[3] The Writing Discussion Thread

[James]

Oh god, oh god. More Wright fun:

www.scifiwright.com/2014/12/the-perversion-of-a-legend/

[The Counter Cultist(Sawyer)]

Apr 5, 2015 1:46:49 GMT -5 James said:

Oh god, oh god. More Wright fun:

www.scifiwright.com/2014/12/the-perversion-of-a-legend/

Hahahahahahemad

In all seriousness, I didn't watch enough of book 4 to make a proper thought of the ending. But I still thought it was sweet.

In other words, Wright's an ornery cunt.

[Matteo ((Taed))]

I can't believe he's up for multiple Hugos. The one book of his I read was fine, I guess, but the writing was very shallow and pretentious.

[James]

It's because he actively campaigned for votes with other "Men's Rights Activists". They posted links on lots of websites, apparently got Gamergate (in of itself ridiculous enough) people involved, telling people to pay the fee for Worldcon and then to vote for a specific list of candidates. It's not against the rules of the Hugos. Technically John Scalzi and Charlie Stross post up lists as well, but they post up who -they- voted for, which is I suppose a hint to vote that way, but not particularly. Especially compared to actively telling people "to pay up for a chance to annoy those social justice warriors".

[Sekot]

Apr 5, 2015 17:47:18 GMT -5 James said:

Mar 12, 2015 3:57:45 GMT -5 James said:

To kick things off, I'll throw a story down as an early marker:

awritersrecluse.proboards.com/post/380915/thread

I'm going to start rewriting this in the next couple of days, so any reviews here will still be helpful if you want to get an exchange going, Ad.

Mmmk. There's a reason I don't really review, and its mostly because I'm not a nice editor. Though, recently, I've come to the conclusion that if I want to do it to my own writing I need practice. So here we go:

I read through the entire story twice. I started marking up lines, and then was marking up entire paragraphs, and then I stopped. I can't do a line-by-line edit because I'll want to rewrite entire paragraphs.

First off: Who's your audience? Because that informs how I look at the voice and style of this story. Because, just from reading it, I can't tell what you're attempting. I know you can write in an "older" voice, and I was excited because it looks like you were attempting the POV of a small child. But as I continued, you began to hint that this was a recounting of a memory from someone who is much much older. And then I just wonder if the narrator suffered from developmental delays. The sentences are short with minimal description, or at least not very interesting description. But, and oddly enough, you abuse commas.

And that's hilarious, because I do the same thing, I overuse commas all the time. But sometimes we need to break up sentences. Keep them short, keep them interesting. There were a lot of times when reading the story that I felt like the narrator was just meandering. Entire paragraphs had to be reread multiple times so that I could understand what the character was trying to say. The two paragraphs where the narrator describes their parents is probably the earliest offender and where I recognized I couldn't do a line-by-line without rewriting your stuff.

The façade was so passionless that whenever it broke, I used to sit at the wall and listen. People roll their eyes and ask what type of person watches soap operas. Humans do. Some just find their source closer to home. It was interesting; it was different. I learnt that my mother grew frantic and angry. My father always stayed calm. He never yelled. As a child, I respected that. He seemed so in control. When I was older, I realised that his calmness wasn't an iron personality, but rather solid, steel indifference. My mother screamed because she cared.

Every so often, I would sit down and explain to my father what was wrong in the house. I was every political and sport pundit rolled into one seven year old package. I told him how my mother had done things wrong, or why she needed to do this. You always want to do new things, I'd say. Mummy never wants to do anything, she's always thinking of reasons why not to she can’t. He would nod and agree and I felt very wise. I never told my mother anything. She had my sibling to be concerned with, who appeared without warning as if to somehow pave over the potholes in my parents' marriage. Being older, having experienced those golden years of an eldest child’s reign, I wasn't very good at sharing. I had to share my mother; my father was all mine.

