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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Feb 1, 2010 16:53:05 GMT -5
I'm really pleased with the little world I came up with for this entry but I think the actual story kind of fell down. I'm really excited to hear what the other judges have to say about it. If my career as a novelist ever does kick off I think I'd actually really like to return to this setting. I just think it's really interesting. The Eugenics War puts an end to racism and rampant nationalism but also sort of kills off everyone's scientific drive. I think it's fairly unique. As I noted in my scoring, it really did seem like you had a solid source for your epilogue. As if you had already written the story, or at least were very aware of what you were writing. I got the impression of a rich world with a cast of characters you were already familar with. Yeah, whenever I write something in anything other than the "real" world (which is often) I really like to get to know the details of the place so that I can use that sort of sixth sense about whether something feels -right- for the setting. Even stuff that doesn't actually get included in the story. Unfortunately, for this one I think I spent a bit too much time brainstorming and then I was rushed when I went to write it. Also, I was originally going to call the augmented humans "Eugenes" (for eugenics) but when i sat down to write I thought it was too goofy. Do you guys think I made the right call? |
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Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Feb 1, 2010 16:57:13 GMT -5
If it weren't for the fact that "Eugene" is a proper noun typically associated with kinda nerdy folks, I'd have said go for it. But not having the story context for it, I think it would have lost some of it's flavor.
However, -some- manner of slang terminology refering to the "Eugenes" would be most appropriate.
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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Feb 1, 2010 16:58:05 GMT -5
Agreed with what Zovo said. It is obvious that you had a better idea of what happened before yours ... mine- not so much. I did like yours :] You also showed better vocabulary range (Damn you  ) I just suck when it comes to Sci-Fi/end of the World stuff. It's just not very inspirational to me. I did have an idea of what happened before the Epilogue, but not enough to make it a good piece. (Trust me ... it flopped. Third re-write and it is ... bleh. Not the kind of thing you should expect for a semi-final.) (ps. This is not that humility thing. The topic sucked for me, and I gave up before I started - probably.) If I can offer a bit of advice about the sci-fi thing (because it's one of my strengths and you've expressed worries about the genre before) a lot of people tend to think that, because it's science fiction, that the most important thing in fleshing out the world is the tech and things like that. I find that sci-fi is actually really broad as a genre and, if you want a richer world for the story to exist in, you should worry more about the aesthetic that you're seeing in your mind. It may not all come out on paper but if -you- know what things in this world/culture/city should look like then it really strengthens the piece as a whole. Just a thought. |
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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Feb 1, 2010 16:59:12 GMT -5
If it weren't for the fact that "Eugene" is a proper noun typically associated with kinda nerdy folks, I'd have said go for it. But not having the story context for it, I think it would have lost some of it's flavor. However, -some- manner of slang terminology refering to the "Eugenes" would be most appropriate. Yeah, that's the thing. I didn't throw "Eugenes" out until I had already started and then I couldn't think of anything else to call them. |
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Feb 1, 2010 17:25:05 GMT -5
Thankies for the advice :] Always willing to learn.
One day I'll write a good Sci-Fi (I do have one mini-idea I've been letting stew in my mind.)
I shouldn't have any problems with Sci-Fi (because Fantasy is my strong point, and making new Worlds) but I do. It probably is the "science" bit that I worry about. The computers, terminology, realistic feeling - thing.
Still - I tried :] and bloody hard too. Didn't want to let you kick my butt. Knew this would be a topic you would enjoy and find way easier than me.
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Post by James on Feb 1, 2010 17:45:26 GMT -5
*puts on judging hat*
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Post by Matteo ((Taed)) on Feb 1, 2010 18:44:05 GMT -5
Whoa. Blood and Meleta are tied with one judge to go! This is intense.
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Post by ASGetty ((Zovo)) on Feb 1, 2010 18:49:39 GMT -5
Looking back, I'm little surprised by how much my scores are weighed on conformity to topic. . .
Didn't realize it so much when I scored stuff, but, yeah.
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Post by Bloodeye the Bai Ze on Feb 1, 2010 19:01:55 GMT -5
Awesome! Mel and I are dead tied!
...
Though after reading the comments from Zovo and Agro, I realized that I made a horrible mistake.
See, when I read "prologue"... I assumed it meant that the story "required" a prologue, not that it was a prologue.
That first bit that was sectioned off was what I was considering a prologue.
That's why I revealed so much in the story, which was the biggest flaw you guys were finding.
...
*sigh*
My mistake. I'm actually glad I left things as open as I did so it fit what you were looking for.
I just hope I get badass points for having a character that curb-stomped a cyborg.
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Post by Meleta/Isoldaa on Feb 1, 2010 19:14:12 GMT -5
o.O...
