Post by athelstan on Nov 27, 2011 20:24:54 GMT -5
Lord my God, forgive me my trespasses, for I have taken Your burning sword in hand and laid down justice upon the wicked, and I know not if I am truly to be the vessel of Your will. If I presumed too much of You, then let me be cast upon the unflinching spears of the law; but if I acted rightly, then, I ask that You strengthen my heart and my mind in this strange time. O Holy Spirit, who descended in tongues of fire: give me the power that I might speak the truth here, and not be shaken by the crooked roads of the Adversary that I saw unfolding this night.
Who will believe this? Yet I saw it all, and I must speak of it, or I think that I shall believe myself a madman as time passes. How frail is a mortal before the dreadful command of the Adversary, before Your righteous might! I am but a feather on Your breath, and the wonders that You have seen fit to show me do indeed surpass what I had ever known.
So. I shall begin, as it began, with the waking in the morning. The dews lay upon the fields and the sky was yet untouched by sunlight: the crescent moon was disappearing behind a western bank of clouds. The day opened before me, and the wind was in the south, bringing a warm blast from out of Georgia. I heard them singing, the slaves Your children, as they arose from their cabins. Near my house, there was Adam Fleischer quietly kissing his wife goodbye and putting his boots on, and far off, there was the light in Sutherland House from Mister Edwards’ office: I never did learn how early he woke in the morning, or if he ever slept at all.
At my side was the whip, hatefully coiled. Over my head was the sky, slowly awakening with eastern fire. If I had known what was to come, perhaps I would have broken and fled from Sutherland Fields. Thanks be to You that You did not let me indulge my cowardice thus.
“Kay. You did aks me what been done at Suvahland Fie’ds so I’m a-te’ you aw de troof dat I be knowin’ of it. Ah’m a-gonna te’ you white men de thangs you been done forgot ‘bout de wuld and all God creation, en mebbe you ain’t gonna believe nufin’ Ah gonna say but Ah’m a-declayuh it nonevuhless ’cause you be needin’ t’ heeyuh en t’ heed dese wuhds. But you ain’t nevuh gonna ca’ me a cowahd agin when you be hearin’ what I gots t’ say.
“Monday mo’nin’ it was, en tayuhd me done drug mahself up fo’ de wuhk. Aw de naht befoh we been done dancin’ en singin’ to de Lawd aroun’ de fiyuh, en attuh de ‘joicin’, Ah allus do fee’ limp en he’pless as a kitten. But de wuhk gots t’ git done, en so up Ah went, out in de Ehpril mo’nin’ dew en cool ai’, widduh fi’st bi’ds aw callin’ out to de Lawd en sayin’, “Praise be! Praise be!” But us nigguhs, we can’t sing fo’ de rahsin’ sun: we gots t’ be wuhkin’. We lucky in Sahf Car’lahna, fo’ I done hear it said dat in Alabama o’ Miss’ippi de ovuhseeyuhs wuhk de nigguhs hahd aw deh, dawn t’ dusk, wiv cotton so hungreh fo’ sweat en aw.
“On Suvahland Fie’ds, we ain’t wuhk fo’ no ovuhseeyuh’s pet on de head but fo’ de task. Missuh Edwahds, he kep’ his ovuhseeyuhs ‘cause he did fee’ dat widdout dem one deh we was gonna rahs up en tehk his head, Ah guess. Pe’haps he thought dem ovuhseeyuhs loya’. Tuhns out dat Missuh Edwahds ain’t know nufin’ ‘bout a slave rahsin’ till he done get one!” [Laughter]
The slaves set out to do their tasks, each to their individual teams. That day, for some reason, they impressed me especially strongly. All sixty of them marching from the cabins never failed to impress me, but for some reason, today I sat and watched all of them go by without even turning my head, smiling and humming as they went past me. They went silent when they passed Adam, though, keeping their eyes downcast and their voices silent. I did not notice Israel then, for I was too distracted by my own inner contest to control my passions as all of them went filing by with their strong bodies. O Lord, purity is eternally yours!
Adam went out to follow the men-folk (“bucks,” he would always be calling them) to their tasks, while I went along with the women; next day, it would be the reverse. It was hoeing work, readying the soil for planting now that things were growing and green again. I confess that I do not recall much of what happened then, for I had begun to feel a strangeness sitting upon me, a disagreeable twinge in my thoughts whose source I did not know. I shrugged it off with some success, though, as I focused my energies upon watching their work. When I watched them and kept count of their efforts, they sang quickly, keeping the time with their rhythms with one of their old Negro stories from pagan Africa. They used few lyrics, but I learned enough of the Signifying Monkey’s escapades to make my ears burn.
The sun lifted as they worked, catching on their cotton clothes and bare black feet. I walked my steady pace along the acres as they dug and hoed and sang, cutting away the first of the weeds to rise up. Yet for all the peace and beauty about me, there was that strangeness perched upon me like some imp, making me unsteady and worried. I walked and watched, but I did not venture and I did not see. Now here I write, knowing at last the truth behind it, but then, it was still an enigmatic irritation, not more than that. Perhaps it was Your warning, Lord. Perhaps if I had heeded it sooner, much would have gone otherwise.
“Fleishuh, he a bastuhd, allus tellin’ us, ‘You nigguhs call me mah raht nehm or Ah’m gonna give you a lick. Missuh Fleishuh!’ he done say it, ‘Not Missuh Flahshuh.’ We aw did wuhk de fie’ds en poun’ de o’d rice dat mo’nin’, but wit Fleishuh in charge, we wasn’t singin’: he too angry a man, crouchin’ en rubbin’ his thumbs ovuh de whip lahk he was jis’ waitin’ t’ get it out en dancin’ ‘cross ou’ backs. But we kep’ ou’se’ves hush as de grehv, en we did lissen t’ de bi’ds en de wind in de willows in deyuh new dress.
“When Ah was wuhkin’ at de mo’ta’ en poundin’ de rice, Ah done sta’t feelin’ strange in mah skin, lahk deyuh was somefin’ unduh mah hide all scritchin’ aroun’ in deyuh. Ah knew it ain’t no chigguh o’ nuffin’ down deyuh ‘cause I been allus good wit washin’ mah skin clean en drah in de sun, but Ah fe’t it crawlin’ in mah thoughts en in mah flesh en I thought to mahse’f, ‘Israel, you lissenin’ to de Lawd?’ We allus was sayin’ dat de Lawd give signs in dreams an’ in ovuh strange wehs. So Ah said when I done poun’ de rice, ‘Lawd, give me ahs t’ see and ea’s to heeyuh.’ He ain’t done say nuffin’ in wuhds, but de Lawd ain’t need no wuhds, foh he speak wit ev’reh drop of rain en ev’reh glittuh of sun.
“While Ah was wuhkin’ aweh at de rice, Fleishuh got hisself up t’ his feet en he did walk ovuh t’ one of de nigguhs diggin’ at de fie’d en he said, “Ah you slackenin’, boy?” En de nigguh, Black Ben, done shehk his head en say, ‘No suh, no I be wuhkin’ hahd at dis fie’d hyuh, Ah jis’ be feelin’ sore in mah ahms.’ En Missuh Fleishuh done say, ‘You’re feelin’ sore, boy? De spring is on en de crops ah bein’ sown; you think you can jis’ do it like you’re an o’d en weary man? Ah’ll make you sore enough!’ En he done tehk out his lash and it was dancin’ ‘cross Old Ben’s back lahk a se’pent. We done wuhk faste’ den, but Ah fe’t the creepin’ in mah skin en Ah knew dat de Lawd was breavin’ down mah neck en sayin’, ‘Lissen mah son! Lissen, for Ah gonna give you a wuhk dis day greatuh den any you ever known befo'.’”
We were always famous at Sutherland Fields for how hard our Negroes worked at their tasks. Though it was an April day, and thus the sun was gentle even at its noontide height, they all made sure to finish well before two o’clock in the afternoon, and set themselves to eating their luncheon. They would sit in circles by their cabins and mingle, while Fleischer would stump off to his house, always with that same relieved expression at being free of his obligation to look after the slaves. For me, though, the confines of a house had no appeal. I took my bread and bowl of stew, and I went out along the fields with the wind in my face. It was turning out to be a cool day for April, and the wind had changed from the south to the northeast.
I sat beside the pond, not yet garbed with duckweed or crowned with lilies, but ruffled with the breeze, lapping softly at its banks. I leaned against a willow and ate, thanking You that You had not yet sent forth your swarms of biting things that would make this pastime impossible, come summer. It seemed that the strangeness of spirit that had hung upon me earlier had fled away, and I was left alone to my contemplations along the banks of that pond. I mouthed a brief praise to You, my Lord, for this rest that was upon me and did give me comfort and strength. Perhaps I dozed there under the tree, for I was glad to be done pacing back and forth and watching the slaves with a hawk’s eyes. I was in safety, I had rest, I was quiet. Yet trouble came.
It was when I opened my eyes that I saw Israel. He had always been one of the stranger Negroes, for when I would watch their dances and spiritual songs from afar, he was the one who would dance and holler as “the Spirit came upon him.” He would sometimes stare about with his big black eyes when I was overseeing, and he would look at me and smile in such a toothy way that I could not help but to smile back. He was always dancing and playing about after work was done, so buoyant and full of life, as though he was free. But today he was at the side of the pond, on his hands and knees, looking over the edge into the waters, his eyes wide. He seemed strange to me, all seized up and tight with tension, as though had seen something greatly fearful that had put him all into worry; and I, too, was worried to see him thus.
I got up slightly, to greet him and to ask him what he was doing here and why he was acting so strangely. But Lord, You came down in all Your might upon him, and he fell, arms flailing, into the waters.
“When ou’ wuhk was all done we carrehd Black Ben back t’ de cabins en let him rest on his belly t’ let his back breave and be coo’ed by de spring ai’, en we was happy t’ see Fleishuh go, we was hatin’ him so. Now de wuhk was done fo’ de day en we went to ou’ places en we eht and tawked. Ah was sittin’ bah mah mamma, en she was mixin’ up a puddin’ of co’n in a clay pot fo’ de lunch, en she done say t’ me, ‘Israel, why you so pale en queer?’
“En Ah done muttah, ‘It nuffin’, mamma,’ but den I did staht t’ trem’le en t’ shehk en she done say, ‘You hush now en you res’!’ Fo’ she was thinkin’ dat Ah was troubled bah de blows Ah done see on Black Ben. En de ovuhs looked at me all queer-like. But Ah was feelin’ somefin’ else on me, en I got to mah feet en said, ‘Ah needs a wawk.’ So Ah went out from de cabins, out unduh de trees, en Ah ran my han’s ovuh de bahk en Ah said, ‘Lawd, what you tryin’ to say t’ me?’
“Ah came in tahm to de sho’es of de frog-pon’, en Ah saw de ovuhseeyuh, Willis Trappuh, dozin’ by de roots of a willow, wit’ his eyes close en his han’s folded ovuh his stomach. He always seemed so distant when he was watchin’ us, en it always strange t’ git close t’ someone asleep you nevuh want t’ go nea’ when dey awake. Ah step by him ca’efully en wit’ no noise till Ah done git raht up to de sho’es of de pon’, en den Ah got down close to de groun’ en Ah look down into de watuh en Ah saw mah own black fehs lookin’ up at me. But den I saw moh, en moh, lahts en shapes en a burnin’ swo’d rahsin’ from my han’. En Ah did aks de Lawd, “What tas’ you given me, o God?” En den Ah saw it: a thousan’ ahms reachin’ out, a thousan’ eyes gazin’ upon me. En Ah was struck wit’ horro’, en Ah beat at de watuh wit’ ma han’s to keep it aweh, en splash! Ah fell raht into de watuh. But no soonuh had Ah begun t’ choke en t’ gasp down deyuh, still all shakin’ wit’ fea’ en horro’, when Ah fe’t two han’s grip mah shoulde’s like a stee’ trap, en drag me back out onto de sho’es of de pon’, en Ah was lookin’ into de grey ahs of de ovuhseeyuh.
As soon as he was on the shore, Israel began to cough and spit out water, getting unsteadily to his feet and shaking the water from his hair. Since it was still April, the water was fairly cool, and he shivered a bit as the drops rolled down his face and limbs. But when I made a suggestion that he consider going back to the cabins and rest, he shook his head very violently, and all of a moment, he threw his head back and let out a long, ululating call, something like a waterfowl or a wolf. I was most surprised by this action, and I distinctly remember backing up a few feet.
No sooner had he done this than he began to hop around in one of those strange Negro spiritual dances, and I was most amazed that he would exhibit such uninhibited displays of his religion in front of me. Israel acted, indeed, as if I was not there at all, for he began to sing out praises of God, very quickly and in Negro dialect, such that I could only barely make out their actual content. Then he threw back his head and hollered again, and cried out, “Lawd of Hosses! Lawd of Hosses! Give me strengt’ and swif’ness to bring yoh message to aw wit ea’s to hea’ en ahs to see. Lawd of Hosses! Lawd of Hosses, be wit’ me now!”
At this, I distinctly believed that Israel was invoking God as “Lord of Horses” in some pagan rite that I had not previously encountered: the Negroes on our plantation were lax in filtering out the old heathenry from the Christianity that they had adopted in recent generations. Therefore, I cuffed him quickly and lightly across the face, with no particular force. However, it threw him off-balance during one of his little dancing jumps, and so he stumbled back several feet, before he righted himself, and then turned to stare at me with an unreadable expression. He shook his head then, and stepped forward, his hands clasped behind his back, as he said, “Oh, Missuh Trappuh, you blahnd to de beam in your own ah.” He sighed sadly at me, and then suddenly jumped up as if he was electrified. I had only just begun to open my mouth and say, “Have a little more respect for God, boy!” when he was already dashing away from me, back towards the cabins, occasionally throwing his hands up towards the heaven as he went.
I was seriously concerned for Israel’s sanity at this time, for he was acting with a madness that I had never seen in him before, a genuine sort of mania. Therefore, I decided to cut short my meditations by the pond. I picked up my soup bowl and donned my hat, and I made my way to Sutherland House, where I knew I could find my employer working at his desk, writing and reading letters. I was so preoccupied with thoughts about what might have to be done with Israel that I only just noticed the fact that the strange unease was upon me again, stronger than before: a chafing in my eyes, a blindness in my skin, and all about me, a presence and an otherness that I knew was not Your own.