I can understand it now that I've literally read it five times. When I first read it I was so confused because you switch between mother and father so many times in one paragraph that I'm just kinda lost. So, like, I'd rewrite this and start with a description of the mother. I'd describe her personality, then I'd begin to integrate her relationship with her husband and then, in the next paragraph, describe him.

I'm also not getting a really good sense of the character's impression of these people. At first, I thought he liked his father and hated his mother. And maybe he did, but toward the end of the story I was kind of at a loss because he seemingly chose his mother out of nowhere and I'm just like what the fuck I thought he hated her. And that's ultimately my point, I don't understand what I'm supposed to be getting out of these paragraphs. The character is telling me things, but I'm not understanding because there's not enough substance there. Yeah I get an idea of what their life is like, but I'm supposed to be reading this through the eyes of seven/fifty year old and instead I'm getting a run down from a neutral observer. So I stop caring about these people because it doesn't seem like the character does.

It crossed my mind that I couldn't keep running forever. My legs were getting sore and my insides burned from swallowing so much of the strange, soap flavoured air. The figure grew closer. I wondered if maybe I should stop and just let him take me. He was going to catch me anyway, why was I making myself hurt for no reason. I pushed the thought from my mind. It seemed to me that I had only one choice, to keep racing forward and see what was beyond the trees, to see what could be done. I ran faster. The figure grew closer. The singing grew more insistence, snatched whispers of French gathering around me like a coat. I clung to them, a familiar presence in a strange place.

This is a good example of where long sentences with complex structures aren't doing you any favors. He's being chased. Cool. I don't care. I don't care because there's no sense of urgency from the narrator. The sentences are too long. You wanna create suspense so keep your sentences short. Make them do the work for you where words aren't or can't.

"The figure grew close. I wondered if maybe I should stop. Maybe I should let him take me. I thought I was prolonging the inevitable anyway. Instead I pushed the thought from my mind. It seemed to me that I had one choice: keep racing forward. See what's beyond those trees. See what I could do. I ran fast. The figure grew close. I ran faster. The figure grew closer. The singing grew more insistent, snatched whispers of words gathering around me like a coat. I clung to them. They were a familiar presence in a strange place."

I know you know how to write so I'm not going to lecture you here. I think my rewrite creates a tempo, a better understanding of the speed or necessity that the narrator is/was experiencing. In the original, I'm just wondering how this dude has all this time to think if he's being chased. I know when I'm scared shitless I don't think in long sentences.

Ending like an accident-touched love, the tree tunnel vanished and I was running through a field, a tiny cottage sitting on the horizon. I hadn’t heard of the word ‘rustic’ yet, but the cottage fitted the term perfectly. It was made of honest, hard stone and natural, thick wood. Round like an Anglo-Saxon house, a chimney sat haphazardly on top, balancing like some neglectful god had dropped it from high above. There was a great oak door and I ran to it, yanking it open as the figure emerged from the tree tunnel behind me. Forgetting that this wasn’t my house, ignoring the strange black sky that shone like the sun and the gentle music that whispered as the wind, I slammed the door shut and pulled the great wooden lock into place.

And I know you know how to write cause you put this down and I'm in love with it. Its probably the clearest paragraph in the entire story, the best written. It has a singular focus, one entire point about it: The house. That's all its about. And you achieve here what you didn't earlier: a sense that this kid is scared. I feel for him up until that moment the lock falls into place and I can breathe again.

And then I'm done caring. Because the rest of the story kind of meanders about his time in the house and then his return home and how everyone else seems to be living a life and its cute and all but ohmygod what his this character even thinking? I'm not getting it. Why did he stay with his mother? Did I miss something about the house? Probably, because there isn't any sense of wonder from the kid, there's nothing there about how he feels about the house outside of a few scattered sentences in disparate paragraphs.

That's not entirely fair. Maybe the character lacks any specific voice once in the cottage?

