Post by GJRoberts ((Skypaw)) on May 29, 2010 20:42:14 GMT -5
(( Any suggestions for a title would be appreciated!))
(( This short story was written as a sort of emotional release/reaction to recent events in my life. I'd love any sort of constructive criticism, thanks.
))
An ominous sky rumbles and flashes with storm as sheets of rain cascade from the heavens, obscuring vision and painting the world a dull gray. Agitated ocean waves batter relentlessly against the base of an eroded sandstone cliff of about two hundred feet. High above the waves sits a small, plain cabin. The pitiful remains of a garden and flowerbeds surround the structure, clearly untended, and long since abandoned. The cabin itself, in a state of severe neglect and disrepair, would appear abandoned as well were it not for the harsh white light of a single fluorescent bulb illuminating the dirt outside one of the cracked windows.
Beneath the light, there is an old wooden desk surrounded by hundreds of sheets of paper covered in barely legible scrawling. A digital clock on a wall above the desk shows ‘9:00’. Hunched over the desk and perched on a rickety metal stool is a man named Nathaniel Price.
~~~
No, no! All wrong, all wrong. You idiot! Idiot! What would Sarah think?
Nathan hisses with rage and tosses the offending paper to the floor with its multitude of predecessors. He begins again on a fresh sheet of paper, scratching madly away with a nearly empty pen. A moment later, that paper too joins the pile on the ground as Nathan gives another cry of frustration.
He launches himself from the stool to lean heavily against a wall; tears stream down his face as he sobs pitifully, and he slowly slides down to the floor to hug his knees tightly to his chest. He can do little more than weep as his own mind proceeds to attack him with an unending barrage of emotion.
Nathan gasps, struggling to draw breath. His mind returns to the day when it all began.
The sun had shone brightly over the beautiful cliff side property. Nathan had just signed the last necessary paperwork to purchase the small cabin and its acre of land; Sarah was overjoyed. She laughed and pulled Nathan by the hand up to the safety rail at the edge of the cliff.
“The ocean is so beautiful, Nathaniel!” she cried. Amused as always by her constant giddiness, Nathan only smiled and helped her climb higher on the rail, so that she could see further across the water. Gazing up at her face, lit up with childlike fascination and wonder, Nathan felt more in love than he had ever imagined possible. He didn’t understand how he could have been so lucky, to marry such an amazing and inspiring woman. Lost in thought, Nathan didn’t notice Sarah moving up another rung, and another. He finally came to his sense at the sharp sound of brittle iron snapping, followed by a gasp and panicked screaming. Nathan reached out with a desperate yell, but only barely brushed the tip of his bride’s outstretched fingers before Sarah plummeted to the rocks and ocean below. Nathan stared in shock, and fell to his knees. He began to weep, salty tears for his new wife taken from him at the happiest moment of his life...
Nathan shakes his head violently to expel the memory from his mind. Nathan rises slowly and unsteadily, using the wall as a support. He quickly wipes the tears from his face. He looks to the clock: past midnight. He rubs his eyes with his hands and concludes that there would be no benefit in sleeping now; the nightmares would come back. A walk, he decides, would be the best way to clear his mind. Moments later, he is on the front porch in a deep blue parka, staring into the pouring rain. He sets off walking; he has no destination, no purpose but to keep moving.
Just keep walking is the only thought in Nathan’s head for an hour or more. Ignoring the rain, he meanders aimlessly across the property; a lone figure barely visible in the weather. Suddenly, he becomes acutely aware of his surroundings. In their wandering, his restless legs have brought him to that place where, years ago, he had lost that beautiful, happy woman that he had only just begun to know. Nathan runs his hand over the broken rail - still unrepaired after so many years - and chokes back the tears that inevitably begin to well in his eyes. The man’s entire body shakes with the effort it takes to hold them back. He steps on to one of the rail’s lower rungs; the same his dear Sarah had stood on first. He steadies himself and takes a deep breath; stares at the churning water far below.
On impulse, he steps up another rung; and another. Another breath. Another rung. He looks back at the decrepit cabin and sighs. Then, gritting his teeth, he flings himself out over the cliff’s edge.
~~~
The storm continues to rage. The waves continue to batter the shore. The rain continues to pour down on the small cabin. Inside, the fluorescent bulb flickers once, then goes dark.
(( This short story was written as a sort of emotional release/reaction to recent events in my life. I'd love any sort of constructive criticism, thanks.