“‘Hell is hyuh dis day!’ I cried out to dem, en dey all cried out wit’ me in fear en in awe. ‘I done see it wit’ mah own ahs: de power of Satan lahs upon dis plantation, en in de name of de Lawd, we gonna root it up!’ Some of dem, mah mamma en o’d Denfo’d, dey said den, ‘How you know dis, Israel?’ En I said, ‘De Lawd sent me a vision of a thousand ahs en a thousand ahms all swa’min’ towa’ds us. Can’t you feel it comin’ down, de demon presence?’ En Ah threw mah han’s back en roared lahk a lion en howled lahk a wo’f, en Ah said, ‘O’d No-Skin is hyuh, skin-rahduh, possessuh!’ But mah mamma said, ‘Mah dahlin’ boy, please think on dis! What if you fail? De ofays, dey would peel off yo’ skin en hang you from a gallows en all of us would suffuh wit’ you fo’ what you done!’ But Ah said to huh, ‘de Lawd done put me down hyuh en He given me de dreams sos I can do His wuhk, en deyuh ain’t no man in dis wuhld can push me aweh from dis wuhk, so he’p me Christ.’
“‘Ah feel it!’ Black Ben yelled, en he done jump up from his bed wit’ his back all red en scarred, still cryin’, ‘Ah feel it, de demon comin’ down on us!’ En dere was a great yellin’ en hollerin’ of voices while Ah was roarin’, ‘De Lawd done gave me a task en Ah gonna fulfill it. We gots to sweep dis whole place clean of de wuhk of Satan en make it holy to God.’
“‘But Israel mah son!’ mah mamma yells den. ‘How you gonna do dis thang?’ En Ah said, ‘De plantuh, Massa Edwa’ds, is de witch en de hand of Satan hyuh. We gots to kill him.’ En de ovuh slaves done draw back a moment en whispuh togevuh en look at me in fea’, sayin’, ‘He gonna have us rahs up like ol’ Nat Tu’ne’ did? Ain’t we gonna die if we do dat?’ But Black Ben leapt up en he said, ‘Look at mah back! Look at it!’ En we all stared at de strange lace-wuhk of we’ts en of dryin’ blood en Black Ben said, ‘What godly man would say dat dis is good law? What rahchus man would allow such wicked crue’ty?’ En I said, ‘O mah frien’s en fam’ly, we been hidin’ undeh dis heavy han’ fo’ fa’ too long now, en now we gots to rahs up agains’ dis witch of Satan, fo’ de sake of our sou’s.’ En den I fe’t de spirit comin’ down, not of de Lawd but of de demon, all buzzin’ en growlin’ in mah ea’s en in mah skin en I did roar out, ‘War en blood!’”
Mister Edwards was not looking healthy in recent days. His face was thin and sallow, and his arms seemed more like bones with each passing day that I saw them. Yet I did not know what disease he had: I thought perhaps consumption. When he looked up at me, however, he smiled with what seemed to be real pleasure. He had been hunched over his desk working at writing some letter, but he put his pen back in its pot and turned his chair around to look at me. The room around him was inlaid with dark wood, and had bookshelves of old records, genealogies, and maps and surveys of the plantation. His window looked out to the west, through which wheeling shafts of sunlight pierced the room, but the glass was closed fast against the wind.
“Trapper,” he said softly. “I have just been at work, and I trust that this interruption is entirely worthy of my attention?” He did not say it with any presumption or with any malicious intent, but simply with the clear tone of authority. His blue eyes glimmered underneath his lenses, and his hands seemed clasped together a little too tightly in his lap, as though he might spring forward with newfound activity.
“Yes, sir,” I replied, and followed by recounting the whole curious incident that I had just experienced with the slave Israel at the pond. As he watched, Mister Edwards had an equally curious reaction: his eyes widened with fascination, and he made a steeple with his hands under his chin. When my tale was done, he slowly exhaled through his nose, and turned to look out the window for a moment in contemplation. As he did so, I felt that strange prickling, uneasy sensation spill down my back, and there was a whisper in my thoughts, an anticipation of dread. It seemed as though something foul was in the air, but I knew not what. O Lord, forgive me for how dimly I saw then.
When he turned back towards me, Mister Edwards smiled lightly. He put one hand on his knee and leaned forward in a somewhat conspiratorial fashion, and he said, “When Israel was born he was wedged wrongly in his mother’s womb. As he came forth, his feet emerged first, and his head last. It was so difficult for her that they were forced to pull on his shoulders to get him loose, and his head was squeezed terribly by the mother as he emerged. They wondered for days if the baby would live, for his head was so strangely shaped and deformed. Although it later settled into a normal form, yet I do wonder…” He chuckled softly and shrugged. “I do wonder if his already-deficient Negro wits were not somewhat worsened by the experience.” As he did so, I could not help but notice that his smiles and his chuckles all seemed to be precisely mechanical, not the actions of a man with feeling, but the behavior of some automaton who has forgotten his human life and become nothing more than a machine.
“‘Praise Him!’ Ah roared. ‘Praise de Lawd in aw of His glory!’ En we did let out a fierce hollerin’ en singin’ in praise, dancin’ as we do. ‘God is comin’ down in all His wraf on dis hyuh plantation, en we gonna be His han’s t’ sweep away de wicked!’ Black Ben was kneelin’ on de groun’, Ah do remembuh dat, wit’ his han’s up towa’ds Heaven en him sayin’, ‘Ou’ Faduh which aht in heaven…’ En Ah done come dancin’ down among de cabins en slammin’ mah han’s agains’ dem en makin’ a big drummin’ noise as Ah howled, ‘De Advuhsareh! De Enemy of ou’ Lawd Jesus! De Advuhsareh is hyuh!’ Aw de slaves now was in a big commotion en Ah knew dat dey was ready, so Ah said, ‘Come, mah frien’s, let us throw off dese Satanic chains!’ En we stahted runnin’ about, pickin’ up fahmin’ too’s en such: dose was gonna be ou’ weapons.
“‘De Lawd is wit’ us!’ Ah cried out. Den Black Ben done come up, en so did some ovuh boys Ah know, en Black Ben said to me, ‘De ovuhseeyuhs, what about dem?’ En I said, ‘Fleishuh we gonna bring down en sahlence, but Trappuh… Trapper is different. You leave him t’ me.’
“Den I said agin, ‘Praise Him!’ En dey was all cryin’ en moanin’ en singin’ en dancin’ all togevuh. ‘Caw Him down! O Lawd, tuhn yo’ han’ agains’ de wickedness in dis hyuh plantation en do what is rahchus en what is good! Damn this plantuh to Hell en sen’ his demon-spirit runnin’ away into Hell! Cuss Geo’ge Edwa’ds wit’ de plagues of Egyp’! Cuss him who don’t praise you no mo’ but is yo’ enemy en a frien’ of Satan! Cuss him! Cuss him, and delivuh dese poh slaves from de claws of de Advuhsareh now, Israel begs you!’”
Mister Edwards let out a sudden sigh, and closed his eyes, shaking his head. His face’s expressions deadened, and he slumped forward in his chair. Indeed, he moved rather like a marionette whose strings had all been cut. He looked at me, and when he tried to smile, the expression was ghastly, like a ghoul that had never encountered the human race. His mouth was pulled up into a tight crescent, but his eyes were empty of anything save pain. I suddenly felt as if I were looking at a hundred year old corpse where once there had been a living man. Around me, the presence and the dread crawled about my skin, buzzing and humming with alien vigor.
“I am not feeling well,” he croaked. He even sounded awful, his previously healthy voice squeezed down to the lifeless whisper of a dying man. Yet it did not seem to be consumption, for he did not cough, and there was no livid glow in his cheeks. His was the pallor of the grave, not of the afflicted. “Please… if the slave causes you any more trouble, do not worry me with it. I need… need time to myself.” He turned towards his desk and put his face in his hands. But as I left the room he did not weep; he did not make any sound at all.
I went out into the fields and took a deep breath of the air. The sun was lowering in the sky, the white light taking on a yellow hue, and as I listened, I heard what sounded like a holler of activity near the slave cabins, a great clamor of tongues in the voices of men, women, and children all mingling together. I felt a great alarm at this, for in their voices were sounds of anger. I turned about and ran at full speed, flying over stones and paths and grass, until at last I came to Adam’s door, upon which I pounded my fist heavily, crying his name aloud. When he emerged with a baffled and serious expression, I only gasped out to him, “The slaves are rising, Adam! Get your wife and children safe, then go to the plantation house and alert the family there. I will go and search for the ringleader.” Then I fled from him straightaway, hoping only that I might catch Israel before his madness doomed the entire plantation. All about me the presence was crowding, crawling, churning, and yet, o God, I did not see what You wished me to see. That would come afterwards, when it was already almost too late.
“It was Black Ben, Petey, Fat Newton, Little Newton, en me dat did come sneakin’ through de bushes den, watchin’ de two ovuhseeyuhs tawkin’ on de doo’step of de old Fleishuh house. We could not hea’ what dey was sayin’ but Ah saw dat Trappuh was much afraid, all shakin’ en quiv’rin’, en Ah knew den dat he, lahk me, could fee’ de presence weighin’ down. But Fleishuh was blahnd aw de way. We waited fo’ Trappuh t’ run off, en when he did, den we aw sprang fo’wahd togevuh.
“Fleishuh should have carrehd aroun’ a pis’ol if he was choosin’ t’ be mean t’ de slaves, fo’ we had anger agains’ him. We done drag him from de doo’step en raise our fisses agains’ his face while he did scream en holluh. But we made him quiet soon enough, all beaten into slumbuh, en den we done drag him back to de doo’step en Black Ben screamed down the hall t’ Fleishuh wahf, who was stan’in terruhbly afrehd, ‘You stay good en sahlent in hyuh, o’ we gonna come en finish de job wit’ yo’ bastahd husban’!’
“Den I said, ‘Kay, we gonna head ovuh en fahn’ Trappuh, ‘cause I be thinkin’ dat we can git him t’ he’p us. But fihst, get some rahfles out of dis house, ‘cause I know dat Fleishuh loves to be huntin’ en such.’ So we went into de house en we done push Fleishuh wahf out of de way, en we took de three rahfles off de waws, en we told he’ to git us de bullets en de powduh, en she did, en we was much obliged to he’, but Black Ben gave he’ de evil ah as we was leavin’ de house. Outsahd we done load up de guns en den we went off in sea’ch of Trappuh.”
Somewhere near my house (I cannot recall it now), I stopped in dread amazement. The presence was there, and I thought I heard in my ears the buzzing of its terrible voice. I turned about in search of it, yet it was all around me. Behind my ears, there was a pushing, pushing, and the sweat was dripping from my arms, though the air was growing cold. I could almost see it, a shadow on the edge of my vision flickering always just out of sight. I could almost taste it, a strange and metallic tang upon the tongue. I lowered my head and put my hands over my temples in a futile attempt to soothe the hammering in my head that had just begun, and was deleting my every thought. In this bewildered state, I forgot my original purpose of intercepting Israel, and began staggering towards my house. Even my feet were uncertain beneath me as this unholy barrage came against my senses.
I collapsed into my room, kneeling by my bed and propping my head under my clasped hands as I began to supplicate You for help on this bizarre and terrible day. Was I ill? Was I going mad? I could not tell, yet as I prayed to you, it seemed that the presence lifted from me, and I was left alone for a short and blessed time.
“When we done git to de Trappuh house I banged mah fist agains’ de doo’ and Ah done yell out, ‘Missuh Trappuh! Missuh Trappuh! It Israel! You deyuh?’ En we waited for a moment, en den we huhd de soun’ of footsteps comin’ from in de hall, en de doo’ swung open en deyuh was Trappuh. He looked aw confused en he said, ‘Israel, why ah you doin’ dis? How has de Lawd said to you dat dis is a rahchus thang?’
“En Ah said, ‘Fee’ de spirit comin’ down? De strengt’ of Satan all gavuhd about you?’ When he done nod slowly, Ah said den, ‘We rahsin’ up ‘cause we know dat Massa Edwa’ds is de witch of Satan hyuh, en we gonna cleanse dis place of him. You mus’ rahs yoself up now, Missuh Trappuh, en a-git yoself movin’: de battle be stahtin’.’’
“For a tahm deyuh was sahlence as Trappuh done stare at me and at de ovuh nigguhs wit’ his face all a mys’ery to me en his ahs pie’cin’ me like arruhs. In de distance, we huhd de soun’s of de ovuh slaves runnin’ about en hollerin’ en raisin’ deyuh weapons. But den Trappuh shook his head en he said, ‘No, Israel, no. Missuh Edwa’ds may not have been goin’ to chu’ch fo’ de las’ few yea’s, en mebbe he is feelin’ melancholy recently, but Ah do not accept yo’ belief dat he is responsible fo’ whatevuh dis… strangeness is. It must be somefin’ e’se.’ Den he lifted his head en he said, ‘En you are in rebellion. Mah honor deman’s dat Ah stan’ wit’ ma massa if you be threatenin’ him. Ah am sorreh, Israel.’
“Den he drew out a knahf and swung it towa’ds me, but Fat Newton caught his a’m en hold it back, en Black Ben roared out, ‘You ain’t gonna he’p no witch, ofay!’ en he swung de stock of his rahfle en hit solid agains’ de sahd of Trappuh head, en down de ovuhseeyuh went lahk a sack of rice. When Black Ben did raise de rahfle agin, Ah threw mah han’s up en said, ‘No! We gots to keep him sehf. What wrong he evuh done t’ you, Ben? Yo’ hate fo’ Fleishuh Ah be unduhstandin’, but Trappuh ain’t nevuh done no crue’ty to you o’ me.’ En Ben lowuhd his a’ms en looked ashame’ en he said, ‘Ah sorreh, Israel. Some spirit of anguh came down on me.’ So Ah patted him on de shou’duh en Ah said, ‘It fahn. Go into Trappuh house en see if you can’t get mo’ guns, en some rope. Tah up Trappuh, go back to de Fleishuh house en tah up Fleishuh too. Tell aw de nigguhs dat we gots to get enough guns to hold Suvahland House down en make shoh dat nobody can git out of deyuh en escape.’ What de wuhd fo’ dat, agin?” (“Siege,” the inquisitor answers) “Yeah, siege. Thank you kahnly. So Ah to’d dem, ‘Siege de house! Siege it good!’ So we did dat, aw sixty of us, runnin’ aroun’ en lookin’ fo’ guns o’ standin’ unduh de house wit’ rahfles raised up towa’ds de windows. Aw dis tahm Ah feel it comin’ stronguh wit’ each passin’ moment, a feelin’ of dread en of anguh bubblin’ up through mah blood and down mah backbone en chuhnin’ in mah guts. Ah tuhned mah head towa’ds de house en Ah pointed mah finguh en Ah said, ‘Ah’m a-come fo’ you, O’d No-Skin! Get yo’self ready!’ En Ah did stamp mah feet en sna'l lahk some angreh dawg.