No, he has a voice. Its just not a particularly strong one. I can guess the "why" of it all, but I find it difficult to point to any one sentence why the character is doing anything. I know you have a particular style and voice, its kinda dry, kinda witty, a little touch of a historian in you, and this entire story feels like a departure. Maybe I haven't read anything of yours in some time, but this doesn't sound like the James I know. And that's not a bad thing, but it needs to be developed more. Either you write it in the voice I know, or you do a better job of creating the character and his voice. Also, change up the tense when the narrator switches to recounting a memory and talking about current experiences. Every once in a while he interjects an opinion that comes from the "now", and it would probably be better served if it was in present-tense. Like when he's describing how he feels about empty cottages at different ages.

The ending also doesn't make much sense.

And I had to read it again to make sure I got it. Cause I was gonna ask, who the fuck is Eddie?

The first and last paragraph need to be in present tense so that it separates it from the memory. Otherwise I'm lost and have to reread it over and over. I am so very, very, very guilty of doing the same thing. And it didn't work for me. And it doesn't work for you. Even now I'm kind of hesitant to put this down because I'm not sure if that was your actual intent to have the first and last paragraph be separate from the story. If it wasn't then I feel foolish but it also stands that the writing isn't clear enough to make the distinction and I'm still left wondering who the fuck Eddie is.

And is the narrator a boy or girl? If it doesn't matter that's cool. I just feel silly about saying "he" when it might be "she".

Overall, my takeaway is that the person slams the door in someone's face and it reminds him of his experiences with his parents. It reminds him of the time his father left, and how he sought to look for him. Instead, he ends up in this magical adventure. It changes him, somehow. I'm not super clear what happens in that part. And then he returns home. And now he doesn't like his father and wants to be with his mother. Why? I don't really know. And now we're back in present tense and the narrator has slammed the door in Eddie's face.

Ok. Is that the story? I'm really not trying to be an ass here. I'm really really not and I"m sorry if it comes off that way because you're a much better reviewer than I am.

What I see is a good idea for a story with wonky execution. You say you're rewriting it which is great cause it needs it. It needs more focus from paragraph to paragraph. I want to feel the narrator more, I want to feel them out and get an understanding of their emotions. Right now, I feel like I've had a story dispassionately recited to me. And even in the end, I don't really know how the narrator feels about slamming the door. I get a sense of the narrator's maturity cause they know that Eddie is just off drinking some pints instead of running off in some mad adventure, but is the narrator conflicted about that transformation? Are we just supposed to note it and move on? That's fine too and those are some good discussion questions I guess, so I'll give you some browny points there, but I can't help but feel like I'm leaving this story confused.

[Sekot]

I feel like I might've been a little over the top, cause it wasn't that I didn't like it. It just needed some work. I hope I didn't come off as a super jerk or misunderstand where you were going with the piece. Maybe someone else could provide more clarity/perspective.

[James]

AHHHHH, thank you so much, Sekot. Seriously. This is so helpful.

Apr 5, 2015 19:58:58 GMT -5 Sekot said:

First off: Who's your audience? Because that informs how I look at the voice and style of this story. Because, just from reading it, I can't tell what you're attempting. I know you can write in an "older" voice, and I was excited because it looks like you were attempting the POV of a small child. But as I continued, you began to hint that this was a recounting of a memory from someone who is much much older. And then I just wonder if the narrator suffered from developmental delays.

It's sort of a twist between the two. It's someone older returning to the memory of their younger self, but getting drawn so deep into it that at times it sounds like their younger self is doing the retelling. I guess the best way to put it, is to have the perspective of a child with the occasional guidance of an older narrator.

I know I'm essentially making a rod for my own back, because committing full hog to either choice would be -easier, but I think if I can get this combination of both right, it'll be -better-.

But my audience is definitely mature. This is an adult's story about being a child, very much in the vein of some of Gaiman's stuff (which I had finished reading just before writing this).

