AEShenhav (Ali)
Junior Author
Jewish Princess
Weird and creepy.
Posts: 3,204
|
Post by AEShenhav (Ali) on Oct 29, 2009 13:08:40 GMT -5
Okay okay, I'll tell you mah idea. I'd do the third part should be done in much the same manner as the first and second of coarse. But then I'd kill all the soldiers violently and needlessly, saving the Commander for last who dies an even more needless death. For a moment I was thinking about a cowards death but that may be a bit overboard. I'd defiantly emphasize the needlessness of the whole situation though. Overall, I think it would make Pvt Victor's death the most meaningful of all in a meaningless situation. He did kill himself, but he went out of his own volition to sit next to his ancestors. His comrades wouldn't be as lucky, probably being burned in a pile or a mass grave. But that's just what I would do with the story.  |
|
|
|
Post by Kaez on Oct 29, 2009 13:12:32 GMT -5
Okay okay, I'll tell you mah idea. I'd do the third part should be done in much the same manner as the first and second of coarse. But then I'd kill all the soldiers violently and needlessly, saving the Commander for last who dies an even more needless death. For a moment I was thinking about a cowards death but that may be a bit overboard. I'd defiantly emphasize the needlessness of the whole situation though. Overall, I think it would make Pvt Victor's death the most meaningful of all in a meaningless situation. He did kill himself, but he went out of his own volition to sit next to his ancestors. His comrades wouldn't be as lucky, probably being burned in a pile or a mass grave. But that's just what I would do with the story. No, I think you're right, that's the general direction it seems to be taking -- it can't have any victories in it. Eventually, everyone was going to have to die and none could be for a grand cause. I quite agree. |
|
AEShenhav (Ali)
Junior Author
Jewish Princess
Weird and creepy.
Posts: 3,204
|
Post by AEShenhav (Ali) on Oct 29, 2009 13:18:04 GMT -5
No, I think you're right, that's the general direction it seems to be taking -- it can't have any victories in it. Eventually, everyone was going to have to die and none could be for a grand cause. I quite agree. I have faith that you could write it better than I could. I'm looking forward to it but as you say, it may be a few months. Alas! I'll just have to wait it out. ;D |
|
|
|
Post by Kaez on Oct 29, 2009 13:20:06 GMT -5
No, I think you're right, that's the general direction it seems to be taking -- it can't have any victories in it. Eventually, everyone was going to have to die and none could be for a grand cause. I quite agree. I have faith that you could write it better than I could. I'm looking forward to it but as you say, it may be a few months. Alas! I'll just have to wait it out. ;D A)) I'd argue that. If you want to take the reigns of rewriting this plot, feel free. B)) Originally I intended to make this my NaNoWriMo story but changed my mind at the last minute here. Still, I'll be re-instituting the blog to keep my progress on the new story (which, for sake of the ever-so-unlikely publication, I won't post in full), so you'll be getting -something- from me, writing wise, even if not a full story. |
|
AEShenhav (Ali)
Junior Author
Jewish Princess
Weird and creepy.
Posts: 3,204
|
Post by AEShenhav (Ali) on Oct 29, 2009 13:32:00 GMT -5
A)) Naw, I couldn't take the reigns from you. That'd be like getting a trained bear-riding monkey to take the reigns from an expert horseman. But thanks though. ;D
B)) I look forward to it, even if it's not a continuation of this piece. I wish I had the time to do the NaNoWriMo thing you all are so stoked on but I do not. A chaotically timed life breeds inconsistency. It suxxors.
|
|
