Blind

[Jenny (Reffy)]

Its a good start. I was intrigued. It really isn't as bad as you think it is

Only comment I'd make is that you seem to be keeping it minimalist which will hurt you in the long run, since you'll have to come up with more plot to keep going than say me! I have a simple plot, padded out by descriptions, magics, explanation of magics, races, history, physics and the effects, etc

(or at least I will have those things when I get round to that chapter)

[Cabawaba]

Yeah that's why I'm thinking about scrapping it, my brain doesn't WANT to go into the history of these characters. :/

[Jenny (Reffy)]

You have a silly brain I'd love to know the history of these people. They are already very interesting.

[Kaez]

Reminds me of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, in fact. I quite liked it so far, save a few little errors throughout.