And that's hilarious, because I do the same thing, I overuse commas all the time. But sometimes we need to break up sentences. Keep them short, keep them interesting. There were a lot of times when reading the story that I felt like the narrator was just meandering. Entire paragraphs had to be reread multiple times so that I could understand what the character was trying to say. The two paragraphs where the narrator describes their parents is probably the earliest offender and where I recognized I couldn't do a line-by-line without rewriting your stuff.

The façade was so passionless that whenever it broke, I used to sit at the wall and listen. People roll their eyes and ask what type of person watches soap operas. Humans do. Some just find their source closer to home. It was interesting; it was different. I learnt that my mother grew frantic and angry. My father always stayed calm. He never yelled. As a child, I respected that. He seemed so in control. When I was older, I realised that his calmness wasn't an iron personality, but rather solid, steel indifference. My mother screamed because she cared.

Every so often, I would sit down and explain to my father what was wrong in the house. I was every political and sport pundit rolled into one seven year old package. I told him how my mother had done things wrong, or why she needed to do this. You always want to do new things, I'd say. Mummy never wants to do anything, she's always thinking of reasons why not to she can’t. He would nod and agree and I felt very wise. I never told my mother anything. She had my sibling to be concerned with, who appeared without warning as if to somehow pave over the potholes in my parents' marriage. Being older, having experienced those golden years of an eldest child’s reign, I wasn't very good at sharing. I had to share my mother; my father was all mine.

I can understand it now that I've literally read it five times. When I first read it I was so confused because you switch between mother and father so many times in one paragraph that I'm just kinda lost. So, like, I'd rewrite this and start with a description of the mother. I'd describe her personality, then I'd begin to integrate her relationship with her husband and then, in the next paragraph, describe him.

I'm also not getting a really good sense of the character's impression of these people. At first, I thought he liked his father and hated his mother. And maybe he did, but toward the end of the story I was kind of at a loss because he seemingly chose his mother out of nowhere and I'm just like what the fuck I thought he hated her. And that's ultimately my point, I don't understand what I'm supposed to be getting out of these paragraphs. The character is telling me things, but I'm not understanding because there's not enough substance there. Yeah I get an idea of what their life is like, but I'm supposed to be reading this through the eyes of seven/fifty year old and instead I'm getting a run down from a neutral observer. So I stop caring about these people because it doesn't seem like the character does.

Hmm. I'll definitely look at making it easier to read through.

The fact that there's a hint of disinterest (neutral observer) from the prose is kind of intentional. I wanted to suggest that enough time has passed for the past to not be so raw, but perhaps I've gone too far to the point where there's no point in telling the story at all.

You ultimately did get what I wanted out of those paragraphs, though, which was that her opinion of her parents was different. The switch, I'll get to down below.

It crossed my mind that I couldn't keep running forever. My legs were getting sore and my insides burned from swallowing so much of the strange, soap flavoured air. The figure grew closer. I wondered if maybe I should stop and just let him take me. He was going to catch me anyway, why was I making myself hurt for no reason. I pushed the thought from my mind. It seemed to me that I had only one choice, to keep racing forward and see what was beyond the trees, to see what could be done. I ran faster. The figure grew closer. The singing grew more insistence, snatched whispers of French gathering around me like a coat. I clung to them, a familiar presence in a strange place.

This is a good example of where long sentences with complex structures aren't doing you any favors. He's being chased. Cool. I don't care. I don't care because there's no sense of urgency from the narrator. The sentences are too long. You wanna create suspense so keep your sentences short. Make them do the work for you where words aren't or can't.

"The figure grew close. I wondered if maybe I should stop. Maybe I should let him take me. I thought I was prolonging the inevitable anyway. Instead I pushed the thought from my mind. It seemed to me that I had one choice: keep racing forward. See what's beyond those trees. See what I could do. I ran fast. The figure grew close. I ran faster. The figure grew closer. The singing grew more insistent, snatched whispers of words gathering around me like a coat. I clung to them. They were a familiar presence in a strange place."

