The Ides of March Challenge! (Discussion)

[Sekot]

I keep getting marked down for use of topic and I don't quite get why. I feel that if I used the topic in the way it was intended, it would just be derivative and useless.

I'm also wondering if you actually read what I wrote. There's a reason why she's there, the explanation happens in flashback scenes. She's a daughter of Chaos, but not his literal daughter, so I don't quite get why you're confused about rebellion unless you think everyone should be subservient to their fathers without question. Even then that's a poor interpretation, in my opinion, of the relationship between the god and the woman.

Edit: I just want to note that my hostility isn't so much personal as it is over sheer frustration why what I'm writing doesn't seem to be translating to anyone.

[Jackal]

Mar 3, 2013 0:30:23 GMT -5 Injin said:

Round Two scores up. Hope you guys think I was fair.

Well, on my side, yeah. I was actually thinking the same thing with regards to it sounding awkward at points, but overall I'm pretty happy with it. Thanks again for stepping up to the plate, by the way.

[Injin]

Mar 3, 2013 7:13:01 GMT -5 Sekot said:

I keep getting marked down for use of topic and I don't quite get why. I feel that if I used the topic in the way it was intended, it would just be derivative and useless.

I'm also wondering if you actually read what I wrote. There's a reason why she's there, the explanation happens in flashback scenes. She's a daughter of Chaos, but not his literal daughter, so I don't quite get why you're confused about rebellion unless you think everyone should be subservient to their fathers without question. Even then that's a poor interpretation, in my opinion, of the relationship between the god and the woman.

Edit: I just want to note that my hostility isn't so much personal as it is over sheer frustration why what I'm writing doesn't seem to be translating to anyone.

When I looked back I couldn't tell when exactly the flashbacks started. I reread it five times and didn't see a smooth transition that made it obvious. Believe me, it was a good piece of work, as I said, but perhaps I scored it lower than I should have. I relook at it right now and see if I missed anything in my review.

[Injin]

Okay, I've put an addendum and I've struck out part of my review, literally. My apologies, Sekot.

[Sekot]

First: I'm not really looking for a better score. The score is pretty irrelevant. I'm not looking to beat Jackal or anyone, but like with Kaez I just want to know where the disconnect is. The effort is appreciated.

Second: I understand that my stories are a bit meandering. There isn't a clear cut narrative because there isn't supposed to be. I don't want to write and I try not to write traditionally laid out stories. Its just not interesting and it doesn't allow me to explore the themes and questions that I want to explore.

For instance, here is the "flashback"

“All that you have sown you will not be able to reap, and that is a tragedy. However, you are here now and that is all that matters. Children of gods should not walk amongst the mortals, after all.”

He was there in his bed, wrapped amongst the sheets. His body was covered in sweat, beads of it rolled down his chest and soaked the mattress. He twisted and turned, screaming incomprehensibly. She struggled to grab his hand, to hold it tight but he would only wrench it away. He cursed her name, spoke profanities and sang a hymn of damnation. It was as much his requiem as hers.

“You will only bring harm to those you thought you loved. But, I assure you, you know nothing of true love. I will show you, my child, all that you need.”

Buried in a black coffin in black earth under a black sky. Dressed in black and holding black scriptures. She watched from afar, her red dress fluttering in the wind that stole their words and hid them from her. So be it, she would say her own silent prayer. The words came freely, from someplace within her that she could not recognize.

“Come, rise, and show me your face, Daughter of Chaos.”

The coffin moved. It shook and rocked in its place. It cracked open and a skeletal hand protruded from within it. The lid slowly felt to the side, just enough so that a bare head could rise out. They screamed and held one another. She smiled. She felt the bitter taste of spite fill her mouth and she spat it out. He rose up to his full height, shambled out and stood upon solid earth.

That's not really a flashback because it isn't marked as such. That's the point. Its a scene that it is pretty much happening concurrently with the "main" scene of god and woman. Maybe I should have made the distinction clearer, but I thought it was pretty damn clear that the "he" referenced in the bed is different then the bodiless "he" that is speaking over this secondary scene.

I feel that I pretty much flatly tell you why she's there, or at least who she is avenging. Names are pretty unimportant, or rather that names are so important that the only instance of a name I give is not an actual name. "Daughter of Chaos". It is the only name given and its not really even a name she prescribes to. Now I leave that why open enough, I thought, to give the reader the moment to decide for themselves why something is happening, why she's there. Its really open ended because it doesn't entirely matter to the experience of the scene itself.

I felt that there was quite a bit more hand holding in this piece then the last piece I submitted to the final challenge last month. There was less or at least it was far less clear than the first piece I submitted for this challenge but I thought it was still accessible enough. I just guess I was wrong.

I'm not really interested in writing things that are easy to understand. Were you not entertained when reading it? Was it poorly written? I try to write sort-of-existential to deconstructionist themes, did I succeed or fail? Did you feel that it brought up questions or no? What do you think happened? Why do you think it happened?

