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Post by Kaez on Dec 21, 2009 20:29:37 GMT -5
8:20 - 8:29
“Wow, what a beautiful night, isn’t it?” The man stared up at the dark, winter sky, stars shining their faint light down on him.
“It’s perfect,” she spoke back to him. The two sat on the park bench, smiling at the night, ignoring the cars racing past them.
“There’s no better way to spend Christmas than here, with you, under the stars,” he said with a smile, turning to her.
She blushed and grinned, then grew still and her expression turned inquisitive.
He watched her curiously. “…what… what is it?”
“I… don’t know. Felt like an… earthquake, almost.”
The man stood and glanced around them at the still night, and then he felt it too. A deep rumbling in the earth. The cars, he noticed now, were absolutely flying – 60, 70 miles per hour. A woman screamed in the distance.
The man’s jaw dropped. A wave, a monstrous, milky plunge was racing towards them, destroying everything in its path. In an instant, he grabbed the woman’s hand and tugged at it. “Come on! Come on!”
She yelped at the sight and leaped up; the pair racing down the sidewalk alongside the fleeing cars, the wave growing ever larger, ever closer.
Woosh.
The yellowish liquid plowed down the street, clearing out everything in its path. The pair were consumed.
-----
“… Tim? Tim, what in the…”
The father stood, staring down at the boy with a bewildered expression. The child sat in front of his playset, miniature houses, cars and people bathing in eggnog and an empty glass at his side.
The father sighed.
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Post by o ding on Dec 21, 2009 20:41:32 GMT -5
The two longcoats stepped over the yellow tape and into the festive house, the younger man glancing at the finely decorated Christmas tree and the various presents wrapped under it. The kids were still outside, crying their hearts out - as though their holiday wasn't bad enough by way of what happened, their presents had been barred as evidence.
"Shame," the older man said, stepping into the place's dimly lit kitchen with an apathetic look on his face. "A damn shame."
The younger man turned to him, frowing. "Yeah. Did you see the kids? They get me, every damn time, they get me."
His elder didn't reply, staring down at the man and woman's bodies. They'd been chalked off and checked out already, declared dead at 12:11 that night.
The older man circled around the crime scene, careful not to step on anything with his dirtied work boots. "Take a closer look, William. At their stomachs."
The younger one glanced back, having been looking around in the cupboards. He looked down - and his eyebrow raised.
Two long slices, one in each of them, their swelled stomachs being held together by various buttons. Between the cracks where the buttons hadn't kept pressure, he could see clearly something yellowish-white sloshing back and forth.
"Again? God...damnit."
"That's right. Again," the older one sighed. "Sixth time, actually. Wonder what he does with the organs."
The younger one stepped over to get a closer look, his boot tripping against a thin wire as he walked.
Both of the corpses' stomachs popped open, button by button, sending a wave of the stuff to billow out from their recently vacated holes.
It splashed onto the both of them, the younger one stumbling back a bit as it did.
The older one licked his lips and chuckled.
"Eggnog. Merry Christmas, William."
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Post by WJChesek ((Evern)) on Dec 22, 2009 2:26:23 GMT -5
It was a veritable sea of Eggnog.
The goldish white liquid flowed from coast to coast, giant rolling waves scattering most of the wildlife in the area. To the south, snow fell, slowly drifting to dilute the nog with it's wintry goodness. To the north, the Present Islands, a forest of box shaped mountains, each one taller than the last.
And in the middle, where this story takes place, were the penguin herds. They drank the nog as they swam, filling their bellies with the delicious water before trying to find a nog-fish, and usually succeeding. These penguins were relatively happy, dodging the polar bear-fish, and the nog-whales on a daily basis. They flew beneath the seas, from place to place, striving to, not only survive, but to thrive.
All but one. Jimmy the Penguin had a tough life, he didn't like eggnog, and there wasn't much to do otherwise. Sure, he could head south, and drink the snowflakes, or north, and try to find water amidst the Present Isles, but that would take him into danger, away from the herd.
One day, he decided that enough was enough, he was tired of drinking eggnog, and so, he adjusted his bow-tie, and took off through the nog, flying south. He dodged all sorts of animals, nog-whales, and nog-sharks among them. He grinned, sensing his goal was near, until...