I know you know how to write so I'm not going to lecture you here. I think my rewrite creates a tempo, a better understanding of the speed or necessity that the narrator is/was experiencing. In the original, I'm just wondering how this dude has all this time to think if he's being chased. I know when I'm scared shitless I don't think in long sentences.

This is something I definitely need calling out on. Pete points out my fight scenes are always too meandering, without enough short sharp sentences to create a tempo. And it's something I point out to other people when -I- review them. So I need to just make sure I'm doing it myself.

Ending like an accident-touched love, the tree tunnel vanished and I was running through a field, a tiny cottage sitting on the horizon. I hadn’t heard of the word ‘rustic’ yet, but the cottage fitted the term perfectly. It was made of honest, hard stone and natural, thick wood. Round like an Anglo-Saxon house, a chimney sat haphazardly on top, balancing like some neglectful god had dropped it from high above. There was a great oak door and I ran to it, yanking it open as the figure emerged from the tree tunnel behind me. Forgetting that this wasn’t my house, ignoring the strange black sky that shone like the sun and the gentle music that whispered as the wind, I slammed the door shut and pulled the great wooden lock into place.

And I know you know how to write cause you put this down and I'm in love with it. Its probably the clearest paragraph in the entire story, the best written. It has a singular focus, one entire point about it: The house. That's all its about. And you achieve here what you didn't earlier: a sense that this kid is scared. I feel for him up until that moment the lock falls into place and I can breathe again.

Thanks!

And then I'm done caring. Because the rest of the story kind of meanders about his time in the house and then his return home and how everyone else seems to be living a life and its cute and all but ohmygod what his this character even thinking? I'm not getting it. Why did he stay with his mother? Did I miss something about the house? Probably, because there isn't any sense of wonder from the kid, there's nothing there about how he feels about the house outside of a few scattered sentences in disparate paragraphs.

So this I'm going to blame entirely on Zovo?

The house is meant to be very allegorical. And one thing I wanted to get at was that she saw her father as very "open" and her mother as very "closed", and that being open was good, and closed was bad. The title comes from a John Denver song of the same message.

In the house, it's the door that protects her. It refuses to open even when she wants it too. It keeps her safe. The windows let in the bad air and nearly lets her clamber out to the man beyond. Even though she thought the open windows were good, it nearly caused her pain. The experience in the house, at a subconscious level, makes her realise that while she loves her Dad, its her Mum that keeps her safe. And I hint, it's only at a very base level of understanding by making passing mention to the fact that even she didn't know why she chose her mother at the time.

I tried to be very subtle about this because I worry I'm too on-the-nose. I think the only links I allowed myself was: a brief conversation with her father about her mother not being open to new things, and that when she huddles by the door, her skin is scratched by the duvet, and that is later called back with the mother's cardigan.

But out of five or six people, I think Sensar was the only one to actually pick that up. Neither Pete or yourself did. And at that ratio, that's not the reader's fault, that's my fault.

So I'm going to work on making that clearer while still not trying to paint a big sign.

No, he has a voice. Its just not a particularly strong one. I can guess the "why" of it all, but I find it difficult to point to any one sentence why the character is doing anything. I know you have a particular style and voice, its kinda dry, kinda witty, a little touch of a historian in you, and this entire story feels like a departure. Maybe I haven't read anything of yours in some time, but this doesn't sound like the James I know.

This is definitely something very far away from the traditional "James voice". This was why I'm so unsure of the story. It's well away from my comfort zone and I was left unable to judge the finished product.

Y'all haven't exactly helped. Some people loved it, some people say it needs a lot of work. But what you all have done, at least, is make me thing and hopefully will make the piece stronger. And that's great and why I love AWR so much.