My intent is one thing. Your interpretation is another. What I'm not seeing is any effort in interpreting anything which is extremely frustrating because I don't know if its because you don't think its necessary or if its because there just isn't any substance.

These are all rhetorical questions and I'm not looking for you to answer each one. If I'm going to continue to get "I was confused so I'm going to mark you arbitrarily for it" then I'll just stop posting in the challenges. That doesn't help me as a writer.

[Sekot]

I think I'm getting a little overexcited and a bit overly harsh. I'm all about engaging with the criticism offered and I can take it. But there has to be actual criticism for me to engage with.

[Injin]

Well I could be defensive here, but that wouldn't help anyone.

It's obvious that despite how I read the piece, I couldn't judge it accurately. I've trained myself to read fast over the years and I miss key details as a result. Next time I judge I shall try a lot better. I know that you think I was trying to win you over by adding points, but you brought up valid criticisms of me, so I changed it.

To be honest, it's my fault. You had a great piece but for some reason I just reread the same lines and it wasn't registering.

She's there to kill this God of Order, that much was clear to me. He keeps calling her daughter of Chaos, and I understood that as well. However, due to my ineptitude in this, I misread several parts of the story, making it jumbled in my eyes when it was perhaps a bit muddled, but not to the degree I claimed in the review.

I apologize to you from the bottom of my heart. If anyone else thinks I shouldn't be a judge for this, I will drop from the position.

I took it up because I thought I could analyze, but it's becoming increasingly obvious that I'm not good at the finer details of the story.

[Injin]

Mar 3, 2013 19:37:08 GMT -5 Sekot said:

I think I'm getting a little overexcited and a bit overly harsh. I'm all about engaging with the criticism offered and I can take it. But there has to be actual criticism for me to engage with.

Overly harsh? No, you are spot on. I promise to take an hour with each review before I publish it in the future, so I can actually critique properly. Or at the very least give you something that doesn't sound vague.

[Sekot]

Oh stop it no one is saying you shouldn't be a judge. The problem with my piece is that you, at least in my opinion, absolutely cannot read it quickly. If you do, the words blend together because the lack of usual punctuation marks are not there. This isn't really on purpose, I don't intend to fuck up the reader by forcing them to read it slowly. Its just a byproduct of what happens. I can't read my own work quickly. I reread it and reread it and I still find things that surprise me.

I don't want you as a judge or as a critiquer to just read my work, I want you to -read- it.

[Sekot]

Mar 3, 2013 19:54:45 GMT -5 Injin said:

Mar 3, 2013 19:37:08 GMT -5 Sekot said:

I think I'm getting a little overexcited and a bit overly harsh. I'm all about engaging with the criticism offered and I can take it. But there has to be actual criticism for me to engage with.

Overly harsh? No, you are spot on. I promise to take an hour with each review before I publish it in the future, so I can actually critique properly. Or at the very least give you something that doesn't sound vague.

Don't take an hour. That's arbitrary. Take as much time as you feel appropriate. I felt this last entry was a good one. I've written others for other entries that I don't feel are as good and certainly wouldn't require an hour of review (Thirst/Terminal). I mean, if you don't understand it you don't understand it. But at that point I'd rather take no grade then a grade and questions as to what you didn't get. Because yeah, there isn't a narrative to a lot of my entries. There aren't a whole lot of stories in a lot of my entries and if you spend all your time looking for one you'll just waste a lot of time.

[Injin]

Mar 3, 2013 20:02:48 GMT -5 Sekot said:

Mar 3, 2013 19:54:45 GMT -5 Injin said:

Overly harsh? No, you are spot on. I promise to take an hour with each review before I publish it in the future, so I can actually critique properly. Or at the very least give you something that doesn't sound vague.

Don't take an hour. That's arbitrary. Take as much time as you feel appropriate. I felt this last entry was a good one. I've written others for other entries that I don't feel are as good and certainly wouldn't require an hour of review (Thirst/Terminal). I mean, if you don't understand it you don't understand it. But at that point I'd rather take no grade then a grade and questions as to what you didn't get. Because yeah, there isn't a narrative to a lot of my entries. There aren't a whole lot of stories in a lot of my entries and if you spend all your time looking for one you'll just waste a lot of time.

I'm overcompensating, sorry. This entry WAS a good one, believe me when I say that. No more excuses at this point, I'll do better next time. If I fail at my duty again, I'll just drop out of judging.

[JMDavis ((Silver))]

Injin, as a small warning, there are going to be musical terms in this that some might not be familiar with. Just going to put this here so you can look at any of the terms you don't know.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossary_of_musical_terminology

[Injin]

Alright. Thank you.

[Kaez]

Perhaps back-to-back Challenges was not the hottest idea? March appears to be a busy month for AWR folks.

[Injin]

Mar 7, 2013 8:44:22 GMT -5 Kaez said:

Perhaps back-to-back Challenges was not the hottest idea? March appears to be a busy month for AWR folks.

Perhaps. I could put a temporary one week pause between this current challenge and the next one, so people get more time, I guess.