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Post by ARSmith ((Wolfeh)) on Jan 2, 2010 17:14:45 GMT -5
Turn left and run,
Stop. Turn right.
Through the cave,
And into the darkness.
Turn left and run,
Stop. Turn left.
Through the darkness,
And into the cave.
There is no escape. |
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Jan 2, 2010 18:09:05 GMT -5
Really liked this. The pacing was perfect. The shortness making the reader speed-up. The instructions were a little confusing, but this makes the reader feel the sense of panic. Very dark :]
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Post by ARSmith ((Wolfeh)) on Jan 2, 2010 18:23:00 GMT -5
Thankiez! :] That's -exactly- what I was going for! :'D
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Post by Dylaria on Jan 5, 2010 14:29:23 GMT -5
First off I agree with Reffy on the pacing and panic. I also liked how you didn't try to overstretch into wheres and whys. It gives a blinding fear kind of feel to it that I enjoyed. Don't take this the wrong way but I felt a bit of a nightmare vibe off it, as if I were in a panicked dream without knowing it. I'd say that this is a good example of short and simple working well.
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Post by ARSmith ((Wolfeh)) on Mar 17, 2010 0:53:21 GMT -5
That's exactly what I was going for, Mrs. Dyl. :]
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