))An ominous sky rumbles and flashes with storm as sheets of rain cascade from the heavens, obscuring vision and painting the world a dull gray. Agitated ocean waves batter relentlessly against the base of an eroded sandstone cliff of about two hundred feet. High above the waves sits a small, plain cabin. The pitiful remains of a garden and flowerbeds surround the structure, clearly untended, and long since abandoned. The cabin itself, in a state of severe neglect and disrepair, would appear abandoned as well were it not for the harsh white light of a single fluorescent bulb illuminating the dirt outside one of the cracked windows.
Beneath the light, there is an old wooden desk surrounded by hundreds of sheets of paper covered in barely legible scrawling. A digital clock on a wall above the desk shows ‘9:00’. Hunched over the desk and perched on a rickety metal stool is a man named Nathaniel Price.
~~~
No, no! All wrong, all wrong. You idiot! Idiot! What would Sarah think?
Nathan hisses with rage and tosses the offending paper to the floor with its multitude of predecessors. He begins again on a fresh sheet of paper, scratching madly away with a nearly empty pen. A moment later, that paper too joins the pile on the ground as Nathan gives another cry of frustration.
He launches himself from the stool to lean heavily against a wall; tears stream down his face as he sobs pitifully, and he slowly slides down to the floor to hug his knees tightly to his chest. He can do little more than weep as his own mind proceeds to attack him with an unending barrage of emotion.
She’d still be here if it wasn’t for you!
You should be dead, not her! You failed her!
You murdered her! Why are you still alive when she’s not?
You’re not even worth the air you breathe.
It’s your fault! Your fault! YOUR FAULT!
You should be dead, not her! You failed her!
You murdered her! Why are you still alive when she’s not?
You’re not even worth the air you breathe.
It’s your fault! Your fault! YOUR FAULT!
Nathan gasps, struggling to draw breath. His mind returns to the day when it all began.
The sun had shone brightly over the beautiful cliff side property. Nathan had just signed the last necessary paperwork to purchase the small cabin and its acre of land; Sarah was overjoyed. She laughed and pulled Nathan by the hand up to the safety rail at the edge of the cliff.
“The ocean is so beautiful, Nathaniel!” she cried. Amused as always by her constant giddiness, Nathan only smiled and helped her climb higher on the rail, so that she could see further across the water. Gazing up at her face, lit up with childlike fascination and wonder, Nathan felt more in love than he had ever imagined possible. He didn’t understand how he could have been so lucky, to marry such an amazing and inspiring woman. Lost in thought, Nathan didn’t notice Sarah moving up another rung, and another. He finally came to his sense at the sharp sound of brittle iron snapping, followed by a gasp and panicked screaming. Nathan reached out with a desperate yell, but only barely brushed the tip of his bride’s outstretched fingers before Sarah plummeted to the rocks and ocean below. Nathan stared in shock, and fell to his knees. He began to weep, salty tears for his new wife taken from him at the happiest moment of his life...
Nathan shakes his head violently to expel the memory from his mind. Nathan rises slowly and unsteadily, using the wall as a support. He quickly wipes the tears from his face. He looks to the clock: past midnight. He rubs his eyes with his hands and concludes that there would be no benefit in sleeping now; the nightmares would come back. A walk, he decides, would be the best way to clear his mind. Moments later, he is on the front porch in a deep blue parka, staring into the pouring rain. He sets off walking; he has no destination, no purpose but to keep moving.
Just keep walking is the only thought in Nathan’s head for an hour or more. Ignoring the rain, he meanders aimlessly across the property; a lone figure barely visible in the weather. Suddenly, he becomes acutely aware of his surroundings. In their wandering, his restless legs have brought him to that place where, years ago, he had lost that beautiful, happy woman that he had only just begun to know. Nathan runs his hand over the broken rail - still unrepaired after so many years - and chokes back the tears that inevitably begin to well in his eyes. The man’s entire body shakes with the effort it takes to hold them back. He steps on to one of the rail’s lower rungs; the same his dear Sarah had stood on first. He steadies himself and takes a deep breath; stares at the churning water far below.
On impulse, he steps up another rung; and another. Another breath. Another rung. He looks back at the decrepit cabin and sighs. Then, gritting his teeth, he flings himself out over the cliff’s edge.
~~~
The storm continues to rage. The waves continue to batter the shore. The rain continues to pour down on the small cabin. Inside, the fluorescent bulb flickers once, then goes dark.
)