Also, change up the tense when the narrator switches to recounting a memory and talking about current experiences. Every once in a while he interjects an opinion that comes from the "now", and it would probably be better served if it was in present-tense. Like when he's describing how he feels about empty cottages at different ages.

I think that's definitely a good way to go.

The ending also doesn't make much sense.

And I had to read it again to make sure I got it. Cause I was gonna ask, who the fuck is Eddie?

The first and last paragraph need to be in present tense so that it separates it from the memory. Otherwise I'm lost and have to reread it over and over. I am so very, very, very guilty of doing the same thing. And it didn't work for me. And it doesn't work for you. Even now I'm kind of hesitant to put this down because I'm not sure if that was your actual intent to have the first and last paragraph be separate from the story. If it wasn't then I feel foolish but it also stands that the writing isn't clear enough to make the distinction and I'm still left wondering who the fuck Eddie is.

Yeah, the one universal complaint from everyone on this story is that everyone forgets Eddie. I need to make the start more vivid and more memorable, and link it backs better to the end. Present tense will definitely help with that, I think.

And is the narrator a boy or girl? If it doesn't matter that's cool. I just feel silly about saying "he" when it might be "she".

I was intentionally fluid on it. -Everyone- has decided she's male. I wrote her as a girl just to provide some distance between the narrator and myself.

I kind of love the fact that it's not entirely clear.

Overall, my takeaway is that the person slams the door in someone's face and it reminds him of his experiences with his parents. It reminds him of the time his father left, and how he sought to look for him. Instead, he ends up in this magical adventure. It changes him, somehow. I'm not super clear what happens in that part. And then he returns home. And now he doesn't like his father and wants to be with his mother. Why? I don't really know. And now we're back in present tense and the narrator has slammed the door in Eddie's face.

Ok. Is that the story? I'm really not trying to be an ass here. I'm really really not and I"m sorry if it comes off that way because you're a much better reviewer than I am.

That is pretty much the story. And dude, don't apologise because this was super helpful. I feel like it was way more helpful than my review to you now. I feel bad!

I think with a stronger linkage between the start-finish, and making it clearer what the house is all about at an allegorical level, will hopefully tighten the story up.

Hopefully.

It needs more focus from paragraph to paragraph.

I think this is a useful point. I don't tend to write in paragraphs. I write in scenes, which means I think my paragraphs can end up getting confusing because writer-me is going "this is explained later", while the reader is lost.

I want to feel the narrator more, I want to feel them out and get an understanding of their emotions. Right now, I feel like I've had a story dispassionately recited to me. And even in the end, I don't really know how the narrator feels about slamming the door.

I want to keep a sense of detachment, but I'll definitely think about making the narrator a little more alive, a little easier to relate to for the reader.




Seriously, thanks, Sekot. This is super helpful. I really, really appreciate it.

[James]

Apr 5, 2015 20:45:01 GMT -5 Sekot said:

I feel like I might've been a little over the top, cause it wasn't that I didn't like it. It just needed some work. I hope I didn't come off as a super jerk or misunderstand where you were going with the piece.

Oh no, it's fine. I've just filed you into the Taed Box as a reviewer: even if they like it, you're going to get taken apart but in a really, really good way.

Maybe someone else could provide more clarity/perspective.

I am really interested in the vast variety of feedback I've got. As I said above, it's a good thing, because it's making me really think. And where there is unanimous thinking, I know I've truly fucked up at that point (damn you, Eddie). But yeah, some people are like "this seems too clear", others "I don't understand" and I'm just sitting here going, "hmm."

But I sort of expected this. It was a huge departure from my normal type of story. I'm just glad it wasn't shit, to be honest.

[Sekot]

Now that you say it, I can see how the detachment is purposeful. I just don't know if it really worked for me. If the narrator is so detached, then why should I be invested? And I totally applaud you on going out of your comfort zone to write in a different voice. It was the first thing I noticed and the first thing I liked. Like I said, it just needs some work to make it effective and your rewrite will only head in that direction.

