forgot about. I broke into a sprint as soon as I reached the sidewalk. All the way back into the city square I ran. I couldn't stop fast enough and tumbled into the fountain, landing head first, my forehead split open and blood spilled out into the cool water of the fountain. The feeling was wonderful; a feeling of calm and belonging swept over me. I wanted this, but the doctors wouldn't let me slip away. I lie here now in a hospital bed, gauze wrappings around my head. Almost at peace.


Pages From a Diary Found in a Shoe Box in The Backpack of a Dead Man Floating in The Ocean at The End of the World:


I don't know what to write about so I'll write about you. And me. Us i suppose. You are ancient, yet still beautiful. At least two billion years of age. Me, I am young, halfway to twenty-six. You are as tall as the highest mountain, and as deep as the lowest ocean trench. I am five foot two, rather short. You have many names: Gaia, mother, world, globe.


You are slowly becoming corrupt. I am too. You dress in a thick layer of fog. I can see through this veil sometimes and see the true, green you. You carry much responsibility, cites on your back. I watch over only those close to me. You are tired but not weak.


You've let yourself go. I've lost weight, too much actually. You struggled at first but you are accepting now. I still struggle. You've made some friends to help carry the burden of civilization. I've lost most of mine. You are slowly becoming domesticated. It seems I'm going wild.


You've been used, hurt, abused, you're thinking of giving up. I've also been hurt, shaken, but I'm only more determined. You have lost much of your charm and beauty to the violence. I never had much of either. We could both use a drink.

You are done with all of this. I am taking the first step to a new life, or nothing at all. You cannot take it anymore, broken beyond repair. My step turns into a fall. You submit. I also submit, but only to the wind and the spray. You are dead. I hit the rocky water. Your name was Earth. I am dead.

[Jenny (Reffy)]

Didn't read all of it - only the diary pages, which is a fun idea!

You are slowly becoming corrupt. I am too. You dress in a thick layer of fog. I can see through this veil sometimes and see the true, green you. You carry much responsibility, cites on your back. I watch over only those close to me. You are tired but not weak.

Loved this. It really stuck with me. Enough that I was compelled just to tell you that I liked it. The others didn't have the same profoundness but were on a similiar theme - maybe too much of a similiar theme? It was like you were saying the same thing time and again but only one really hit me. It was beautiful but not over-flowery and a stark comparison between the two.