“Den Ah huhd a scuffle comin’ from ovuh nea’ de road dat lead from Suvahland Fie’ds out to Sho’esby village, en Ah saw two slaves draggin’ a man back who was all twitchin’ en yellin’ fit to wake de dead, en dey done throw him bah mah feet en dey said, ‘One of de house-suhvants.’ All de suhvants, dey was mulattoes, always lo’din’ it over us en braggin’ ‘bout deir syrup-coluhd skins en bein’ fancy-tawkin high-yalluhs. As he was screamin’ so noisy, it rang in mah ea’s, so Ah went ovuh to him en Ah said to de two dat was ho’din’ him, ‘Make shoh he can’t run away.’ As Ah did watch, dey took out a big o’d hammer from de wuhkshop en swung it on de kneecap of de se’vant—Toby, his name was—en deyuh was a great crack en Toby done staht to skuh-reem and holluh, so den one of dem did kick Toby in de head some, en he was quiet. So we done drag Toby ovuh nea’ some trees wheyuh we was keepin’ Trappuh en Fleishuh, en we threw him deyuh, en aw dis tahm Ah fe’t it comin’ down on me, de spirit, en Ah knew now dat it been hatin’ me en everythang dat evuh was since befoh de wuhld was bohn. Hate.”
When my senses returned, the first thing that I was conscious of was a dirty great root sticking into my back. Shortly thereafter, I realized that I had a tremendous headache in my left temple. Thirdly, I felt as if I had been dipped in curdled, rancid oil, stale vomit and rusty water. Despite the pain surging through my head, I struggled up quickly and looked around in bleary wonderment at what the origin of this filth was. As I looked around, I could feel that this disgusting sensation was in fact the ‘presence’, a hundredfold stronger, now pressing down on me all over. It was enough to send shivers rolling down my back and set my thoughts to flight; but as I flailed about, I could feel that my arms were bound tightly against my sides with a length of rope, expertly tied. I pushed myself up with my back against a willow and looked about. Dusk was falling, with long low rays of orange cast over the fields and over the roof of Sutherland House. Once, this would have been a quiet and easeful time, with the slaves singing from their plantations and candlelight in the dining room of the house. Now, however, there was only the chaos of sixty shouting slave voices, and darkness in the House.
I felt almost sick with the presence over me, the horrid creeping disgust. As I looked, I saw that five or six feet to the left of me was a colored servant from the main house, with a horribly twisted knee. Upon seeing him, I was filled with a great trepidation. What frightened me, however, was not his injury, but the expression on his face. Even in sleep, there was a dreadful grimace on his face, and his eyes and cheeks seemed sunken and wasted as though he had some disease, and even his golden skin had a strange pallor. As I looked, I realized why this was so alarming: I had seen that same emaciation and pallor on the face of Mister Edwards earlier that afternoon.
As I realized this, there was a rolling wave over me, that same sensation of being steeped in vileness, so strong that I could taste it, and it seemed to sink into the very marrow of my bones. And as I sensed this wave coming upon me, I knew that it sensed me also. I felt myself confronted with some horrific intelligence, ancient and unrelenting, remote from any semblance of humanity. There were no words for its contempt: just as I was sickened by it, so it was disgusted by me. I was alone before it, and so foolish was I that I forgot You, and I did not pray or invoke Your name before it. For a brief moment, I was held fast by dread, and I was but an insect in the face of a gale. Then I felt an arm reach around my chest and pull me to my feet as I vomited violently. It held me while I was sick, and then I was leaned against the tree trunk, and I was looking into the brown eyes of Israel.
“I said to him den, ‘So, Missuh Trappuh, you really feel it now?’ En he did lick his lips en he nodded, his face aw covuhd wit’ sweat en his cheeks de coluh of cotton clof. Ah said, ‘A son of Satan been come down upon Suvahland Fie’ds, en it be wantin’ to destroy us now. It spreadin’ like a plague in de Suvahland House, en we a-gonna drahv it out wit’ de he’p of de Lawd.’ I fe’t mah haht goin’ a-pitter en a-patter in mah chest, for Ah knew dat dis hyuh man was lahk me, en he done see our Advuhsareh wit’ de ahs of his sou’. He stayuhd at me wivout sayin’ nufin’, lahk he ain’t nevuh seen me lahk he did den.
“At las’, he said, ‘En you ah shoh dat God is wit’ you?’
“En Ah said, ‘Rahchus is de Lawd of Hosses. We ah His chi’dren en we ah His soldiuhs agains’ de wicked wuhk of Hell, en we ain’t afrehd if dis gonna coss us ou’ lahvs. We ah His hoss.’
“He look at me for a moment en den he staht t’ laugh en t’ say, ‘Oh, boy, you gots to fo’give me fo’ gettin’ mad atchu ea’lyuh when you was dancin’ aroun’ attuh Ah had saved you from drownin’. When you was sayin’ ‘Lawd of Hosses’ Ah thought you was tawkin’ bout de animal, not de ahmy.’ It was strange to see Trappuh all smilin’ en laughin’ because dat was de fi’st tahm I evuh done see him happy. All of us nigguhs done been thought dat his face would break apa’t if he smile.
“Attuh he done chuckle a bit en regain’ his cawmness, Ah said to him den, ‘Kay, Missuh Trappuh, we gots to move now, we gots to make ou’ wah. Massa Edwa’ds be wuhkin’ fo’ O’d No-Skin en we a-gonna rush in dat house en stop him befo’ he bring a true demon into dis wuhld.’ Ah took out a knahf Ah done tehk from one of de wuhksheds en Ah cut through de bon’s aroun’ his a’ms. ‘You ready?’ I aksed him den.
“But he stopped en said t’ me, ‘Israel, how can you be so ce’tain dat Missuh Edwa’ds is de sou’ce of dis evil? It could jis’ be dat you ah followin’ yo’ haht wit’ dis en you ain’t followin’ de rea’ wuhds of de Lawd. If you put an innocent man t’ deaf ‘cause you think dat he some demon-wuhshippuh, de laws of bof Heaven en Earf wi’ be arrayed agains’ you, en Ah shan’t be deyuh t’ he’p you. Ah cannot stand wit’ you unless Ah am shoh dat… dat dis is true, aw dat you say t’ me.’
“I was frus’rated at dis en Ah said t’ him, ‘What you want, man, a message straight from God to your ea’s sayin, “Massa Edwa’ds is a witch!” Dat what you want, den? We ain’t got de tahm to be a’guin’ ‘bout dis. You can feel it comin’ down! O’d No-Skin, dis Imp of de Devil, is comin’, en unless you ready to get off yo’ butt en he’p us, you go sit off to de sahd en let us nigguhs do de task de Lawd gave us!’
“He open his mouf t’ say somefin’, but den we huhd de blast of a rahfle.”
We ran from the trees, out onto the main avenue in front of the House. More rifle-shots were going off: as we ran up to them, the slaves were all shouting and crying out together, declaring that the shot had come from a window of Sutherland House: they pointed to it, and I could see that there was almost no glass left in the frame, for the Negroes had fired on it so wantonly. They were clearly not very good shots, having never used guns before, yet they carried the weapons with a stark confidence. Yet that was not what first came to my attention. Instead, we were called forth by the sound of a man weeping and groaning, not speaking. As we went towards the sound, we saw the shape of a woman lying prone in a great pool of blood. The last sunlight was vanishing from the sky, and there was a terrible poignancy to it, such that my heart ached in my breast for him. The man, with a thin beard and big, calloused hands, was cradling the woman’s head in his lap, not caring or perhaps not even aware that the blood from the wound in her neck was getting all over his pant-legs.
As I approached and saw her face, I stopped, realizing that I knew who she was: Bertha, a vivacious young dame who had been putting on weight because she planned to have a baby with her husband, Wilbur. Had she thought of You in the last moment? Did she go to You an unwilling virgin, who had sought to bring children into this world to glorify Your name? O Lord, truly You give and You take away. I had known Bertha since I had first begun to work at this plantation years ago and she had been a little darling girl, and it filled me with a great horror to see her life bled out upon the April grass. And at the same time as I saw this most dreadful and horrific scene, I felt it again, crowding around me, that Hellish and most despicable presence, and now I felt from it not only hatred, but a savage and unthinkable glee, a ruinous gaiety. And I knew in that instant that it had commanded her murder, and was now rejoicing in it.
As I grit my teeth in horror and tears of rage filled my eyes, Israel came up beside me and looked down at her body, now growing stiff to her husband’s touch, and Wilbur, still weeping. The young Negro leaned over and whispered something into Wilbur’s ear, and pausing to snuffle in a breath, the widower bent down and kissed his bride’s cold face. Then he got to his feet, took another shuddering breath, and grabbed a rifle that he had laid down by the ground beside her, and nodded resolutely, though his eyes were red. And acting upon the inspiration of a moment (or was it Your inspiration?) I turned towards Israel and said, my voice choked with passion, “I am with you and yours, Israel. Let us drive out this accursed demon from this land forevermore.”
Israel smiled, and put his knife into my hands.
“‘Mah bruvahs en mah sissuhs!’ Ah crahd out to dem aw. ‘Massa Edwa’ds gonna call upon his massa now, and he gonna trah en bring de powuh of Satan down on dis hyuh lan’! We ain’t gonna let him do nufin’ lahk dat, ah we?’ En deyuh was a shoutin’ from dem all as dey raise up deyuh weapons, even if it wasn’t nufin’ but some little rock o’ branch of wood. All of dem shoutin’ togevuh, ‘Nevuh!’ Even mah mamma had an axe in huh han’s en she was yellin’ wit’ dem aw. Ah was nevuh prouduh of mah mamma den Ah was in dat very moment, let me te’ you. Willis stood at mah sahd wit’ Black Ben, wit’ de knahf clasp taht in his han’s. De sun done go away beneaf de horahzun, en de twahlaht was comin’ down, wit’ de fihst stahs appearin’ here en deyuh, en de fu’ moon comin’ up t’ disappea’ behan’ a bank of cloud. We aw rallied togevuh at de gates of de Suvahland House, en dey was sea’ed agains’ us, so mah mamma en some ovuhs who had axes went up to de doo’s en chop at dem till dey was aw busted open for us. Den we came roarin’ in!
“It was slow wuhk, but we made shoh dat it was good wuhk, nufin’ we would be ashame for when we gonna face de Lawd, dat naht or any ovuh. We went through de halls en fought de mulatto suhvants, who had guns, but we made shoh dat no more of us was kiyuhd lahk po’ Berfa. When we did faht dem, we made shoh dat we wasn’t hittin’ dem nowheyuh dat would ki’ dem, even dough we wasn’t too good at shootin’ wit’ dem guns en such. Sometahms we wasn’t even bov’rin’ wit’ duh guns but jis’ usin’ de stocks of de rahfles to beat de suhvants till dey was asleep. Yeah, aw dem suhvants was in de power of de demon, en we could tell it, fo’ dey aw had dose strange, empty faces, lahk dey was stahvin’, even dough dem house-suhvants was always fed en treated bettuh den us fie’d nigguhs. Dat whah dey was called ‘suhvants’ even dough dey was really slaves lahk us: dem mulattoes got all so’ts of proud ‘cause dey wasn’t pyuah black lahk us, so dey was always braggin’ en struttin’ aroun’. Ah do admit dat we was havin’ a bit too much fun wit’ beatin’ dem up, fo’ we had put up wit’ too many insu’ts en crue’ties from dem to fee’ dat dey was just de poh… uh. Wassat wuhd fo’ someone at de gettin’ end of a crahm or a wrongdoin’?” (“Victim,” the interrogator suggests) “Yeah, dey was just de poh victims of O’d No-Skin. Ha! No, dey wasn’t dat, no suh. We beat dem up good, dem mulattoes.
“Some of de ovuh nigguhs went up into de wing of de house wheyuh de Edwa’ds fam’ly was livin’, en dey was shoutin’ down to us, ‘We got de Edwa’ds back in deyuh rooms! Dey stayin’ back hyuh, en de Massa ain’t wit’ dem!’ Den Willis ran to mah sahd en said to me, ‘Den he’s in his office, Israel.’ En Ah said to him, ‘Show me de way now! Wit’ de sun settin’, de demon growin’ stronguh en soon it gonna be comin’ forf from Hell! We need to stop Edwa’ds befoh he too strong to stop! Now!’ En he went off runnin’ wit’ me followin’, till we came bangin’ into Edwa’ds room en we was lookin’ straight at him, whahl de presence was crawlin’ all about us, callin’ ou’ names as if it been waitin’ for us all ou’ lahvs.
He was not at his desk, but stood in the middle of the room. It was a truly incongruous image, for we had come bursting into the room shouting war-cries and waving about our weapons, expecting to battle with the legions of Hell themselves. I suppose I had forgotten what a weak and frail man Mister Edwards really was: he was hunched over, despite still being a man in the prime of his life, and as he stared at us, I felt as though I was looking at a man who was facing his fate, like a prisoner condemned. His blue eyes did not blink, but only watched, devoid of any passion. He did not flinch, either, when we came yelling and hollering into his room. His eyes only snapped to the side, seeing the doors we had flung open. He moved one hand in a lazy flick, and the doors slammed shut. I whirled around to see who had done it, preparing for a battle against whatever allies he had here: but there was nothing to have shut the door. When I turned back to look at Mister Edwards, he was smiling faintly, and this time, it was not a mechanical, false smile, but one full of a horrid anticipation. He showed all of his teeth, and his face was bent down so that he was staring up at us from under his pendulous brows. It made him look like nothing so much as the lunatic that I now knew that he was. His hands were folded in front of him, hanging over his lap. And all around us was the presence, hanging thick as molasses. The longer Mister Edwards stared at us, the stronger the presence began to feel. Indeed, having stumbled into his room, rather than rush at him and attack him, I felt as though I could not dare to approach him. He seemed like a monolith, this sickly aristocrat standing in the middle of his office and grinning at us insanely.