Until it wasn't. For it couldn't be.
He had run right into the mouth of the biggest nog-whale he had ever seen. He fought, and he struggled, and he couldn't escape. And so, he was swallowed, and the evolution for the penguins continued. |
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Dec 22, 2009 13:26:57 GMT -5
Agro:Excellent vocabulary range. Story was very good considering you have never had eggnog before. Nice plot, but a little sad. Carries the Christmas spirit very well to the reader. Judges said they spotted one mistake. Creativity of topic: 8/10 Amount of words: 5/5 Grammar, spelling and punctuation: 4/5 Kaez:Judges commented that it felt a little short. You got the curious emotion right when they felt the earthquake, but the fear felt lacking (this may be intentional, since they wouldn't have much time to react) I did find myself wondering why a boy would be playing out a love scene ... one of the judges also questioned this. Creativity of topic: 9/10 Amount of words: 3/5 Grammar, spelling and punctuation: 4/5 Schrodinger:Judges were all shocked that you did this with the eggnog topic. Who in their right mind thinks: I know! Stuff them with eggnog. Still, it was really creative, which gained you top score there. It was very dark. Didn't spot any glaring mistakes. Length felt just about right. Creativity of topic: 10/10 Amount of words: 5/5 Grammar, spelling and punctuation: 5/5 Evern:(So glad you made it!) Personally, I loved the idea. The sea of Eggnog and the present island. Judges agreed that it was very creative. Again, kudos for using all the topics. The judges did comment that it felt a little short, and wanted a little more. They loved the last line. Creativity of topic: 10/10 Amount of words: 4/5 Grammar, spelling and punctuation: 5/5 Final scores:1st - Schrodinger: 20/20 2nd - Evern: 19/20 3rd - Agro: 17/20 4th - Kaez: 16/20 Sorry Kaez. You're out this round  but you ROCK for participating! ;D New topic coming soon, and new deadline! Well done folks who go to the next round: Evern, Schrodinger, and Agro!
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Dec 22, 2009 13:47:33 GMT -5
 With only 3 competitors left! Welcome to the semi-final of the WAR-Cup! Congrats to those participants who have made it this far. Who will pass to the next round? Who will win? Who will be crowned WAR-Cup King? Watch this space ... *cue dramatic music*
TOPIC for the Semi-Final is: Hibernation!Deadline is 24th December @ Socal midnight (judging to be done 25th ... poor judges!) Good luck! Remember - you are only allowed 10 minutes in which to write! |
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Post by WJChesek ((Evern)) on Dec 24, 2009 16:05:43 GMT -5
The bear grinned, adjusting his bow-tie. He walked to the back of his cave, placing the star on top of the christmas tree, and adjusting the gifts at the bottom. He adjusted the position of a few ornaments, before curling up in the back of the cave, near the fireplace. Christmas night would come, and bring with it Santa, and presents under his tree. And a month after that, he would be able to open the gifts.
A note was posted on the fridge, directing the Claus to the eggnog, as well as cookies, and so energize him during his visit. Snow started to drift outside as the bear slumbered, covering up the cave. The fireplace was kept clear, so that Santa could make his way down. Nothing would stop this bear from getting his gifts.
Christmas night came and went, bringing with it Santa and his gifts, the jolly fat red man ate the cookies, and drank the nog, leaving a few for the bear to enjoy. When the bear awoke, he opened a box. Grinning at the plastic army of penguins inside.
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Post by James on Dec 24, 2009 18:41:52 GMT -5
“Jenny, David, come here please,” their father called to them from the study.
“What Daddy?” they asked in union as they skipped into the room, innocent smiles painted across their faces.
“Well,” their father said, choosing his words with care. “Mummy has said that you’re not tidying your room.”
“But Daddy it’s so boring!” David moaned, as Jenny nodded vigorously next to him.
“Let me tell you a story then,” the father said, smiling as he came up with an idea for convincing his children to do their chores. “The story of the hard-working hedgehog and the lazy hedgehog.”