[James]

Apr 5, 2015 21:07:11 GMT -5 Sekot said:

Now that you say it, I can see how the detachment is purposeful. I just don't know if it really worked for me. If the narrator is so detached, then why should I be invested? And I totally applaud you on going out of your comfort zone to write in a different voice. It was the first thing I noticed and the first thing I liked. Like I said, it just needs some work to make it effective and your rewrite will only head in that direction.

I think if I take the detachment too far then there's no point for the reader to get invested, yes. So I think I just have to find the balance.

As an added question, now that the allegory stuff in the house has been explained, do you think the ending at least has the -potential- to make sense? Or even now, do you still find it confusing?

[Sekot]

Apr 5, 2015 21:09:43 GMT -5 James said:

Apr 5, 2015 21:07:11 GMT -5 Sekot said:

Now that you say it, I can see how the detachment is purposeful. I just don't know if it really worked for me. If the narrator is so detached, then why should I be invested? And I totally applaud you on going out of your comfort zone to write in a different voice. It was the first thing I noticed and the first thing I liked. Like I said, it just needs some work to make it effective and your rewrite will only head in that direction.

I think if I take the detachment too far then there's no point for the reader to get invested, yes. So I think I just have to find the balance.

As an added question, now that the allegory stuff in the house has been explained, do you think the ending at least has the -potential- to make sense? Or even now, do you still find it confusing?

It has potential.

My main issue is just in how the story is kind of written, so I didn't really dwell on the meaning of the house. Again because that's probably the one point in the entire story where you want the reader to be attached. Its fine if you have the description of the parents be cold and aloof, but the contrast is necessary to make the point hit home: there's a reason the narrator's detached about their parents but not about this cottage. You do a good job right at the start with the narrator commenting present tense about how they feel about empty cottages. But I start to lose interest after a while.

You're also going to have to make me care about Eddie, otherwise I'm not entirely sure why he's in the story at all. It works well enough without him, the story loses nothing. Arguably it gains in that its a little less confusing.

[James]

This is the most excited I've been to tackle a rewrite.

In the last couple of months, I've reached a nice mindset that my first draft doesn't have to be perfect. It's very liberating. If there's one downside to the AWR competitions (and it's outweighed by all the positives), it's that there simply isn't enough time to allow someone to do much more than a first draft/quick edit.

[James]

AWR has its newest competition:

awritersrecluse.proboards.com/thread/4766/awr-ryder-cup

I really recommend to people to go and sign-up. It has massive potential due to the following reasons:

- You don't need to invest a huge amount of time into this. You only write in 3 rounds (as opposed to the 5+ rounds of recent AWR competitions). They'll be rest weeks.
- It's a team competition so they'll be a nice social element to this.
- Most importantly, this competition has the potential to be the most -useful- competition for writers yet. If it works, there's going to be a huge amount of feedback heading each writers' way. Your teammates will be encouraging you and are there to offer feedback if you wish. Your Captain will be acting as your own mini-Judge, offering feedback and advice before posting. And then you get a Canadian and a Brit acting high and mighty as Judges at the end of the process. Ever felt like you wanted more reviews? If this goes to plan, you'll be swamped in feedback.

While the competition can work with 8 writers, we think it'll be even better if we can get to two teams of five. That means we need 10 writers, and none of them can be the Admins. So we're going to need one of our largest turnouts in years. I think AWR can do it. So sign up!

[ASGetty ((Zovo))]

Also, I'm a coach!
So, crotchety old man pep-talks all around for my team!

[James]

Apr 7, 2015 18:13:05 GMT -5 ASGetty ((Zovo)) said:

Also, I'm a coach!
So, crotchety old man pep-talks all around for my team!

He's such an old man he refuses to recognise that his title is captain, not coach.

Why captain? Because, you know, golf reference? We all know golf, right?