Before either Israel or I could say anything, however, Mister Edwards raised his hands and clapped them sharply while yelling out an invocation. I will not repeat it here: some of it was in a language that I could not comprehend at all, probably the royal dialect spoken in the Courts of the Inferno. He spoke also in English, but he spoke such execrable blasphemies and obscenities that I do not even wish to remember them, much less write them down here. Neither of us could raise a hand against him as he did this, for we were paralyzed with horror: the presence, the presence! The demon was coming in all his abominable splendor and we were like rabbits that tremble in the trap before the hunter’s death-blow. We felt it crawling under our skin, making our eyes water and our guts churn with nausea, our hands shake and shivers roll down our spines. My teeth chattered, and beside me, Israel was moaning, his eyes starting from his head and his breath coming forcefully through his nose as if he were choking to death. The heels of his hands were pressed against his temples, and his whole body shook. Mister Edwards raised his face then, and his smile widened until it seemed it would crack his face asunder. As Israel fell to the ground, battering his head against the floor and screaming, Mister Edwards looked at me. A blood-chilling laugh, high and raspy, came forth. He spoke to me.
“‘Why ah you standin’ wit’ dis mad nigguh?’ Edwa’ds said den to Willis. Ah remembuh dat was de fihst thang he said t’ Willis whahl Ah was lyin’ on de floo’. Ah could fee’ de demon sinkin’ his fangs into me, tryin’ t’ drahv me mad en rahd mah skin. But even as I did struggle agains’ de demon Ah did awso keep one ear open t’ know what Edwa’ds was tryin’ to do agains’ Willis. ‘What can you gain from dis?’ Edwa’ds was sayin’. ‘Look at you. You, a white man, he’pin’ dese hyuh nigguhs rahs agains’ me, fo’ what? De congratulations of Norvuhn ab’litionists? De praises of a bunch of wi’d beas’-men? Considuh yo’ position, mah good Missuh Trappuh. Dis can only lead to de gallows fo’ you, raht along wit’ dese sixty nigguhs. Dey only rahsin’ ‘cause Israel is lunatic enough t’ make dem think dat Ah am a crue’ massa.’ He laughed as I was twitchin’ on de floo’, feelin’ mah throat closin’ up and spit comin’ from mah mouf. Ah looked at him from de co’nuh of mah ah en Ah growled at him. He was gigglin’ lahk a boy, en wahpin’ at one ah ‘cause he was laughin’ so hahd.
“‘I am agains’ you in de name of de Lawd!’ Willis said t’ him. His voice was hahd en angreh. ‘You cannot deny it! You summoned him jis’ now wit’ dat swearin’ en cussin’ of yo’s! You are an enemy of God, Geo’ge Edwa’ds!’
“Edwa’ds did frown den. ‘God?’ he spat. ‘What has yo’ God done fo’ me? God has no love fo’ me! “It is easiyuh fo’ a camel t’ go through de ah of a needle den it is fo’ a rich man t’ entuh de kingdom of Heaven.” What God would let de wuhld be swep’ wit’ plagues en let chi’dren dah in deyuh cradles? What God would let his chi’dren remain slaves when dey name him deyuh Savior? A powuhless God, if he wan’s to he’p dem en he can’t, or a wicked God, if he can he’p dem en he won’t. If he is powuhless, den he means nufin’ t’ me, en if he is wicked, den Ah know him already. Dere are invisible powuhs in dis wuhld, it is true, but dey ah not any operation of yo’ so-cawed God. Dey ah de powuhs of will, of vict’ry, en of beauty untouched by de sweaty, fi’fy han’s of de unworvy!’ As he shouted dis hyuh speech, he got so mad dat he was spittin’ en screamin’ en wavin’ his a’ms about.
“‘God fo’gives,’ Willis said den. ‘Dat is what Ah know of him, dat he loves us aw. Ah hope in him ‘cause he loves me, no mattuh what Ah have done to offen’ him. You love nufin’, Geo’ge Edwa’ds! Ah have huhd of how you cannot walk into a chu’ch fo’ fea’ dat de Lawd wi’ rejec’ you en cuss you befo’ aw de people! What is yo’ name worf when you fea’ for it every secon’? A name as ancien’ as de plantations at Jamestown, a name connected to evry Foundin’ Fadduh, en aw you can do sit hyuh in yo’ office en stayuh at lettuhs? I fee’ nufin’ fo’ you but pity, Geo’ge Edwa’ds.’ Willis said aw dis, en he laughed lahk a man gone mad.
“Dis was just de thang dat would catch Edwa’ds ‘tention. His smile fell off en his ahs widen, whahl Ah felt de power of de demon-presence come off me enough dat Ah could git up en breave. But den de smile did come raht back, en Edwa’ds said, ‘You pity me, Willis? You, you sodomite, you faggot?’ Ah did tuhn mah face towa’ds Willis, all amazed, en Ah saw Willis was sore afrehd, his body frozen still en his mouf agape. Edwa’ds said, ‘Ah know whah you pray to God every day, Willis. Ah know whah you tehk no wahf en siyuh no sons. How you seduced one of mah slaves when you fihst came to wuhk hyuh, how you took him in de sahlence of de naht, en how he took his own lahf in tuhn!’ Edwa’ds threw his head back in triumph, his eyes buhnin’ in his head, en de presence all gav’rin’ about him. ‘We know, Willis.’ En he threw his han’ up en roa’ed, his face now gone uttuhly mad, ‘I call on you, de Great One Whose Name Has No End! O mah massa, come! Come!’
“En Willis stood unmovin’, his ahs empty of anythang at aw.”
I stood there, and it was as if the space of a moment was as long as all the ages of the Earth. I was no longer cognizant of Israel shouting at my side or grabbing at my shoulder, nor of the demonic presence bearing down on me, body and soul. I was not even conscious of what lay in front of my eyes, with Mister Edwards smiling at me with a hard, little grin of obscene victory. No. My whole body had frozen still as though a statue and I distinctly remember my fingers feeling cold as death and winter. When I tried to breathe, I felt it as though it was coming through a metal straw, ragged and painful. There were no real thoughts flitting through my end, only ragged little scraps of memory: all the years spent in prayer to You to lift the curse from me, all the repentance I had cried out at Your feet that You forgive me for my abominable crime. How safe I had felt knowing that at least the secret was with You alone. And now I was laid exposed before this creature who had once been a man, and I knew that Hell was calling me, calling in a bright and beautiful song. Oh, what they promised me! All the sorrow would be lifted from my shoulders! All the pain would be forgotten, and I would be free to rejoice in every delight that I could imagine. I remember the sound of Mister Edwards’ voice, creeping into my thoughts: “Celebrate with us. Drink from the fountains of eternal vigor and unending liberty. What use is your penitence, what use your weeping prayers? Ours is not a caravan of despair, but an endless festival of every sensation. Come, throw off your fetters and let the revelry fill your heart with rejoicing and delight. Come!” And as I looked at him, he stretched his hand out towards me, even while Israel was trying to grab at me and screaming for me to resist.
Lord my God, it was then that You showed Yourself. Through the window, I looked for a moment, but a moment, to tear my eyes away from the hideous spectacle unfolding before me. And out that window, I saw the land, all quiet and blue under the stars and clouds, and the sky, infinitely reaching. And in that moment, the moon appeared from behind a cloud, washing the world in silver, but it was not only the moon that appeared, for it was there that I saw You (truly saw You!), and there is no way to describe what I saw. All was made clear and clean in that light, all doubts were set to rest. I saw in that precise moment the perfect radiance unfolding, when all my world had gone mad. I knew then why I had struggled and why I had crushed down my every passion and my every lust, for here at last was a purity that I could know and call my own. Your grace was on me, Lord, and I knew it to be unshakeable, transcendent, and perfect. You had forgiven me, and I could accept my forgiveness. All the dread-weighted penitence slid from me forever, and I was innocent again at last.
So I knelt before Mister Edwards and cried out, “Be gone to Hell, you blasphemer! I renounce you here, in the name of the Almighty, the Compassionate, the Eternal who took our sins upon Himself: I renounce you in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord of Love!”
“When Willis went to his knees en praised de Lawd, fo' jis’ a moment Ah could feel somefin’ change in de room. De da’kness gavuhd about Edwa’ds, fo’ jis’ an secon’, faded. Ah could feel it all about me, de presence liftin’ off me en allowin’ me t’ think en t’ move en not be sahlenced o’ maddened bah de voice of de demon. Edwa’ds, he was lookin’ down at Willis all confused en deyuh was a great horro’ in Edwa’ds face. He ain’t been expectin’ to see nobody able t’ resis’ his demon-tawk, but hyuh was Willis, cryin’ out agains’ him and lovin’ de Lawd wit’ aw his haht even when de fo’ces of Hell was agains’ him. O’d No-Skin was aw confused en afrehd at dis man whose sou’ it could not graps, en Ah knew den dat Ah had mah chance to finish mah wuhk. Ah took a deep breaf. Den Ah roa’ed out, ‘O JEHOVAH!’ Hoo boy, dat got deir attention awright: deyuh was a great and fea’ful hissin’ in de ai’ from de demon, en Edwa’ds tried to ye’, ‘You cannot win! You cannot win!’ But I kep’ goin’ on, sayin’, ‘O JEHOVAH! Lawd of Noah! Lawd of Abraham! Lawd of Jacob! Lawd of Joseph! Lawd of Moses!’ En when I was cryin’ out de names of de prophets de demon roa’ed en how’ed, en Edwa’ds ran towa’ds me wit’ his knahf raise, but Willis jumped up en kicked him in de sahd. ‘Lawd of David! Lawd of Samuel en Nathan en Jeremiah en Ezekiel! Hea’ me now!’ Den Ah stahted t’ dance about en t’ jump, yellin’ out agin en agin, ‘O JEHOVAH!’ Now Ah was starin’ raht into de center of de da’kness, en Ah raise mah han’s up en Ah stab towa’ds it wit’ mah finguhs, hollerin’ en screamin’, ‘Get out of hyuh devil! Get out en back to Hell! O JEHOVAH! Get out out out OUT OF HYUH DEVIL!’ Sweat was pourin’ down mah face, Edwa’ds was fahtin’ wit’ Willis on de floo’, O’d No-Skin was stretchin’ black tendrils of shadow towa’ds me, en Ah was roarin’ en bellowin’, ‘O JEHOVAH! LISSEN, DEMON! GOD COMPE’S YOU! IN DE NAME OF DE FADUH, DE SON, EN DE HOLY GHOS’, GET OUT!’ En Ah took mah knahf en cut into mah a’m, shriekin’ lahk a baby, ‘O Lawd, accept dis off’rin’ en cast dis devil out!’ En SNAP en BOOM went de room, lahk a blas’ of thundah, en Willis en Ah was thrown across de floo’!
“Lawd! O’d No-Skin was aw full of wraf such as you men cannot even ‘magine. All aroun’ us deyuh was a screamin’ en a howlin’ like a thousand wo’ves or a great buzzin’ swahm of wasps, en at de center of de sto’m was de soun’ of a man cryin’ out in agony, lahk de soun’ of a rabbit bein’ to’n apa’t bah houn’s, o’ de soun’ a slave makes when de ovuhseeyuh is whippin’ him to deaf. Such a shriek it was dat it did seem to pie’ce mah ea’s en sink into mah head, en even wit’ mah han’s pressed tahtly agains’ mah ea’s to trah en keep it away, yet still it was drahvin’ into mah brain. Mah skin was bein’ lashed wit’ co’d lahk ice en heat like fiyuh, en a great win’ was blowin’ through de room, sendin’ aw de books flyin’ aroun’, hittin’ me en hittin’ Willis en knocking us to de floo’, desk crashin’ en windows blastin’ open. In de middle of dis stohm, Ah open mah ahs en Ah did look at what was happenin’ t’ Edwa’ds. Ah wish now Ah ain’t done dat, en dat Ah had been clevuh lahk Willis en kep’ mah fehs pressed agains’ de groun’ en mah a’ms wrapped aroun’ mah head, not movin’ but trustin’ in de Lawd. But no, Ah was foolish, en Ah looked up to see what was goin’ on. Well, deyuh was Edwa’ds at de center of de stohm, suspended in de ai’ lahk a doll in a chi’d’s hand, wit’ his a’ms taht agains’ his sahds en his head thrown back, jaw all gapin’ open. His ahs was starin’ open, bulgin’ out, lahk dey was gonna pop. Aw his blood was drainin’ out through his nose en his mouf en his ahs, in a great sca’let cloud, en hah above him, in de whi’lwin’, dere was a howlin’ mouf wit jagged teef en drippin’, hungry tongue, en it was drinkin’ de blood down like watuh. Dat mouf was roarin’ en growlin’ out somefin’ in de tongues of demons, but Ah did not lissen or heed dese wuhds but kep’ mah han’s ovuh mah ea’s, fo’ t’ lissen to dat is a thang dat wi’ drahv a man to madness forevuh. Ah jis’ watched, all amazed, as my howlin’ Massa choked en gasped. He was shriv’lin’ lahk a… lahk a flowuh, Ah suppose, dat been left out in de sun in summuh heat, but dat happen slowly. Dis was happenin’ raht befoh mah ahs, en it was terrible, so awfuw dat I fe’t sick to mah gut, even dough dis was a man dat I knew was damned to Hell bah his own wrongdoin’. I watched until de howlin’ mouf disappeared as de lass puff of his blood flew from his lips, en de win’ stopped, en de books fe’ to de groun, en de dry, wivuhd co’pse of Edwa’ds hit de groun’ wit de soun’ lahk a piece of wood.
“En den, it was gone. Sahlence. ‘Magine lahk you was caked in de wuhst so’ts of fi’f en ga’bage en yo’ heyuh was all caked agains’ you’ sca’p en your ahs was all gummed shut wit’ de grahme en de grunge. You ‘maginin’ dat? Kay, now jis’ think dat a flow of pyuah, hot watuh been spilled ovuh yo’ head, en it was sweet en good as vanilla o’ rosewatuh, en everythang bad o’ nassy you evuh done o’ thought ‘bout been washed away wit’ de diht. ‘Magine dat, bein’ clean aw de way down into yo’ haht en into yo’ sou’. Dat was how we fe’t den, en Ah ain’t ashame to say dat Ah crahd den, ‘joicin’ in de… wassat wuhd fo’ somefin’ dat got no en’?” (“Infinite”, the interrogator replies) “Yeah, infuhnit. ‘Joicin’ in de infuhnit me’cy en grace of de Almahty. Out in de halls Ah huhd mah brevren singin’ out dat o’d tune, ‘Wade in duh watuh! Wade in duh watuh, chi’dren!’ ‘Cause dat was how all of us was feelin’, en den dey was shoutin’, ‘God bless Israel en Willis Trappuh, en glory be to Jesus name amen!’ Oh yeah, all of us crahd out en praised God, but none of us was so happy as me en Willis, stan’in’ deyuh. So clean, so happy to be alahv, t’ feel ou’ hahts beatin’, t’ know dat we done save ou’se’ves from temptation! Even as we pushed away de o’d en drah co’pse of Missuh Edwa’ds, dat wreckage of a hell-damned man, unendin’ we fe’t it in us, de laht divahn. Oh, praise Jesus, how beautiful it was en how glorious is His name!” [Sobbing]
Who will believe this? Yet I saw it all, and I must speak of it, or I think that I shall believe myself a madman as time passes. How frail is a mortal before the dreadful command of the Adversary, before Your righteous might! I am but a feather on Your breath, and the wonders that You have seen fit to show me do indeed surpass what I had ever known.