Both Jenny and David settled down on the floor, sitting on their legs as they listened to their father tell the story of two hedgehogs preparing for winter. He told them about how the hard-working creature collected food for the snow and made a cosy burrow to live in. Meanwhile the lazy hedgehog just spent his time running around, playing with his friends and eating any food he could find.
“And do you know what happened when winter came,” he asked, smiling at his children.
“They went to sleep,” Jenny answered quickly.
“Huh?”
“They went to sleep for winter, Mrs. Lawrence told us that hedgehogs hibernate over the winter,” Jenny explained, grinning at her own knowledge.
Her father brought his hand to his face, letting his fingers run down his face in exasperation over forgetting such a simple and well-known fact. Of course, hedgehogs slept during winter.
“That means we don’t have to tidy our room, right?” David asked cheekily. “Because both hedgehogs just went to sleep instead of doing work, even the hard-working one.”
“Yay!” Jenny cried, jumping up and rushing out of the study. Her father could hear her voice echo down the hall and she spoke to her mother. “Mummy, Daddy says we don’t need to tidy our room as long as we sleep lots!”
He gave a groan as he heard his wife’s sound of disapproval and her footsteps. Stupid hedgehogs and their hibernation, he thought, wishing at the same time that he could disappear and sleep for months.
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Post by o ding on Dec 24, 2009 22:27:21 GMT -5
The animal's fattened body laid down across the rock floor of a cave, chest heaving up and down slowly.
This continued throughout the entire winter until the animal awoke.
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Dec 25, 2009 19:03:58 GMT -5
Evern:Very creative, considering you used all the topics. (Including 1 added - bowtie.) The ending was very sweet. It was interesting. Some sentences felt a little long. It did feel a little short, but as it turned out, it was also a hard topic. Well done. Creativity of topic: 8/10 Amount of words: 5/5 Grammar, spelling and punctuation: 5/5 Agro:The judges really liked this story. Top marks for creativity. Didn't spot any glaring mistakes. It felt very realistic. Creativity of topic: 10/10 Amount of words: 5/5 Grammar, spelling and punctuation: 5/5 Schrodinger:The judges felt that you really didn't make much effort with this. There isn't much else we can say. There weren't any mistakes. Creativity of topic: 5/10 Amount of words: 3/5 Grammar, spelling and punctuation: 5/5
Final scores:1st - Agro: 20/20 2nd - Evern: 18/20 3rd - Schrodinger: 13/20 Sorry Schrodinger. You're out this round but you ROCK for participating! ;D FINAL TOPIC COMING UP! Well done to Evern and Agro, who now go head to head to become "King of the WAR!"
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Dec 25, 2009 19:23:21 GMT -5
Welcome to the FINALS! Two competitors go head to head after a long and fierce battle of titan-writers! Now it is time to decide who should be crowned "King of the WAR!"
*Cue Drum-roll!*
The FINAL Topic is: Turkey!Deadline is 27th December @ Socal midnight (judging to be done 28th) Good luck! Remember - you are only allowed 10 minutes in which to write! |
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Post by James on Dec 27, 2009 20:22:29 GMT -5
“I can’t believe you don’t think the presents are the most important part of Christmas,” Claire mumbled, watching the snowflakes flutter down onto the hard frosty ground. Her wish of a white Christmas was finally coming true.
“Because they’re not,” Keith answered, setting the table, putting down glasses and a jug of eggnog. “Sure, they’re the most central aspect of Christmas, and the first presents are important to Christian mythology. That doesn’t change the fact though that presents are now just a disguise for corporate greed.”
“Such the optimist,” Claire said, rolling her eyes. “That stuffed penguin that your sister got last year, the one that she still sleeps with and doesn’t let out of her sight. That’s a disguise for corporate greed?”
“Exception that proves the rule,” Keith smiled, beginning to put out the fine china plates, flowery decorations dancing across it.
“So what is the most important part of Christmas?” Claire asked, reaching for the glittering, clean cutlery.
“The turkey, of course,” Keith answered without a second thought. “Without it we might as well just sleep through the whole of Christmas and ignore the celebration entirely.”
“I wouldn’t mind some extra sleep,” Claire said, grinning her somewhat sultry smile. “But seriously, the turkey? How on earth did you decide that?”
