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Post by The Counter Cultist(Sawyer) on Feb 2, 2013 22:59:07 GMT -5
*logs in, checks the challenge*
....ohhhhhh, I am going to have some fun with this.
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Post by Kaez on Feb 2, 2013 23:01:35 GMT -5
Dagnabit, Sekot! Level. Just like that. Oh god, this is going to be drawn-out and painful. Also: "And you did include lines like "or both" which are pretty strictly genuine nonsense." Nuh-uh. That was a tribute to my all time favourite line of "he was either mad or both." Mad, having two meanings, therefore he was possibly both of them. Mine was that the man's accent was so thick, he could have been saying he was benevolent, malevolent or, quite possibly, both. The nonsense was how could someone be benevolent and malevolent at the same time. ... but that's really my only critique of your critique, which means I don't have any. I think this round more than other you could have missed a lot of things. I'm impressed, Pete. Traditional nonsense is not -devoid of all meaning-. That's -gibberish-. The "or both" line is traditional nonsense. I got the The Letter reference, rest assured. Soon as I read that line, I pictured Stephen double-taking. D'aw. Thankies Kaez. I appreciate it even if I am frustrated and thoroughly pissed off. I was so careful about the tense. I even read it out loud. I thought the story was pretty good for nonsense too. Feeling a bit ... meh now. Literary nonsense has a pretty particular meaning. I think James might do a better job of explaining it than I would. |
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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Feb 2, 2013 23:01:54 GMT -5
Hrrrm. I was going to write in the next round but I dun wanna write WoW.
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Post by Kaez on Feb 2, 2013 23:02:20 GMT -5
Hrrrm. I was going to write in the next round but I dun wanna write WoW. You're boring. |
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Feb 2, 2013 23:03:10 GMT -5
Just depressing. I've been trying -hard- and still failing.
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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Feb 2, 2013 23:04:08 GMT -5
Hrrrm. I was going to write in the next round but I dun wanna write WoW. You're boring. I'm going to write about an AI that lives in the Blizzard mainframe. Every time you kill Hogger, he just gets angrier. |
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Post by Kaez on Feb 2, 2013 23:06:46 GMT -5
Just depressing. I've been trying -hard- and still failing. I think you're trying in the wrong ways. The best thing you can do is still to craft every single sentence as a little microcosm in and of itself. Choose every word with a purpose. Picture the story in your head as you write and paint the picture with your words. Don't ever -inform- the reader of what's happening. -Describe- it to them. If you're using the word of an emotion (e.g. "he was furious"; "she was ecstatic") then ur doin it rong. |
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Feb 2, 2013 23:08:58 GMT -5
I should be good at each word though! That's what happens with Flash. Depressing. Keep losing and it's getting me down.
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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Feb 2, 2013 23:16:09 GMT -5
You're actually still in 3rd place overall, Ref. It may not be where you want to be, but it's still damn good. You've gotta use your ambition for the gold to push yourself even harder, while still remembering that you already have the bronze to keep from getting discouraged.
Or, you know, murder Agro and Sekot.
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Feb 2, 2013 23:20:15 GMT -5
Or, you know, murder Agro and Sekot. I couldn't murder a fly but right now murder is appealing to me. |
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Post by Sekot on Feb 2, 2013 23:21:17 GMT -5
Dagnabit, Sekot! Level. Just like that. Oh god, this is going to be drawn-out and painful. Love yoouuuuu....  As for this next round, wow. Woww. I don't. I mean. I can. Should I? I feel like the emotional depth portion of this will be rather easy. I can use Sekot, he's probably the most developed -thing- I've ever written, but is that a crutch? Because scenery building is what I am undeniably absolutely awful at. Unbelievably terrible. I have to edit and edit and get outside opinions on it because I just do not write the background. I can deliver characters that I think glow but the scenery just fades away and its two characters in a vacuum. This is going to be a really interesting round. Also, concerning the critique: Yes, almost all (I'm not perfect) of the grammar I use to construct my sentences is intentional. Its all about the flow of a sentence and I use commas to break up that flow. I feel that the lack of a comma speeds up the sentence and blends adjectives so that when I repeat them its not as noticeable and it paints an interesting picture. But that's just my style and it breaks all the rules. Edit: And I would say that if I hadn't won this round I'd be absolutely pissed. I tried to stretch myself by going humorous but then I realized I write "nonsense" all the time. Not really nonsense. It all makes sense to me. But its sense hidden behind nonsense wrapped within nonsense to speak of sense within itself. Double Edit: Also, this review is near and dear to my heart because I really loved this piece and all the intricacies I unintentionally blended into it that I only saw after several rereads. |
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Post by The Counter Cultist(Sawyer) on Feb 2, 2013 23:27:43 GMT -5
So hey, kaez. I know the restriction is vanilla WoW.
But would it be acceptable for me to use ruined Silvermoon as a sight, before they joined the Horde?
If not I can always come up with something else, I just got an urge to use Lea as a rogue.
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Post by Kaez on Feb 2, 2013 23:35:56 GMT -5
So hey, kaez. I know the restriction is vanilla WoW. But would it be acceptable for me to use ruined Silvermoon as a sight, before they joined the Horde? If not I can always come up with something else, I just got an urge to use Lea as a rogue. Sure, yeah. I just want it to take place on the original two continents, pre-Cata. |
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Post by James on Feb 3, 2013 0:05:58 GMT -5
Traditional nonsense is not -devoid of all meaning-. That's -gibberish-. The "or both" line is traditional nonsense. I got the The Letter reference, rest assured. Soon as I read that line, I pictured Stephen double-taking. Oh, I've got ya. I misunderstood what you meant in your review. |
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Post by James on Feb 3, 2013 0:06:28 GMT -5
Also, I'm kind of with Taed. I don't really want to write in Azeroth anymore...
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