So. I shall begin, as it began, with the waking in the morning. The dews lay upon the fields and the sky was yet untouched by sunlight: the crescent moon was disappearing behind a western bank of clouds. The day opened before me, and the wind was in the south, bringing a warm blast from out of Georgia. I heard them singing, the slaves Your children, as they arose from their cabins. Near my house, there was Adam Fleischer quietly kissing his wife goodbye and putting his boots on, and far off, there was the light in Sutherland House from Mister Edwards’ office: I never did learn how early he woke in the morning, or if he ever slept at all.
At my side was the whip, hatefully coiled. Over my head was the sky, slowly awakening with eastern fire. If I had known what was to come, perhaps I would have broken and fled from Sutherland Fields. Thanks be to You that You did not let me indulge my cowardice thus.
“Kay. You did aks me what been done at Suvahland Fie’ds so I’m a-te’ you aw de troof dat I be knowin’ of it. Ah’m a-gonna te’ you white men de thangs you been done forgot ‘bout de wuld and all God creation, en mebbe you ain’t gonna believe nufin’ Ah gonna say but Ah’m a-declayuh it nonevuhless ’cause you be needin’ t’ heeyuh en t’ heed dese wuhds. But you ain’t nevuh gonna ca’ me a cowahd agin when you be hearin’ what I gots t’ say.
“Monday mo’nin’ it was, en tayuhd me done drug mahself up fo’ de wuhk. Aw de naht befoh we been done dancin’ en singin’ to de Lawd aroun’ de fiyuh, en attuh de ‘joicin’, Ah allus do fee’ limp en he’pless as a kitten. But de wuhk gots t’ git done, en so up Ah went, out in de Ehpril mo’nin’ dew en cool ai’, widduh fi’st bi’ds aw callin’ out to de Lawd en sayin’, “Praise be! Praise be!” But us nigguhs, we can’t sing fo’ de rahsin’ sun: we gots t’ be wuhkin’. We lucky in Sahf Car’lahna, fo’ I done hear it said dat in Alabama o’ Miss’ippi de ovuhseeyuhs wuhk de nigguhs hahd aw deh, dawn t’ dusk, wiv cotton so hungreh fo’ sweat en aw.
“On Suvahland Fie’ds, we ain’t wuhk fo’ no ovuhseeyuh’s pet on de head but fo’ de task. Missuh Edwahds, he kep’ his ovuhseeyuhs ‘cause he did fee’ dat widdout dem one deh we was gonna rahs up en tehk his head, Ah guess. Pe’haps he thought dem ovuhseeyuhs loya’. Tuhns out dat Missuh Edwahds ain’t know nufin’ ‘bout a slave rahsin’ till he done get one!” [Laughter]
The slaves set out to do their tasks, each to their individual teams. That day, for some reason, they impressed me especially strongly. All sixty of them marching from the cabins never failed to impress me, but for some reason, today I sat and watched all of them go by without even turning my head, smiling and humming as they went past me. They went silent when they passed Adam, though, keeping their eyes downcast and their voices silent. I did not notice Israel then, for I was too distracted by my own inner contest to control my passions as all of them went filing by with their strong bodies. O Lord, purity is eternally yours!
Adam went out to follow the men-folk (“bucks,” he would always be calling them) to their tasks, while I went along with the women; next day, it would be the reverse. It was hoeing work, readying the soil for planting now that things were growing and green again. I confess that I do not recall much of what happened then, for I had begun to feel a strangeness sitting upon me, a disagreeable twinge in my thoughts whose source I did not know. I shrugged it off with some success, though, as I focused my energies upon watching their work. When I watched them and kept count of their efforts, they sang quickly, keeping the time with their rhythms with one of their old Negro stories from pagan Africa. They used few lyrics, but I learned enough of the Signifying Monkey’s escapades to make my ears burn.
The sun lifted as they worked, catching on their cotton clothes and bare black feet. I walked my steady pace along the acres as they dug and hoed and sang, cutting away the first of the weeds to rise up. Yet for all the peace and beauty about me, there was that strangeness perched upon me like some imp, making me unsteady and worried. I walked and watched, but I did not venture and I did not see. Now here I write, knowing at last the truth behind it, but then, it was still an enigmatic irritation, not more than that. Perhaps it was Your warning, Lord. Perhaps if I had heeded it sooner, much would have gone otherwise.
“Fleishuh, he a bastuhd, allus tellin’ us, ‘You nigguhs call me mah raht nehm or Ah’m gonna give you a lick. Missuh Fleishuh!’ he done say it, ‘Not Missuh Flahshuh.’ We aw did wuhk de fie’ds en poun’ de o’d rice dat mo’nin’, but wit Fleishuh in charge, we wasn’t singin’: he too angry a man, crouchin’ en rubbin’ his thumbs ovuh de whip lahk he was jis’ waitin’ t’ get it out en dancin’ ‘cross ou’ backs. But we kep’ ou’se’ves hush as de grehv, en we did lissen t’ de bi’ds en de wind in de willows in deyuh new dress.
“When Ah was wuhkin’ at de mo’ta’ en poundin’ de rice, Ah done sta’t feelin’ strange in mah skin, lahk deyuh was somefin’ unduh mah hide all scritchin’ aroun’ in deyuh. Ah knew it ain’t no chigguh o’ nuffin’ down deyuh ‘cause I been allus good wit washin’ mah skin clean en drah in de sun, but Ah fe’t it crawlin’ in mah thoughts en in mah flesh en I thought to mahse’f, ‘Israel, you lissenin’ to de Lawd?’ We allus was sayin’ dat de Lawd give signs in dreams an’ in ovuh strange wehs. So Ah said when I done poun’ de rice, ‘Lawd, give me ahs t’ see and ea’s to heeyuh.’ He ain’t done say nuffin’ in wuhds, but de Lawd ain’t need no wuhds, foh he speak wit ev’reh drop of rain en ev’reh glittuh of sun.
“While Ah was wuhkin’ aweh at de rice, Fleishuh got hisself up t’ his feet en he did walk ovuh t’ one of de nigguhs diggin’ at de fie’d en he said, “Ah you slackenin’, boy?” En de nigguh, Black Ben, done shehk his head en say, ‘No suh, no I be wuhkin’ hahd at dis fie’d hyuh, Ah jis’ be feelin’ sore in mah ahms.’ En Missuh Fleishuh done say, ‘You’re feelin’ sore, boy? De spring is on en de crops ah bein’ sown; you think you can jis’ do it like you’re an o’d en weary man? Ah’ll make you sore enough!’ En he done tehk out his lash and it was dancin’ ‘cross Old Ben’s back lahk a se’pent. We done wuhk faste’ den, but Ah fe’t the creepin’ in mah skin en Ah knew dat de Lawd was breavin’ down mah neck en sayin’, ‘Lissen mah son! Lissen, for Ah gonna give you a wuhk dis day greatuh den any you ever known befo'.’”
We were always famous at Sutherland Fields for how hard our Negroes worked at their tasks. Though it was an April day, and thus the sun was gentle even at its noontide height, they all made sure to finish well before two o’clock in the afternoon, and set themselves to eating their luncheon. They would sit in circles by their cabins and mingle, while Fleischer would stump off to his house, always with that same relieved expression at being free of his obligation to look after the slaves. For me, though, the confines of a house had no appeal. I took my bread and bowl of stew, and I went out along the fields with the wind in my face. It was turning out to be a cool day for April, and the wind had changed from the south to the northeast.
I sat beside the pond, not yet garbed with duckweed or crowned with lilies, but ruffled with the breeze, lapping softly at its banks. I leaned against a willow and ate, thanking You that You had not yet sent forth your swarms of biting things that would make this pastime impossible, come summer. It seemed that the strangeness of spirit that had hung upon me earlier had fled away, and I was left alone to my contemplations along the banks of that pond. I mouthed a brief praise to You, my Lord, for this rest that was upon me and did give me comfort and strength. Perhaps I dozed there under the tree, for I was glad to be done pacing back and forth and watching the slaves with a hawk’s eyes. I was in safety, I had rest, I was quiet. Yet trouble came.
It was when I opened my eyes that I saw Israel. He had always been one of the stranger Negroes, for when I would watch their dances and spiritual songs from afar, he was the one who would dance and holler as “the Spirit came upon him.” He would sometimes stare about with his big black eyes when I was overseeing, and he would look at me and smile in such a toothy way that I could not help but to smile back. He was always dancing and playing about after work was done, so buoyant and full of life, as though he was free. But today he was at the side of the pond, on his hands and knees, looking over the edge into the waters, his eyes wide. He seemed strange to me, all seized up and tight with tension, as though had seen something greatly fearful that had put him all into worry; and I, too, was worried to see him thus.
I got up slightly, to greet him and to ask him what he was doing here and why he was acting so strangely. But Lord, You came down in all Your might upon him, and he fell, arms flailing, into the waters.
“When ou’ wuhk was all done we carrehd Black Ben back t’ de cabins en let him rest on his belly t’ let his back breave and be coo’ed by de spring ai’, en we was happy t’ see Fleishuh go, we was hatin’ him so. Now de wuhk was done fo’ de day en we went to ou’ places en we eht and tawked. Ah was sittin’ bah mah mamma, en she was mixin’ up a puddin’ of co’n in a clay pot fo’ de lunch, en she done say t’ me, ‘Israel, why you so pale en queer?’
“En Ah done muttah, ‘It nuffin’, mamma,’ but den I did staht t’ trem’le en t’ shehk en she done say, ‘You hush now en you res’!’ Fo’ she was thinkin’ dat Ah was troubled bah de blows Ah done see on Black Ben. En de ovuhs looked at me all queer-like. But Ah was feelin’ somefin’ else on me, en I got to mah feet en said, ‘Ah needs a wawk.’ So Ah went out from de cabins, out unduh de trees, en Ah ran my han’s ovuh de bahk en Ah said, ‘Lawd, what you tryin’ to say t’ me?’
“Ah came in tahm to de sho’es of de frog-pon’, en Ah saw de ovuhseeyuh, Willis Trappuh, dozin’ by de roots of a willow, wit’ his eyes close en his han’s folded ovuh his stomach. He always seemed so distant when he was watchin’ us, en it always strange t’ git close t’ someone asleep you nevuh want t’ go nea’ when dey awake. Ah step by him ca’efully en wit’ no noise till Ah done git raht up to de sho’es of de pon’, en den Ah got down close to de groun’ en Ah look down into de watuh en Ah saw mah own black fehs lookin’ up at me. But den I saw moh, en moh, lahts en shapes en a burnin’ swo’d rahsin’ from my han’. En Ah did aks de Lawd, “What tas’ you given me, o God?” En den Ah saw it: a thousan’ ahms reachin’ out, a thousan’ eyes gazin’ upon me. En Ah was struck wit’ horro’, en Ah beat at de watuh wit’ ma han’s to keep it aweh, en splash! Ah fell raht into de watuh. But no soonuh had Ah begun t’ choke en t’ gasp down deyuh, still all shakin’ wit’ fea’ en horro’, when Ah fe’t two han’s grip mah shoulde’s like a stee’ trap, en drag me back out onto de sho’es of de pon’, en Ah was lookin’ into de grey ahs of de ovuhseeyuh.
As soon as he was on the shore, Israel began to cough and spit out water, getting unsteadily to his feet and shaking the water from his hair. Since it was still April, the water was fairly cool, and he shivered a bit as the drops rolled down his face and limbs. But when I made a suggestion that he consider going back to the cabins and rest, he shook his head very violently, and all of a moment, he threw his head back and let out a long, ululating call, something like a waterfowl or a wolf. I was most surprised by this action, and I distinctly remember backing up a few feet.
No sooner had he done this than he began to hop around in one of those strange Negro spiritual dances, and I was most amazed that he would exhibit such uninhibited displays of his religion in front of me. Israel acted, indeed, as if I was not there at all, for he began to sing out praises of God, very quickly and in Negro dialect, such that I could only barely make out their actual content. Then he threw back his head and hollered again, and cried out, “Lawd of Hosses! Lawd of Hosses! Give me strengt’ and swif’ness to bring yoh message to aw wit ea’s to hea’ en ahs to see. Lawd of Hosses! Lawd of Hosses, be wit’ me now!”
At this, I distinctly believed that Israel was invoking God as “Lord of Horses” in some pagan rite that I had not previously encountered: the Negroes on our plantation were lax in filtering out the old heathenry from the Christianity that they had adopted in recent generations. Therefore, I cuffed him quickly and lightly across the face, with no particular force. However, it threw him off-balance during one of his little dancing jumps, and so he stumbled back several feet, before he righted himself, and then turned to stare at me with an unreadable expression. He shook his head then, and stepped forward, his hands clasped behind his back, as he said, “Oh, Missuh Trappuh, you blahnd to de beam in your own ah.” He sighed sadly at me, and then suddenly jumped up as if he was electrified. I had only just begun to open my mouth and say, “Have a little more respect for God, boy!” when he was already dashing away from me, back towards the cabins, occasionally throwing his hands up towards the heaven as he went.
I was seriously concerned for Israel’s sanity at this time, for he was acting with a madness that I had never seen in him before, a genuine sort of mania. Therefore, I decided to cut short my meditations by the pond. I picked up my soup bowl and donned my hat, and I made my way to Sutherland House, where I knew I could find my employer working at his desk, writing and reading letters. I was so preoccupied with thoughts about what might have to be done with Israel that I only just noticed the fact that the strange unease was upon me again, stronger than before: a chafing in my eyes, a blindness in my skin, and all about me, a presence and an otherness that I knew was not Your own.
