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Post by ARSmith ((Wolfeh)) on Aug 27, 2010 7:11:14 GMT -5
.: Imagination :. Sit with me, would you? And a story I will tell. Close your eyes and listen, For this tale is an... Ambiguous tale.
It was when the pastures were green, A time when pigs flew. There was a time when we made forts, A time with just me and you.
If you listened real close, You'd hear the magnolia's sing. And if you listened even closer, You'd hear the bee's symphony.
Time would fly so swiftly, So fast we'd see the dawn. We'd close our minds from imagination, And lie down in the lawn.
The breeze would give us soft kisses, Licking merrily at our messy hair. As the clouds lolled across the sky, We'd bask in the dying sun's orange glare.
We'd sit there for ages, Just laying and watching the sky. When our parents came a-calling, We'd leave the sun to die.
When the night fell across the lively fields, When all the life was laid to rest, We'd watch the moon rise with our parents, And yawn with our deepest content.
That was the time when pastures were green, The time when pigs flew. That was the time we made forts, A time with just me and you.
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Post by ARSmith ((Wolfeh)) on Aug 29, 2010 18:45:57 GMT -5
[[ Ya'll are welcome to review! :] ]]
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Radin
Scribe
The Beacon of Light
Posts: 685
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Post by Radin on Aug 31, 2010 21:32:01 GMT -5
I'm not too great of a critic, and sorta a poet on the side. But this flowed very well and really captured the image of the setting. As far as theme goes, I guess I can relate as can alot of people. Dwelling on good old thoughts of the past when things were going right, (At least that's what I got out of it.)
It gets a thumbs up from me. d(^.^)b I'd also give it my 'Paladin Approved' stamp...but I can't find that link. xD
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Post by ARSmith ((Wolfeh)) on Sept 1, 2010 20:14:09 GMT -5
Haha, aw! Thank you! :]
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Radin
Scribe
The Beacon of Light
Posts: 685
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Post by Radin on Sept 1, 2010 21:06:43 GMT -5
Have you done anymore poems at all?
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Post by ARSmith ((Wolfeh)) on Sept 1, 2010 21:09:40 GMT -5
Have you done anymore poems at all? Yep. Find "Someone Who Cares" and "Escape". The only two I got good reviews on - the ones that are worth reading. Around page 4, 5.
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Radin
Scribe
The Beacon of Light
Posts: 685
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Post by Radin on Sept 2, 2010 20:01:14 GMT -5
I liked Someone Who Cares, mainly because like this poem, it took me back and was very relatable. I could of fit in those shoes in the begining of highschool until something almost exactly like that happened...cept my bro didn't touch my face. xD Usually I like rhyme in poems too but I enjoied that one as well.
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