“Easy,” Keith replied, putting down the last plate and jumping up onto the minute unoccupied space left on the kitchen counter. “Christmas spirit is key to Christmas, being around family, spreading joy and just having fun. Sure, presents help with that, but then we all disappear to mess around with our new toys. However, a few hours later, we’re all gathered around a wonderful dinner and we’re talking, joking and having fun while eating some exquisite food. It’s the dinner where the Christmas joy is really spread.”
“That’s the Christmas dinner then, not just turkey,” Claire corrected, looking at their handiwork. The table was draped in festive red tablecloth, food and utensils spread evenly across it, a delicious aroma wafting over the table. Next to each knife was a Christmas cracker, begging to be pulled.
“Let me ask you this,” Keith said, grinning. “What is a Christmas dinner without a turkey? Without turkey, it’s just Sunday roast that got lost.”
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Post by WJChesek ((Evern)) on Dec 28, 2009 3:15:03 GMT -5
...
SLJKdghlakjslaskdfjhskldf
Damn holidays and stuff!
Sorry I couldn't make it a fight, Agro. Unless Reffy's willing to let me post my entry tomorrow morning or some such.
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Post by WJChesek ((Evern)) on Dec 29, 2009 1:37:42 GMT -5
The turkey seemed to smile, strutting from spot to spot, pecking at the ground for food only it could see. Nobody particularly cared for this turkey. That is, until the time came.
Winter. The dead of winter. Christmas time.
A hunter, a gun, a flash, and the turkey's bright eyes faded.
It was brought back to the hunter's home, where the murderous process began. Feathers were plucked, stuffing was made. And a turkey was defiled, desecrated. Raped.
Christmas day. Happy people, children singing about their toys, screaming, playing. Parents talking around wine, a parade on TV. Talk of the next week.
The evening of the deed. The turkey had been sitting in an oven for the day, motionless, dead, and ready to be devoured. Knives, forks, all were stabbed into the turkey, rending its flesh. Hungry mouths stuffed it within, stuffing and all.
It was delicious murder.
The final part, the wishbone, taken between two siblings. A spoken challenge, an acceptance. Fun was had.
At the windows, we watched, biding our time, for vengeance would be ours. Carl might be dead, but we still had Bill, and Phil. We would win, eventually.
With a sigh, we put on our bow-ties, starting the funeral. Weapons would come on New Years.
Victory was at hand.
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Post by Jenny (Reffy) on Dec 29, 2009 19:38:17 GMT -5
The judging was extremely close! One story was very Christmassy, the other story was dark and morbid ... but the real question remains: Who won the Crown? Agro:The judges felt you really captured the feeling of Christmas. The last line was very sweet. The whole story was simple but effective. Kudos for very sneakily using all the topics. It was not noticed until a judge pointed it out. The dialogue felt a little stiff at one point, but not enough to spoil the story. There was only one sentence that confused everybody "putting down the last plate and jumping up onto the minute unoccupied space left on the kitchen counter." This sentence was a little odd. It seemed almost "broadway," and we were not sure if you meant to jump on to the counter! Creativity of topic: 9/10 Amount of words: 5/5 Grammar, spelling and punctuation: 5/5 Evern:The judges liked the use of topic, and believed it to be creative, but they did not really feel the "Christmassy" effect they wanted. It was a very morbid story. It reminded us a little bit of a dark and twisted "Chicken Run," (which was an awesome animated film) this did provoke a few giggles. The comment about the "dead" of winter was clever. It did feel a little short, and some parts were pretty choppy. We weren't sure if you intended the choppy effect. Kudos on the very visual piece of writing. Creativity of topic: 8/10 Amount of words: 5/5 Grammar, spelling and punctuation: 5/5 The Winner and King of the WAR-Cup is ..... AGRO! Congratulations! Evern - You ROCK for participating   Thank you to everybody who participated (and thank you to the judges! Sorry for the continuous nagging!) |
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Post by WJChesek ((Evern)) on Dec 29, 2009 19:59:07 GMT -5
<Shakes hands with Agro>
Good run.
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but you ROCK for participating! ;D