“‘Hell is hyuh dis day!’ I cried out to dem, en dey all cried out wit’ me in fear en in awe. ‘I done see it wit’ mah own ahs: de power of Satan lahs upon dis plantation, en in de name of de Lawd, we gonna root it up!’ Some of dem, mah mamma en o’d Denfo’d, dey said den, ‘How you know dis, Israel?’ En I said, ‘De Lawd sent me a vision of a thousand ahs en a thousand ahms all swa’min’ towa’ds us. Can’t you feel it comin’ down, de demon presence?’ En Ah threw mah han’s back en roared lahk a lion en howled lahk a wo’f, en Ah said, ‘O’d No-Skin is hyuh, skin-rahduh, possessuh!’ But mah mamma said, ‘Mah dahlin’ boy, please think on dis! What if you fail? De ofays, dey would peel off yo’ skin en hang you from a gallows en all of us would suffuh wit’ you fo’ what you done!’ But Ah said to huh, ‘de Lawd done put me down hyuh en He given me de dreams sos I can do His wuhk, en deyuh ain’t no man in dis wuhld can push me aweh from dis wuhk, so he’p me Christ.’
“‘Ah feel it!’ Black Ben yelled, en he done jump up from his bed wit’ his back all red en scarred, still cryin’, ‘Ah feel it, de demon comin’ down on us!’ En dere was a great yellin’ en hollerin’ of voices while Ah was roarin’, ‘De Lawd done gave me a task en Ah gonna fulfill it. We gots to sweep dis whole place clean of de wuhk of Satan en make it holy to God.’
“‘But Israel mah son!’ mah mamma yells den. ‘How you gonna do dis thang?’ En Ah said, ‘De plantuh, Massa Edwa’ds, is de witch en de hand of Satan hyuh. We gots to kill him.’ En de ovuh slaves done draw back a moment en whispuh togevuh en look at me in fea’, sayin’, ‘He gonna have us rahs up like ol’ Nat Tu’ne’ did? Ain’t we gonna die if we do dat?’ But Black Ben leapt up en he said, ‘Look at mah back! Look at it!’ En we all stared at de strange lace-wuhk of we’ts en of dryin’ blood en Black Ben said, ‘What godly man would say dat dis is good law? What rahchus man would allow such wicked crue’ty?’ En I said, ‘O mah frien’s en fam’ly, we been hidin’ undeh dis heavy han’ fo’ fa’ too long now, en now we gots to rahs up agains’ dis witch of Satan, fo’ de sake of our sou’s.’ En den I fe’t de spirit comin’ down, not of de Lawd but of de demon, all buzzin’ en growlin’ in mah ea’s en in mah skin en I did roar out, ‘War en blood!’”
Mister Edwards was not looking healthy in recent days. His face was thin and sallow, and his arms seemed more like bones with each passing day that I saw them. Yet I did not know what disease he had: I thought perhaps consumption. When he looked up at me, however, he smiled with what seemed to be real pleasure. He had been hunched over his desk working at writing some letter, but he put his pen back in its pot and turned his chair around to look at me. The room around him was inlaid with dark wood, and had bookshelves of old records, genealogies, and maps and surveys of the plantation. His window looked out to the west, through which wheeling shafts of sunlight pierced the room, but the glass was closed fast against the wind.
“Trapper,” he said softly. “I have just been at work, and I trust that this interruption is entirely worthy of my attention?” He did not say it with any presumption or with any malicious intent, but simply with the clear tone of authority. His blue eyes glimmered underneath his lenses, and his hands seemed clasped together a little too tightly in his lap, as though he might spring forward with newfound activity.
“Yes, sir,” I replied, and followed by recounting the whole curious incident that I had just experienced with the slave Israel at the pond. As he watched, Mister Edwards had an equally curious reaction: his eyes widened with fascination, and he made a steeple with his hands under his chin. When my tale was done, he slowly exhaled through his nose, and turned to look out the window for a moment in contemplation. As he did so, I felt that strange prickling, uneasy sensation spill down my back, and there was a whisper in my thoughts, an anticipation of dread. It seemed as though something foul was in the air, but I knew not what. O Lord, forgive me for how dimly I saw then.
When he turned back towards me, Mister Edwards smiled lightly. He put one hand on his knee and leaned forward in a somewhat conspiratorial fashion, and he said, “When Israel was born he was wedged wrongly in his mother’s womb. As he came forth, his feet emerged first, and his head last. It was so difficult for her that they were forced to pull on his shoulders to get him loose, and his head was squeezed terribly by the mother as he emerged. They wondered for days if the baby would live, for his head was so strangely shaped and deformed. Although it later settled into a normal form, yet I do wonder…” He chuckled softly and shrugged. “I do wonder if his already-deficient Negro wits were not somewhat worsened by the experience.” As he did so, I could not help but notice that his smiles and his chuckles all seemed to be precisely mechanical, not the actions of a man with feeling, but the behavior of some automaton who has forgotten his human life and become nothing more than a machine.
“‘Praise Him!’ Ah roared. ‘Praise de Lawd in aw of His glory!’ En we did let out a fierce hollerin’ en singin’ in praise, dancin’ as we do. ‘God is comin’ down in all His wraf on dis hyuh plantation, en we gonna be His han’s t’ sweep away de wicked!’ Black Ben was kneelin’ on de groun’, Ah do remembuh dat, wit’ his han’s up towa’ds Heaven en him sayin’, ‘Ou’ Faduh which aht in heaven…’ En Ah done come dancin’ down among de cabins en slammin’ mah han’s agains’ dem en makin’ a big drummin’ noise as Ah howled, ‘De Advuhsareh! De Enemy of ou’ Lawd Jesus! De Advuhsareh is hyuh!’ Aw de slaves now was in a big commotion en Ah knew dat dey was ready, so Ah said, ‘Come, mah frien’s, let us throw off dese Satanic chains!’ En we stahted runnin’ about, pickin’ up fahmin’ too’s en such: dose was gonna be ou’ weapons.
“‘De Lawd is wit’ us!’ Ah cried out. Den Black Ben done come up, en so did some ovuh boys Ah know, en Black Ben said to me, ‘De ovuhseeyuhs, what about dem?’ En I said, ‘Fleishuh we gonna bring down en sahlence, but Trappuh… Trapper is different. You leave him t’ me.’
“Den I said agin, ‘Praise Him!’ En dey was all cryin’ en moanin’ en singin’ en dancin’ all togevuh. ‘Caw Him down! O Lawd, tuhn yo’ han’ agains’ de wickedness in dis hyuh plantation en do what is rahchus en what is good! Damn this plantuh to Hell en sen’ his demon-spirit runnin’ away into Hell! Cuss Geo’ge Edwa’ds wit’ de plagues of Egyp’! Cuss him who don’t praise you no mo’ but is yo’ enemy en a frien’ of Satan! Cuss him! Cuss him, and delivuh dese poh slaves from de claws of de Advuhsareh now, Israel begs you!’”
Mister Edwards let out a sudden sigh, and closed his eyes, shaking his head. His face’s expressions deadened, and he slumped forward in his chair. Indeed, he moved rather like a marionette whose strings had all been cut. He looked at me, and when he tried to smile, the expression was ghastly, like a ghoul that had never encountered the human race. His mouth was pulled up into a tight crescent, but his eyes were empty of anything save pain. I suddenly felt as if I were looking at a hundred year old corpse where once there had been a living man. Around me, the presence and the dread crawled about my skin, buzzing and humming with alien vigor.
“I am not feeling well,” he croaked. He even sounded awful, his previously healthy voice squeezed down to the lifeless whisper of a dying man. Yet it did not seem to be consumption, for he did not cough, and there was no livid glow in his cheeks. His was the pallor of the grave, not of the afflicted. “Please… if the slave causes you any more trouble, do not worry me with it. I need… need time to myself.” He turned towards his desk and put his face in his hands. But as I left the room he did not weep; he did not make any sound at all.
I went out into the fields and took a deep breath of the air. The sun was lowering in the sky, the white light taking on a yellow hue, and as I listened, I heard what sounded like a holler of activity near the slave cabins, a great clamor of tongues in the voices of men, women, and children all mingling together. I felt a great alarm at this, for in their voices were sounds of anger. I turned about and ran at full speed, flying over stones and paths and grass, until at last I came to Adam’s door, upon which I pounded my fist heavily, crying his name aloud. When he emerged with a baffled and serious expression, I only gasped out to him, “The slaves are rising, Adam! Get your wife and children safe, then go to the plantation house and alert the family there. I will go and search for the ringleader.” Then I fled from him straightaway, hoping only that I might catch Israel before his madness doomed the entire plantation. All about me the presence was crowding, crawling, churning, and yet, o God, I did not see what You wished me to see. That would come afterwards, when it was already almost too late.
“It was Black Ben, Petey, Fat Newton, Little Newton, en me dat did come sneakin’ through de bushes den, watchin’ de two ovuhseeyuhs tawkin’ on de doo’step of de old Fleishuh house. We could not hea’ what dey was sayin’ but Ah saw dat Trappuh was much afraid, all shakin’ en quiv’rin’, en Ah knew den dat he, lahk me, could fee’ de presence weighin’ down. But Fleishuh was blahnd aw de way. We waited fo’ Trappuh t’ run off, en when he did, den we aw sprang fo’wahd togevuh.
“Fleishuh should have carrehd aroun’ a pis’ol if he was choosin’ t’ be mean t’ de slaves, fo’ we had anger agains’ him. We done drag him from de doo’step en raise our fisses agains’ his face while he did scream en holluh. But we made him quiet soon enough, all beaten into slumbuh, en den we done drag him back to de doo’step en Black Ben screamed down the hall t’ Fleishuh wahf, who was stan’in terruhbly afrehd, ‘You stay good en sahlent in hyuh, o’ we gonna come en finish de job wit’ yo’ bastahd husban’!’
“Den I said, ‘Kay, we gonna head ovuh en fahn’ Trappuh, ‘cause I be thinkin’ dat we can git him t’ he’p us. But fihst, get some rahfles out of dis house, ‘cause I know dat Fleishuh loves to be huntin’ en such.’ So we went into de house en we done push Fleishuh wahf out of de way, en we took de three rahfles off de waws, en we told he’ to git us de bullets en de powduh, en she did, en we was much obliged to he’, but Black Ben gave he’ de evil ah as we was leavin’ de house. Outsahd we done load up de guns en den we went off in sea’ch of Trappuh.”
Somewhere near my house (I cannot recall it now), I stopped in dread amazement. The presence was there, and I thought I heard in my ears the buzzing of its terrible voice. I turned about in search of it, yet it was all around me. Behind my ears, there was a pushing, pushing, and the sweat was dripping from my arms, though the air was growing cold. I could almost see it, a shadow on the edge of my vision flickering always just out of sight. I could almost taste it, a strange and metallic tang upon the tongue. I lowered my head and put my hands over my temples in a futile attempt to soothe the hammering in my head that had just begun, and was deleting my every thought. In this bewildered state, I forgot my original purpose of intercepting Israel, and began staggering towards my house. Even my feet were uncertain beneath me as this unholy barrage came against my senses.
I collapsed into my room, kneeling by my bed and propping my head under my clasped hands as I began to supplicate You for help on this bizarre and terrible day. Was I ill? Was I going mad? I could not tell, yet as I prayed to you, it seemed that the presence lifted from me, and I was left alone for a short and blessed time.
“When we done git to de Trappuh house I banged mah fist agains’ de doo’ and Ah done yell out, ‘Missuh Trappuh! Missuh Trappuh! It Israel! You deyuh?’ En we waited for a moment, en den we huhd de soun’ of footsteps comin’ from in de hall, en de doo’ swung open en deyuh was Trappuh. He looked aw confused en he said, ‘Israel, why ah you doin’ dis? How has de Lawd said to you dat dis is a rahchus thang?’
“En Ah said, ‘Fee’ de spirit comin’ down? De strengt’ of Satan all gavuhd about you?’ When he done nod slowly, Ah said den, ‘We rahsin’ up ‘cause we know dat Massa Edwa’ds is de witch of Satan hyuh, en we gonna cleanse dis place of him. You mus’ rahs yoself up now, Missuh Trappuh, en a-git yoself movin’: de battle be stahtin’.’’
“For a tahm deyuh was sahlence as Trappuh done stare at me and at de ovuh nigguhs wit’ his face all a mys’ery to me en his ahs pie’cin’ me like arruhs. In de distance, we huhd de soun’s of de ovuh slaves runnin’ about en hollerin’ en raisin’ deyuh weapons. But den Trappuh shook his head en he said, ‘No, Israel, no. Missuh Edwa’ds may not have been goin’ to chu’ch fo’ de las’ few yea’s, en mebbe he is feelin’ melancholy recently, but Ah do not accept yo’ belief dat he is responsible fo’ whatevuh dis… strangeness is. It must be somefin’ e’se.’ Den he lifted his head en he said, ‘En you are in rebellion. Mah honor deman’s dat Ah stan’ wit’ ma massa if you be threatenin’ him. Ah am sorreh, Israel.’
“Den he drew out a knahf and swung it towa’ds me, but Fat Newton caught his a’m en hold it back, en Black Ben roared out, ‘You ain’t gonna he’p no witch, ofay!’ en he swung de stock of his rahfle en hit solid agains’ de sahd of Trappuh head, en down de ovuhseeyuh went lahk a sack of rice. When Black Ben did raise de rahfle agin, Ah threw mah han’s up en said, ‘No! We gots to keep him sehf. What wrong he evuh done t’ you, Ben? Yo’ hate fo’ Fleishuh Ah be unduhstandin’, but Trappuh ain’t nevuh done no crue’ty to you o’ me.’ En Ben lowuhd his a’ms en looked ashame’ en he said, ‘Ah sorreh, Israel. Some spirit of anguh came down on me.’ So Ah patted him on de shou’duh en Ah said, ‘It fahn. Go into Trappuh house en see if you can’t get mo’ guns, en some rope. Tah up Trappuh, go back to de Fleishuh house en tah up Fleishuh too. Tell aw de nigguhs dat we gots to get enough guns to hold Suvahland House down en make shoh dat nobody can git out of deyuh en escape.’ What de wuhd fo’ dat, agin?” (“Siege,” the inquisitor answers) “Yeah, siege. Thank you kahnly. So Ah to’d dem, ‘Siege de house! Siege it good!’ So we did dat, aw sixty of us, runnin’ aroun’ en lookin’ fo’ guns o’ standin’ unduh de house wit’ rahfles raised up towa’ds de windows. Aw dis tahm Ah feel it comin’ stronguh wit’ each passin’ moment, a feelin’ of dread en of anguh bubblin’ up through mah blood and down mah backbone en chuhnin’ in mah guts. Ah tuhned mah head towa’ds de house en Ah pointed mah finguh en Ah said, ‘Ah’m a-come fo’ you, O’d No-Skin! Get yo’self ready!’ En Ah did stamp mah feet en sna'l lahk some angreh dawg.
