Post by James on Jan 11, 2010 5:07:56 GMT -5
Taed
Spelling & Grammar - 4/5
Ease of Read - 5/5
Use of Topic - 8/10
Entertainment - 14/15
Quality - 14/15
TOTAL - 45/50
For the first time today, I read the other judges' comments before reading the story. I was slightly concerned that sci-fi popped up, but bravo, mate.
Great story. Not much for me to say, the flow and pacing was excellent. It's getting late here now and yet I was drawn in completely.
My one general complaint (and generally Pete's foremost praise) about your writing is the poetry feel to it, I always think you go a tad over the top. You tip the balance a little when describing things. Not this time. That was perfect. I could see the scenes you were creating clearly without being bombarded with heavy language.
My one possible criticism? What Pete said. At the end it felt a little rush, with the whole aligning the machine perfectly and the boat sinking etc.
Fantastic stuff, Taed.
Orom
Spelling & Grammar - 5/5
Ease of Read - 4/5
Use of Topic - 7/10
Entertainment - 9/15
Quality - 10/15
Total: 35/50
I think my initial reaction sums up this piece.
"Yeah, so?"
Spelling and grammar was good, it was nice and easy to read. But there wasn't really anything to it. Zovo and Pete have both got to the root of the problem. We don't know why they're fighting. We don't care why. We don't know who these characters are. I think if you went into more detailed and described the battle better there would have a very well-rounded story in front of me.
Spelling & Grammar - 4/5
Ease of Read - 5/5
Use of Topic - 8/10
Entertainment - 14/15
Quality - 14/15
TOTAL - 45/50
For the first time today, I read the other judges' comments before reading the story. I was slightly concerned that sci-fi popped up, but bravo, mate.
Great story. Not much for me to say, the flow and pacing was excellent. It's getting late here now and yet I was drawn in completely.
My one general complaint (and generally Pete's foremost praise) about your writing is the poetry feel to it, I always think you go a tad over the top. You tip the balance a little when describing things. Not this time. That was perfect. I could see the scenes you were creating clearly without being bombarded with heavy language.
My one possible criticism? What Pete said. At the end it felt a little rush, with the whole aligning the machine perfectly and the boat sinking etc.
Fantastic stuff, Taed.
Orom
Spelling & Grammar - 5/5
Ease of Read - 4/5
Use of Topic - 7/10
Entertainment - 9/15
Quality - 10/15
Total: 35/50
I think my initial reaction sums up this piece.
"Yeah, so?"
Spelling and grammar was good, it was nice and easy to read. But there wasn't really anything to it. Zovo and Pete have both got to the root of the problem. We don't know why they're fighting. We don't care why. We don't know who these characters are. I think if you went into more detailed and described the battle better there would have a very well-rounded story in front of me.
