Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 15, 2011 19:46:39 GMT -5
|
|
|
|
Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Oct 20, 2011 22:42:29 GMT -5
I kind of feel like I -should- read this to give you some feedback ..... but it looks like an awful lot to read about ponies  Will I be entertained? |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2011 22:54:15 GMT -5
I kind of feel like I -should- read this to give you some feedback ..... but it looks like an awful lot to read about ponies Will I be entertained? I dunno. I'm experimenting with a more kid like format of storytelling, though I still use some words that little ones wouldn't understand. If you like my writing normally, you'll still find fun characters and situations, but I can't say you'll enjoy it. You don't need to read it if you don't want to, Taed. I'm just posting here because I post everything I write here. I don't expect people to read half the stuff I put up >.> |
|
|
|
Post by Kaez on Oct 20, 2011 23:04:00 GMT -5
Don't let me forget to read this? Like, send me a PM if you don't have a response from me in a couple of days. I want to read the shit out of this.
|
|
|
|
Post by James on Oct 20, 2011 23:55:04 GMT -5
though I still use some words that little ones wouldn't understand. Yeah, I noted that as I read through the prologue. I mean obviously I can't definitely say anything without knowing you're intended target but I'd make the point that using the right vocabulary is very much a part of the style when it comes to writing for children. That's all I can really say to you though because I just didn't like it. And I doubt that's down to the writing; it's just the subject matter. And maybe a little bit of the style. I felt it was a little too jumpy and nudge-nudge at the Fourth Wall for me. But that might again come down to the subject matter. And all of those comments are just from the prologue, which is the only thing I've read. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 20, 2011 23:59:07 GMT -5
though I still use some words that little ones wouldn't understand. Yeah, I noted that as I read through the prologue. I mean obviously I can't definitely say anything without knowing you're intended target but I'd make the point that using the right vocabulary is very much a part of the style when it comes to writing for children. That's all I can really say to you though because I just didn't like it. And I doubt that's down to the writing; it's just the subject matter. And maybe a little bit of the style. I felt it was a little too jumpy and nudge-nudge at the Fourth Wall for me. But that might again come down to the subject matter. And all of those comments are just from the prologue, which is the only thing I've read. Makes sense. It's more geared toward people that are a fan of MLP, at any rate. |
|
|
|
Post by James on Oct 21, 2011 0:41:32 GMT -5
Yeah, I noted that as I read through the prologue. I mean obviously I can't definitely say anything without knowing you're intended target but I'd make the point that using the right vocabulary is very much a part of the style when it comes to writing for children. That's all I can really say to you though because I just didn't like it. And I doubt that's down to the writing; it's just the subject matter. And maybe a little bit of the style. I felt it was a little too jumpy and nudge-nudge at the Fourth Wall for me. But that might again come down to the subject matter. And all of those comments are just from the prologue, which is the only thing I've read. Makes sense. It's more geared toward people that are a fan of MLP, at any rate. I'd still have a look at the vocabulary. I think half the challenge (and fun) of writing in a style suitable for children is not the content, not the dialogue but purely picking what words to use. You don't want to be too simple but you also can't go too complex or they'll lose interest. Reffy and I have spoken about it several times. In fact, if she has the time you should get her to read a bit. |
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 21, 2011 9:48:54 GMT -5
I'm afraid Reffy's not a huge fan of mine these days; I'm sure Kaez will give me more than enough of a review, seeing as how he's a fan of the show. Thanks for reading the prologue, Agro, even though you're not a fan.  |
|
|
|
Post by Kwan on Nov 15, 2011 15:13:54 GMT -5
If I haven't gotten a pre-read/review in for you after tonight, give me a jab via PM.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Apr 1, 2012 19:36:57 GMT -5
|
|