“Den Ah huhd a scuffle comin’ from ovuh nea’ de road dat lead from Suvahland Fie’ds out to Sho’esby village, en Ah saw two slaves draggin’ a man back who was all twitchin’ en yellin’ fit to wake de dead, en dey done throw him bah mah feet en dey said, ‘One of de house-suhvants.’ All de suhvants, dey was mulattoes, always lo’din’ it over us en braggin’ ‘bout deir syrup-coluhd skins en bein’ fancy-tawkin high-yalluhs. As he was screamin’ so noisy, it rang in mah ea’s, so Ah went ovuh to him en Ah said to de two dat was ho’din’ him, ‘Make shoh he can’t run away.’ As Ah did watch, dey took out a big o’d hammer from de wuhkshop en swung it on de kneecap of de se’vant—Toby, his name was—en deyuh was a great crack en Toby done staht to skuh-reem and holluh, so den one of dem did kick Toby in de head some, en he was quiet. So we done drag Toby ovuh nea’ some trees wheyuh we was keepin’ Trappuh en Fleishuh, en we threw him deyuh, en aw dis tahm Ah fe’t it comin’ down on me, de spirit, en Ah knew now dat it been hatin’ me en everythang dat evuh was since befoh de wuhld was bohn. Hate.”
When my senses returned, the first thing that I was conscious of was a dirty great root sticking into my back. Shortly thereafter, I realized that I had a tremendous headache in my left temple. Thirdly, I felt as if I had been dipped in curdled, rancid oil, stale vomit and rusty water. Despite the pain surging through my head, I struggled up quickly and looked around in bleary wonderment at what the origin of this filth was. As I looked around, I could feel that this disgusting sensation was in fact the ‘presence’, a hundredfold stronger, now pressing down on me all over. It was enough to send shivers rolling down my back and set my thoughts to flight; but as I flailed about, I could feel that my arms were bound tightly against my sides with a length of rope, expertly tied. I pushed myself up with my back against a willow and looked about. Dusk was falling, with long low rays of orange cast over the fields and over the roof of Sutherland House. Once, this would have been a quiet and easeful time, with the slaves singing from their plantations and candlelight in the dining room of the house. Now, however, there was only the chaos of sixty shouting slave voices, and darkness in the House.
I felt almost sick with the presence over me, the horrid creeping disgust. As I looked, I saw that five or six feet to the left of me was a colored servant from the main house, with a horribly twisted knee. Upon seeing him, I was filled with a great trepidation. What frightened me, however, was not his injury, but the expression on his face. Even in sleep, there was a dreadful grimace on his face, and his eyes and cheeks seemed sunken and wasted as though he had some disease, and even his golden skin had a strange pallor. As I looked, I realized why this was so alarming: I had seen that same emaciation and pallor on the face of Mister Edwards earlier that afternoon.
As I realized this, there was a rolling wave over me, that same sensation of being steeped in vileness, so strong that I could taste it, and it seemed to sink into the very marrow of my bones. And as I sensed this wave coming upon me, I knew that it sensed me also. I felt myself confronted with some horrific intelligence, ancient and unrelenting, remote from any semblance of humanity. There were no words for its contempt: just as I was sickened by it, so it was disgusted by me. I was alone before it, and so foolish was I that I forgot You, and I did not pray or invoke Your name before it. For a brief moment, I was held fast by dread, and I was but an insect in the face of a gale. Then I felt an arm reach around my chest and pull me to my feet as I vomited violently. It held me while I was sick, and then I was leaned against the tree trunk, and I was looking into the brown eyes of Israel.
“I said to him den, ‘So, Missuh Trappuh, you really feel it now?’ En he did lick his lips en he nodded, his face aw covuhd wit’ sweat en his cheeks de coluh of cotton clof. Ah said, ‘A son of Satan been come down upon Suvahland Fie’ds, en it be wantin’ to destroy us now. It spreadin’ like a plague in de Suvahland House, en we a-gonna drahv it out wit’ de he’p of de Lawd.’ I fe’t mah haht goin’ a-pitter en a-patter in mah chest, for Ah knew dat dis hyuh man was lahk me, en he done see our Advuhsareh wit’ de ahs of his sou’. He stayuhd at me wivout sayin’ nufin’, lahk he ain’t nevuh seen me lahk he did den.
“At las’, he said, ‘En you ah shoh dat God is wit’ you?’
“En Ah said, ‘Rahchus is de Lawd of Hosses. We ah His chi’dren en we ah His soldiuhs agains’ de wicked wuhk of Hell, en we ain’t afrehd if dis gonna coss us ou’ lahvs. We ah His hoss.’
“He look at me for a moment en den he staht t’ laugh en t’ say, ‘Oh, boy, you gots to fo’give me fo’ gettin’ mad atchu ea’lyuh when you was dancin’ aroun’ attuh Ah had saved you from drownin’. When you was sayin’ ‘Lawd of Hosses’ Ah thought you was tawkin’ bout de animal, not de ahmy.’ It was strange to see Trappuh all smilin’ en laughin’ because dat was de fi’st tahm I evuh done see him happy. All of us nigguhs done been thought dat his face would break apa’t if he smile.
“Attuh he done chuckle a bit en regain’ his cawmness, Ah said to him den, ‘Kay, Missuh Trappuh, we gots to move now, we gots to make ou’ wah. Massa Edwa’ds be wuhkin’ fo’ O’d No-Skin en we a-gonna rush in dat house en stop him befo’ he bring a true demon into dis wuhld.’ Ah took out a knahf Ah done tehk from one of de wuhksheds en Ah cut through de bon’s aroun’ his a’ms. ‘You ready?’ I aksed him den.
“But he stopped en said t’ me, ‘Israel, how can you be so ce’tain dat Missuh Edwa’ds is de sou’ce of dis evil? It could jis’ be dat you ah followin’ yo’ haht wit’ dis en you ain’t followin’ de rea’ wuhds of de Lawd. If you put an innocent man t’ deaf ‘cause you think dat he some demon-wuhshippuh, de laws of bof Heaven en Earf wi’ be arrayed agains’ you, en Ah shan’t be deyuh t’ he’p you. Ah cannot stand wit’ you unless Ah am shoh dat… dat dis is true, aw dat you say t’ me.’
“I was frus’rated at dis en Ah said t’ him, ‘What you want, man, a message straight from God to your ea’s sayin, “Massa Edwa’ds is a witch!” Dat what you want, den? We ain’t got de tahm to be a’guin’ ‘bout dis. You can feel it comin’ down! O’d No-Skin, dis Imp of de Devil, is comin’, en unless you ready to get off yo’ butt en he’p us, you go sit off to de sahd en let us nigguhs do de task de Lawd gave us!’
“He open his mouf t’ say somefin’, but den we huhd de blast of a rahfle.”
We ran from the trees, out onto the main avenue in front of the House. More rifle-shots were going off: as we ran up to them, the slaves were all shouting and crying out together, declaring that the shot had come from a window of Sutherland House: they pointed to it, and I could see that there was almost no glass left in the frame, for the Negroes had fired on it so wantonly. They were clearly not very good shots, having never used guns before, yet they carried the weapons with a stark confidence. Yet that was not what first came to my attention. Instead, we were called forth by the sound of a man weeping and groaning, not speaking. As we went towards the sound, we saw the shape of a woman lying prone in a great pool of blood. The last sunlight was vanishing from the sky, and there was a terrible poignancy to it, such that my heart ached in my breast for him. The man, with a thin beard and big, calloused hands, was cradling the woman’s head in his lap, not caring or perhaps not even aware that the blood from the wound in her neck was getting all over his pant-legs.
As I approached and saw her face, I stopped, realizing that I knew who she was: Bertha, a vivacious young dame who had been putting on weight because she planned to have a baby with her husband, Wilbur. Had she thought of You in the last moment? Did she go to You an unwilling virgin, who had sought to bring children into this world to glorify Your name? O Lord, truly You give and You take away. I had known Bertha since I had first begun to work at this plantation years ago and she had been a little darling girl, and it filled me with a great horror to see her life bled out upon the April grass. And at the same time as I saw this most dreadful and horrific scene, I felt it again, crowding around me, that Hellish and most despicable presence, and now I felt from it not only hatred, but a savage and unthinkable glee, a ruinous gaiety. And I knew in that instant that it had commanded her murder, and was now rejoicing in it.
As I grit my teeth in horror and tears of rage filled my eyes, Israel came up beside me and looked down at her body, now growing stiff to her husband’s touch, and Wilbur, still weeping. The young Negro leaned over and whispered something into Wilbur’s ear, and pausing to snuffle in a breath, the widower bent down and kissed his bride’s cold face. Then he got to his feet, took another shuddering breath, and grabbed a rifle that he had laid down by the ground beside her, and nodded resolutely, though his eyes were red. And acting upon the inspiration of a moment (or was it Your inspiration?) I turned towards Israel and said, my voice choked with passion, “I am with you and yours, Israel. Let us drive out this accursed demon from this land forevermore.”
Israel smiled, and put his knife into my hands.
“‘Mah bruvahs en mah sissuhs!’ Ah crahd out to dem aw. ‘Massa Edwa’ds gonna call upon his massa now, and he gonna trah en bring de powuh of Satan down on dis hyuh lan’! We ain’t gonna let him do nufin’ lahk dat, ah we?’ En deyuh was a shoutin’ from dem all as dey raise up deyuh weapons, even if it wasn’t nufin’ but some little rock o’ branch of wood. All of dem shoutin’ togevuh, ‘Nevuh!’ Even mah mamma had an axe in huh han’s en she was yellin’ wit’ dem aw. Ah was nevuh prouduh of mah mamma den Ah was in dat very moment, let me te’ you. Willis stood at mah sahd wit’ Black Ben, wit’ de knahf clasp taht in his han’s. De sun done go away beneaf de horahzun, en de twahlaht was comin’ down, wit’ de fihst stahs appearin’ here en deyuh, en de fu’ moon comin’ up t’ disappea’ behan’ a bank of cloud. We aw rallied togevuh at de gates of de Suvahland House, en dey was sea’ed agains’ us, so mah mamma en some ovuhs who had axes went up to de doo’s en chop at dem till dey was aw busted open for us. Den we came roarin’ in!
“It was slow wuhk, but we made shoh dat it was good wuhk, nufin’ we would be ashame for when we gonna face de Lawd, dat naht or any ovuh. We went through de halls en fought de mulatto suhvants, who had guns, but we made shoh dat no more of us was kiyuhd lahk po’ Berfa. When we did faht dem, we made shoh dat we wasn’t hittin’ dem nowheyuh dat would ki’ dem, even dough we wasn’t too good at shootin’ wit’ dem guns en such. Sometahms we wasn’t even bov’rin’ wit’ duh guns but jis’ usin’ de stocks of de rahfles to beat de suhvants till dey was asleep. Yeah, aw dem suhvants was in de power of de demon, en we could tell it, fo’ dey aw had dose strange, empty faces, lahk dey was stahvin’, even dough dem house-suhvants was always fed en treated bettuh den us fie’d nigguhs. Dat whah dey was called ‘suhvants’ even dough dey was really slaves lahk us: dem mulattoes got all so’ts of proud ‘cause dey wasn’t pyuah black lahk us, so dey was always braggin’ en struttin’ aroun’. Ah do admit dat we was havin’ a bit too much fun wit’ beatin’ dem up, fo’ we had put up wit’ too many insu’ts en crue’ties from dem to fee’ dat dey was just de poh… uh. Wassat wuhd fo’ someone at de gettin’ end of a crahm or a wrongdoin’?” (“Victim,” the interrogator suggests) “Yeah, dey was just de poh victims of O’d No-Skin. Ha! No, dey wasn’t dat, no suh. We beat dem up good, dem mulattoes.
“Some of de ovuh nigguhs went up into de wing of de house wheyuh de Edwa’ds fam’ly was livin’, en dey was shoutin’ down to us, ‘We got de Edwa’ds back in deyuh rooms! Dey stayin’ back hyuh, en de Massa ain’t wit’ dem!’ Den Willis ran to mah sahd en said to me, ‘Den he’s in his office, Israel.’ En Ah said to him, ‘Show me de way now! Wit’ de sun settin’, de demon growin’ stronguh en soon it gonna be comin’ forf from Hell! We need to stop Edwa’ds befoh he too strong to stop! Now!’ En he went off runnin’ wit’ me followin’, till we came bangin’ into Edwa’ds room en we was lookin’ straight at him, whahl de presence was crawlin’ all about us, callin’ ou’ names as if it been waitin’ for us all ou’ lahvs.
He was not at his desk, but stood in the middle of the room. It was a truly incongruous image, for we had come bursting into the room shouting war-cries and waving about our weapons, expecting to battle with the legions of Hell themselves. I suppose I had forgotten what a weak and frail man Mister Edwards really was: he was hunched over, despite still being a man in the prime of his life, and as he stared at us, I felt as though I was looking at a man who was facing his fate, like a prisoner condemned. His blue eyes did not blink, but only watched, devoid of any passion. He did not flinch, either, when we came yelling and hollering into his room. His eyes only snapped to the side, seeing the doors we had flung open. He moved one hand in a lazy flick, and the doors slammed shut. I whirled around to see who had done it, preparing for a battle against whatever allies he had here: but there was nothing to have shut the door. When I turned back to look at Mister Edwards, he was smiling faintly, and this time, it was not a mechanical, false smile, but one full of a horrid anticipation. He showed all of his teeth, and his face was bent down so that he was staring up at us from under his pendulous brows. It made him look like nothing so much as the lunatic that I now knew that he was. His hands were folded in front of him, hanging over his lap. And all around us was the presence, hanging thick as molasses. The longer Mister Edwards stared at us, the stronger the presence began to feel. Indeed, having stumbled into his room, rather than rush at him and attack him, I felt as though I could not dare to approach him. He seemed like a monolith, this sickly aristocrat standing in the middle of his office and grinning at us insanely.
Before either Israel or I could say anything, however, Mister Edwards raised his hands and clapped them sharply while yelling out an invocation. I will not repeat it here: some of it was in a language that I could not comprehend at all, probably the royal dialect spoken in the Courts of the Inferno. He spoke also in English, but he spoke such execrable blasphemies and obscenities that I do not even wish to remember them, much less write them down here. Neither of us could raise a hand against him as he did this, for we were paralyzed with horror: the presence, the presence! The demon was coming in all his abominable splendor and we were like rabbits that tremble in the trap before the hunter’s death-blow. We felt it crawling under our skin, making our eyes water and our guts churn with nausea, our hands shake and shivers roll down our spines. My teeth chattered, and beside me, Israel was moaning, his eyes starting from his head and his breath coming forcefully through his nose as if he were choking to death. The heels of his hands were pressed against his temples, and his whole body shook. Mister Edwards raised his face then, and his smile widened until it seemed it would crack his face asunder. As Israel fell to the ground, battering his head against the floor and screaming, Mister Edwards looked at me. A blood-chilling laugh, high and raspy, came forth. He spoke to me.