*whoa*
*high fives Bloodeye* This is amazing![/b] XD No matter the outcome, I can't imagine a more awesome competition!
As far as the perspective goes? I've never written a thing in first person in my life, that I an recall. Nada. XD And so I may have been overreaching when I decided to not only give a go at unfolding the plot through first person dialogue alone, but to try to involve the reader as well, giving the option of putting him/her into the role of the "interrogator" in the cell with the narrator.
The topic of "Utopia?" Oh, that was a tough one. I honestly don't believe man can create such a place/society - at least, not as he is now. Thankfully, the "Prologue" portion of the assignment gave me the chance to at least start this off in a dystopia. I don't know if I will continue with this or not after the competition, though it is a tempting to at least give it a try. The inspiration came, in large part, from the stories of Saul of Tarsus and several other martyrs.
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Post by Bloodeye the Bai Ze on Feb 1, 2010 19:31:53 GMT -5
o.O... *whoa* *high fives Bloodeye* This is amazing![/b] XD No matter the outcome, I can't imagine a more awesome competition! As far as the perspective goes? I've never written a thing in first person in my life, that I an recall. Nada. XD And so I may have been overreaching when I decided to not only give a go at unfolding the plot through first person dialogue alone, but to try to involve the reader as well, giving the option of putting him/her into the role of the "interrogator" in the cell with the narrator. The topic of "Utopia?" Oh, that was a tough one. I honestly don't believe man can create such a place/society - at least, not as he is now. Thankfully, the "Prologue" portion of the assignment gave me the chance to at least start this off in a dystopia. I don't know if I will continue with this or not after the competition, though it is a tempting to at least give it a try. The inspiration came, in large part, from the stories of Saul of Tarsus and several other martyrs.[/quote] I've actually pondered what a utopia society would be. It's all really perspective though. One man's utopia could be another's dystopia. Let's take my example. It's a place that has peace, stability, no disease and life with slowed aging. But, it's at the cost of your emotions, your body and perhaps your soul. Now, my main character, on the other hand, is no hero. I borrowed him from both Nietsche and Safranski, as they both wondered what the perfect human being would be. Nietsche said it would be someone who ascended past his own nihilism and embraced the world around him, making him capable of following his own morals and laws as a representative of all aspects of mankind, good and evil. Safranski said it would be a person of biological perfection and a Machiavellian mind. I honed both into the character, making him quite possibly the most terrible and terrific picture of humanity. And he sees the utopian world I made as a joke. People had descended into a state completely opposite of what he is and the most entertaining notion is that in order to breed themselves capable of their cybernetic uplinks, they cloned him millions of times over to be used as genetic "stallions". They were clones, so they didn't have his mind, making them easy to control. There again I explored the concept of genetic memories and whether a clone or a descendant still retains the memories of the predecessor within their DNA. ... Still... I don't think explaining that is gonna turn the outcome of this. But... I'm not gonna let these fireworks go to waste. *wheels in a cart full of fireworks* If I win, I'll set them off... if I lose, I shoot them at Sepheron's house. Either way, I win. |
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Post by Meleta/Isoldaa on Feb 1, 2010 19:50:09 GMT -5
I've actually pondered what a utopia society would be. It's all really perspective though. One man's utopia could be another's dystopia. ... Still... I don't think explaining that is gonna turn the outcome of this. But... I'm not gonna let these fireworks go to waste. *wheels in a cart full of fireworks* If I win, I'll set them off... if I lose, I shoot them at Sepheron's house. Either way, I win. *hands Bloodeye a couple nice sparklers and a bottle rocket or two* ;D This has been great, no matter how it turns out. But... can we leave poor Seph's house out of harm's way? >< hehe |
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Post by Kaez on Feb 1, 2010 20:25:47 GMT -5
Alright, one round down and... the next one is tied?!?!!? Oh boy oh boy oh boy... I feel important!
...
...
... and very afraid.
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Post by Bloodeye the Bai Ze on Feb 1, 2010 20:25:54 GMT -5
I've actually pondered what a utopia society would be. It's all really perspective though. One man's utopia could be another's dystopia. ... Still... I don't think explaining that is gonna turn the outcome of this. But... I'm not gonna let these fireworks go to waste. *wheels in a cart full of fireworks* If I win, I'll set them off... if I lose, I shoot them at Sepheron's house. Either way, I win. *hands Bloodeye a couple nice sparklers and a bottle rocket or two* ;D This has been great, no matter how it turns out. But... can we leave poor Seph's house out of harm's way? >< hehe ... Where's the fun in that? |
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Post by Kaez on Feb 1, 2010 20:44:03 GMT -5
Putting up one score at a time... for teh suspense!!!!
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