“‘Why ah you standin’ wit’ dis mad nigguh?’ Edwa’ds said den to Willis. Ah remembuh dat was de fihst thang he said t’ Willis whahl Ah was lyin’ on de floo’. Ah could fee’ de demon sinkin’ his fangs into me, tryin’ t’ drahv me mad en rahd mah skin. But even as I did struggle agains’ de demon Ah did awso keep one ear open t’ know what Edwa’ds was tryin’ to do agains’ Willis. ‘What can you gain from dis?’ Edwa’ds was sayin’. ‘Look at you. You, a white man, he’pin’ dese hyuh nigguhs rahs agains’ me, fo’ what? De congratulations of Norvuhn ab’litionists? De praises of a bunch of wi’d beas’-men? Considuh yo’ position, mah good Missuh Trappuh. Dis can only lead to de gallows fo’ you, raht along wit’ dese sixty nigguhs. Dey only rahsin’ ‘cause Israel is lunatic enough t’ make dem think dat Ah am a crue’ massa.’ He laughed as I was twitchin’ on de floo’, feelin’ mah throat closin’ up and spit comin’ from mah mouf. Ah looked at him from de co’nuh of mah ah en Ah growled at him. He was gigglin’ lahk a boy, en wahpin’ at one ah ‘cause he was laughin’ so hahd.
“‘I am agains’ you in de name of de Lawd!’ Willis said t’ him. His voice was hahd en angreh. ‘You cannot deny it! You summoned him jis’ now wit’ dat swearin’ en cussin’ of yo’s! You are an enemy of God, Geo’ge Edwa’ds!’
“Edwa’ds did frown den. ‘God?’ he spat. ‘What has yo’ God done fo’ me? God has no love fo’ me! “It is easiyuh fo’ a camel t’ go through de ah of a needle den it is fo’ a rich man t’ entuh de kingdom of Heaven.” What God would let de wuhld be swep’ wit’ plagues en let chi’dren dah in deyuh cradles? What God would let his chi’dren remain slaves when dey name him deyuh Savior? A powuhless God, if he wan’s to he’p dem en he can’t, or a wicked God, if he can he’p dem en he won’t. If he is powuhless, den he means nufin’ t’ me, en if he is wicked, den Ah know him already. Dere are invisible powuhs in dis wuhld, it is true, but dey ah not any operation of yo’ so-cawed God. Dey ah de powuhs of will, of vict’ry, en of beauty untouched by de sweaty, fi’fy han’s of de unworvy!’ As he shouted dis hyuh speech, he got so mad dat he was spittin’ en screamin’ en wavin’ his a’ms about.
“‘God fo’gives,’ Willis said den. ‘Dat is what Ah know of him, dat he loves us aw. Ah hope in him ‘cause he loves me, no mattuh what Ah have done to offen’ him. You love nufin’, Geo’ge Edwa’ds! Ah have huhd of how you cannot walk into a chu’ch fo’ fea’ dat de Lawd wi’ rejec’ you en cuss you befo’ aw de people! What is yo’ name worf when you fea’ for it every secon’? A name as ancien’ as de plantations at Jamestown, a name connected to evry Foundin’ Fadduh, en aw you can do sit hyuh in yo’ office en stayuh at lettuhs? I fee’ nufin’ fo’ you but pity, Geo’ge Edwa’ds.’ Willis said aw dis, en he laughed lahk a man gone mad.
“Dis was just de thang dat would catch Edwa’ds ‘tention. His smile fell off en his ahs widen, whahl Ah felt de power of de demon-presence come off me enough dat Ah could git up en breave. But den de smile did come raht back, en Edwa’ds said, ‘You pity me, Willis? You, you sodomite, you faggot?’ Ah did tuhn mah face towa’ds Willis, all amazed, en Ah saw Willis was sore afrehd, his body frozen still en his mouf agape. Edwa’ds said, ‘Ah know whah you pray to God every day, Willis. Ah know whah you tehk no wahf en siyuh no sons. How you seduced one of mah slaves when you fihst came to wuhk hyuh, how you took him in de sahlence of de naht, en how he took his own lahf in tuhn!’ Edwa’ds threw his head back in triumph, his eyes buhnin’ in his head, en de presence all gav’rin’ about him. ‘We know, Willis.’ En he threw his han’ up en roa’ed, his face now gone uttuhly mad, ‘I call on you, de Great One Whose Name Has No End! O mah massa, come! Come!’
“En Willis stood unmovin’, his ahs empty of anythang at aw.”
I stood there, and it was as if the space of a moment was as long as all the ages of the Earth. I was no longer cognizant of Israel shouting at my side or grabbing at my shoulder, nor of the demonic presence bearing down on me, body and soul. I was not even conscious of what lay in front of my eyes, with Mister Edwards smiling at me with a hard, little grin of obscene victory. No. My whole body had frozen still as though a statue and I distinctly remember my fingers feeling cold as death and winter. When I tried to breathe, I felt it as though it was coming through a metal straw, ragged and painful. There were no real thoughts flitting through my end, only ragged little scraps of memory: all the years spent in prayer to You to lift the curse from me, all the repentance I had cried out at Your feet that You forgive me for my abominable crime. How safe I had felt knowing that at least the secret was with You alone. And now I was laid exposed before this creature who had once been a man, and I knew that Hell was calling me, calling in a bright and beautiful song. Oh, what they promised me! All the sorrow would be lifted from my shoulders! All the pain would be forgotten, and I would be free to rejoice in every delight that I could imagine. I remember the sound of Mister Edwards’ voice, creeping into my thoughts: “Celebrate with us. Drink from the fountains of eternal vigor and unending liberty. What use is your penitence, what use your weeping prayers? Ours is not a caravan of despair, but an endless festival of every sensation. Come, throw off your fetters and let the revelry fill your heart with rejoicing and delight. Come!” And as I looked at him, he stretched his hand out towards me, even while Israel was trying to grab at me and screaming for me to resist.
Lord my God, it was then that You showed Yourself. Through the window, I looked for a moment, but a moment, to tear my eyes away from the hideous spectacle unfolding before me. And out that window, I saw the land, all quiet and blue under the stars and clouds, and the sky, infinitely reaching. And in that moment, the moon appeared from behind a cloud, washing the world in silver, but it was not only the moon that appeared, for it was there that I saw You (truly saw You!), and there is no way to describe what I saw. All was made clear and clean in that light, all doubts were set to rest. I saw in that precise moment the perfect radiance unfolding, when all my world had gone mad. I knew then why I had struggled and why I had crushed down my every passion and my every lust, for here at last was a purity that I could know and call my own. Your grace was on me, Lord, and I knew it to be unshakeable, transcendent, and perfect. You had forgiven me, and I could accept my forgiveness. All the dread-weighted penitence slid from me forever, and I was innocent again at last.
So I knelt before Mister Edwards and cried out, “Be gone to Hell, you blasphemer! I renounce you here, in the name of the Almighty, the Compassionate, the Eternal who took our sins upon Himself: I renounce you in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord of Love!”
“When Willis went to his knees en praised de Lawd, fo' jis’ a moment Ah could feel somefin’ change in de room. De da’kness gavuhd about Edwa’ds, fo’ jis’ an secon’, faded. Ah could feel it all about me, de presence liftin’ off me en allowin’ me t’ think en t’ move en not be sahlenced o’ maddened bah de voice of de demon. Edwa’ds, he was lookin’ down at Willis all confused en deyuh was a great horro’ in Edwa’ds face. He ain’t been expectin’ to see nobody able t’ resis’ his demon-tawk, but hyuh was Willis, cryin’ out agains’ him and lovin’ de Lawd wit’ aw his haht even when de fo’ces of Hell was agains’ him. O’d No-Skin was aw confused en afrehd at dis man whose sou’ it could not graps, en Ah knew den dat Ah had mah chance to finish mah wuhk. Ah took a deep breaf. Den Ah roa’ed out, ‘O JEHOVAH!’ Hoo boy, dat got deir attention awright: deyuh was a great and fea’ful hissin’ in de ai’ from de demon, en Edwa’ds tried to ye’, ‘You cannot win! You cannot win!’ But I kep’ goin’ on, sayin’, ‘O JEHOVAH! Lawd of Noah! Lawd of Abraham! Lawd of Jacob! Lawd of Joseph! Lawd of Moses!’ En when I was cryin’ out de names of de prophets de demon roa’ed en how’ed, en Edwa’ds ran towa’ds me wit’ his knahf raise, but Willis jumped up en kicked him in de sahd. ‘Lawd of David! Lawd of Samuel en Nathan en Jeremiah en Ezekiel! Hea’ me now!’ Den Ah stahted t’ dance about en t’ jump, yellin’ out agin en agin, ‘O JEHOVAH!’ Now Ah was starin’ raht into de center of de da’kness, en Ah raise mah han’s up en Ah stab towa’ds it wit’ mah finguhs, hollerin’ en screamin’, ‘Get out of hyuh devil! Get out en back to Hell! O JEHOVAH! Get out out out OUT OF HYUH DEVIL!’ Sweat was pourin’ down mah face, Edwa’ds was fahtin’ wit’ Willis on de floo’, O’d No-Skin was stretchin’ black tendrils of shadow towa’ds me, en Ah was roarin’ en bellowin’, ‘O JEHOVAH! LISSEN, DEMON! GOD COMPE’S YOU! IN DE NAME OF DE FADUH, DE SON, EN DE HOLY GHOS’, GET OUT!’ En Ah took mah knahf en cut into mah a’m, shriekin’ lahk a baby, ‘O Lawd, accept dis off’rin’ en cast dis devil out!’ En SNAP en BOOM went de room, lahk a blas’ of thundah, en Willis en Ah was thrown across de floo’!
“Lawd! O’d No-Skin was aw full of wraf such as you men cannot even ‘magine. All aroun’ us deyuh was a screamin’ en a howlin’ like a thousand wo’ves or a great buzzin’ swahm of wasps, en at de center of de sto’m was de soun’ of a man cryin’ out in agony, lahk de soun’ of a rabbit bein’ to’n apa’t bah houn’s, o’ de soun’ a slave makes when de ovuhseeyuh is whippin’ him to deaf. Such a shriek it was dat it did seem to pie’ce mah ea’s en sink into mah head, en even wit’ mah han’s pressed tahtly agains’ mah ea’s to trah en keep it away, yet still it was drahvin’ into mah brain. Mah skin was bein’ lashed wit’ co’d lahk ice en heat like fiyuh, en a great win’ was blowin’ through de room, sendin’ aw de books flyin’ aroun’, hittin’ me en hittin’ Willis en knocking us to de floo’, desk crashin’ en windows blastin’ open. In de middle of dis stohm, Ah open mah ahs en Ah did look at what was happenin’ t’ Edwa’ds. Ah wish now Ah ain’t done dat, en dat Ah had been clevuh lahk Willis en kep’ mah fehs pressed agains’ de groun’ en mah a’ms wrapped aroun’ mah head, not movin’ but trustin’ in de Lawd. But no, Ah was foolish, en Ah looked up to see what was goin’ on. Well, deyuh was Edwa’ds at de center of de stohm, suspended in de ai’ lahk a doll in a chi’d’s hand, wit’ his a’ms taht agains’ his sahds en his head thrown back, jaw all gapin’ open. His ahs was starin’ open, bulgin’ out, lahk dey was gonna pop. Aw his blood was drainin’ out through his nose en his mouf en his ahs, in a great sca’let cloud, en hah above him, in de whi’lwin’, dere was a howlin’ mouf wit jagged teef en drippin’, hungry tongue, en it was drinkin’ de blood down like watuh. Dat mouf was roarin’ en growlin’ out somefin’ in de tongues of demons, but Ah did not lissen or heed dese wuhds but kep’ mah han’s ovuh mah ea’s, fo’ t’ lissen to dat is a thang dat wi’ drahv a man to madness forevuh. Ah jis’ watched, all amazed, as my howlin’ Massa choked en gasped. He was shriv’lin’ lahk a… lahk a flowuh, Ah suppose, dat been left out in de sun in summuh heat, but dat happen slowly. Dis was happenin’ raht befoh mah ahs, en it was terrible, so awfuw dat I fe’t sick to mah gut, even dough dis was a man dat I knew was damned to Hell bah his own wrongdoin’. I watched until de howlin’ mouf disappeared as de lass puff of his blood flew from his lips, en de win’ stopped, en de books fe’ to de groun, en de dry, wivuhd co’pse of Edwa’ds hit de groun’ wit de soun’ lahk a piece of wood.
“En den, it was gone. Sahlence. ‘Magine lahk you was caked in de wuhst so’ts of fi’f en ga’bage en yo’ heyuh was all caked agains’ you’ sca’p en your ahs was all gummed shut wit’ de grahme en de grunge. You ‘maginin’ dat? Kay, now jis’ think dat a flow of pyuah, hot watuh been spilled ovuh yo’ head, en it was sweet en good as vanilla o’ rosewatuh, en everythang bad o’ nassy you evuh done o’ thought ‘bout been washed away wit’ de diht. ‘Magine dat, bein’ clean aw de way down into yo’ haht en into yo’ sou’. Dat was how we fe’t den, en Ah ain’t ashame to say dat Ah crahd den, ‘joicin’ in de… wassat wuhd fo’ somefin’ dat got no en’?” (“Infinite”, the interrogator replies) “Yeah, infuhnit. ‘Joicin’ in de infuhnit me’cy en grace of de Almahty. Out in de halls Ah huhd mah brevren singin’ out dat o’d tune, ‘Wade in duh watuh! Wade in duh watuh, chi’dren!’ ‘Cause dat was how all of us was feelin’, en den dey was shoutin’, ‘God bless Israel en Willis Trappuh, en glory be to Jesus name amen!’ Oh yeah, all of us crahd out en praised God, but none of us was so happy as me en Willis, stan’in’ deyuh. So clean, so happy to be alahv, t’ feel ou’ hahts beatin’, t’ know dat we done save ou’se’ves from temptation! Even as we pushed away de o’d en drah co’pse of Missuh Edwa’ds, dat wreckage of a hell-damned man, unendin’ we fe’t it in us, de laht divahn. Oh, praise Jesus, how beautiful it was en how glorious is His name!” [Sobbing]
